If thats the way the cookie crumbles, then what does bread do?!
Answers: Loafs around.
floats on the water
It doesn't crumble unless it's stale.
bread breaks (as when you have a stale loaf and you can't slice it anymore. it breaks up into pieces.
It squishes, because you tried to cut it while it was still warm, and you used a crappy knife.
Balls?
Dries out and gets stale...then you have to throw it away!!!
slices