What is the best way to cook a hippopotamus?!
Answers: it looks a lot bigger on my kitchen table then it did in the supermarket... I think it might not fit in my oven.
Buy a mammoth-microwave!
Oh, but then it won't fit in your house...
Ah, well. Lay some tin foil on the ground outside and place the hippo ontop. Turn regularly.
In a few weeks, it should be cooked... although the flies might get at it first!!
Why do they sell a whole hippo at the market? And why'd you buy it!? Huh?
In a very large pan..
on a very large bar-b que :)
chop it up smaller you got a axe?
Think you might be better to put him on the BBQ.
Stir fry it,,,it will take less than 5 mins that way,,,,,,,,,, probably,,
Depends if you want it rare or well done
put it on toast!
alot of toast..
You need to dig a big pit in your yard, place the hippo in there and cook for many, many hours....
Low temp and slow
Perhaps you should cut it up into joints and steaks
If your oven isn't big enough - (that really surprises me)!
Dig a hole in your garden, place newspaper and wood criss cross to make the fire. Place the hippo gently onto it and replace the earth so the hippo is completely covered.
Leave it to cook for 2-3 days.You will have to keep guard overnight because the local cats will "party" over it.
Serve with your favourite leaves and chunks of garlic bread.
Enjoy..........xxx
a good marinade, soaked for a minimum of 24hrs to help tenderize the meat.
I would then recommend cooking it slowly over low heat, so it doesnt dry out and become tough and chewy.
I wanna know the grocery store you got the hippo so I can try...
Same way you cook a pig. That's what we do in California
LOL!!!! Cut it in half and see if it that fits.
first....................
kill your hippopotomus.......................
in the bath lol
be carefull it does not eat the veg .
Oh... a hippo? Normally you should do it sushi style, sliced raw and add some seasonings. ^_^
We have large pans here that we use to cook camels, I think a hippo would fit... ^_~
thats cruel the eyes are nice tho
Ah! a jokey query forsooth. Ye joking aside, I actually do have a receipt for the cooking of the Water Horse. Sadly I've never tried it myself but basically it's a stew and given the size of the beast, It's possible though not advisable, to secure enough for the pot without actually causing the demise of said ingredient!.
Tim's Hippopotomus Surprise
Put joint into some boiling water with whatever roots you can dig up (non poisonous ones of course) and quite a few Oxo from your trusty knapsack should do the trick. Put lid on and simmer for many hours, removing lid to skim off scum every now and then.
Meanwhile open a bottle of Gordon's, drinking long and fully through the mosquito netting. When the meat is tender, Surprise! throw it away and open another bottle of gin.
A real recipe for Hippopotamus can be found in the Larousse Gastronomique. (Oh! those wacky French. They'll eat anything, won't they?).
hippotimus roast
Do not eat that please
bring it to your next camp fire and just throw it in there
Grind it up and make burgers. Or Chlli...oooooooo
Where exactly do you come from?.
I found the best way to cook it was on a spit roast but it took about a week to finish cooking so invite all your friends around and have a week long garden party they will love you for it
If it is wild hippo, you will want a nice marinade for several days to make the gamey taste more palatable. Then i suggest you wrap it in tin foil to keep the freshness in.
Most wild hippo I have had, cooked at a very low temp in an outdoor pit for up to a week. Our biggest problem was finding a meat thermometer long enough to reach the middle.
But it you think cooking a hippo is difficult, and a problem to fit into your oven, try a giraffe next time. Those necks are buggers to work with!!!!!
On a spit over an open fire.
gas mark 4 32 hours baste regularly
very slowly with lots of chips
an open pit in the yard