What do you do when ppl. don't appreciate all the effort you go to, to entertain them with!


Question: What do you do when ppl!. don't appreciate all the effort you go to, to entertain them with
cooking a good, delicious meal!. I'm a really good cook and a Culinary Arts graduate; have worked pro/chef in Hotel Kitchens, Casinos, and Fine Dining restaurants!. So I know what I'm doing!. Yet I get complaints like!.!.!. "I can't eat anything with dairy products in it!." or "This broccoli is over cooked" (it was cooked for gran-ma who has very tender gums)!. Even!.!.!. "this dish is not hot enough!.!.!." well geese hon, you asked me to drive across town in 5:00 traffic and bring it to you, a 45-minute trip, although I did take special precautions to keep it nice and hot) exactly what is your problem!?!?!!! Tsk!.!.!. Ppl!. can be so ungratful and resentful over the least little thing!. So, I'm not cooking anymore for anyone except the immediate family!. How would you feel!?Www@FoodAQ@Com


Answers:
I understand perfectly how you feel!. It is very frustrating to invest time, energy, and money to prepare meals, which you do out of the goodness of your heart, only for your efforts to be met with whining, complaints, or without a word of thanks or praise!.

First, I want to assure you that it is never acceptable for people to behave in such a manner!. It is rude and boorish to be so thankless!. And you have every right to feel a little put out by their ingratitude!.

There was a time when people actually had manners, and knew that anytime someone did you the favor of offering you food, you graciously accepted it with a warm and sincere thank you, and knew better than to make offensive comments!. Unfortunately, people nowadays seem to think they have the right to critique whatever you prepare and serve!. And contrary to popular belief, it is NOT acceptable to inform people of your dietary habits and requirements!. You are supposed to accept the food, say thank you, and if you can, take a small bite!. And if it's something you can't eat or don't like, then you find a polite way of declining, without ever mentioning your likes/dislikes or food needs/restrictions!. Telling someone what you don't like or can't eat of what they have made for you is INEXCUSABLY RUDE!.

Here's an example of how to politely handle such a situation:

"Gee, Madge, this sure is delicious!. I can tell you made this from scratch!. The lemon sure does give it a nice zesty flavor!. But I really can't eat another bite, as I had a late lunch today!. Would it be all right if I took some home with me!? Thank you so much!. It really is good!. I know John will like it too!."

There IS a right way and a wrong way to decline food!!

But going beyond the atrocious lack of manners which is all too pervasive in today's society, the greater issue is: how are you going to choose to respond!. If you really love to cook, and you cook from your heart, you need to embrace the cold fact that a lot of people are just thankless, complaining sh!ts, and be prepared to just shrug it off!. And realize it's not really about them, anyway!.

On the other hand, why waste your talents on those that can't or won't appreciate it!? Reserve your efforts for those that do!. Maybe cook for your family and very closest of friends; people that really appreciate the time you take to do something nice for them!.

And keep in mind, some of the motivation of why some may nitpick at your food is jealousy!. It's not really about your food, it's about your talent and skill!. Sad but true!.

Been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, sold it on eBay!. lolWww@FoodAQ@Com

i really dont see how you can compare "I can't eat anything with dairy products in it" to "This broccoli is over cooked"

do you know their exact medical problems!? between 30 and 50 million Americans are lactose intolerant!. they may not know they is lactose intolerant or have a milk allergy only that dairy upsets their stomachs

honestly i think your reaction is really uncalled for!. dont let little things like this bother you!. this is the profession you got into and these kind of reactions happen every day!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Most people are bums Have you ever worked in an office those are the tightess people around never buy off of you but bring something in and they will eat it all there pigs and they will steal it to, now not all but alot of them most don't make that much it use to be those people were in to there dress now they look like they got out of bed and came to work so just ignore people like that ,like my mom use to to say there just jealous honey!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Wow, that is rude for sure! I cook for my family a lot!. If they ever behaved like that, I'd be done cooking!. I do sometimes try a new recipe on them and make a point of asking for their opinion!. Other than that, I expect them to say something nice, or nothing at all!. At the very least, they should be thanking you for cooking!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

It's simple, hon: don't invite the jerks back!. Anyone who has a particular problem with certain foodstuffs is obligated to let the cook/chef know well ahead of time - like someone who's allergic to tomatoes or peanuts!. But someone who pitches a b*tch just 'cause they like to b*tch - who needs 'em!?Www@FoodAQ@Com

Hun, i Know how you Feel!.

I have worked at a cafe before!. I Was vegetarian, prepparing food with meat in them!.
Ive gotten The rudeest complaints such as "It Doesnt smell Right!."
"I dont want too eat it because of her hair!.", and the famous "I Disliked the taste"

people can be pretty stupid!.
After someone said "The cow Didnt taste Fresh" I threw the dish In their face and quit!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Sometimes people just like to spin on a negative!.!.!.makes them feel powerful!.!.!.don't sweat it!.!.!.you did all you could to GIVE!.!.!.so if gran-ma wasn't happy with it!.!.choose whether you want to do it again!.!.!.if not then DON'T!!!!!!.!.!.!.and don't be so sensitive!.!.!.people are just what they are!.!.!.a good meal can't change thatWww@FoodAQ@Com

Honey, nobody can take advantage of you without your permission!. If you're a good chef, limit your culinary skills to people who can enjoy your skills!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Are these people paying for the food!? If not, stop cooking for the ungrateful whiners! I don't think I would even want to be friends with such entitled people!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

I would not invite them back either, I get the feelingthat because you are a chef, people expect more!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

some of the complaints sound genuine!. If someone is allergic to milk products then they can't eat it!. My dad loves raw veggies but hates cooked!. What is delicious to one person may not be delicious to another!.

However there are people who as you said who expects you to provide for them!. My near sister in law was that way!. She would come in, eat all the food in sight, never say thanks, never offered to bring anything herself, and complained about our cats when she was the one who called them over to her!. I essentially quit entertaining!. We told them we couldn't afford to feed everyone!.!.!.or at times we said if they want to bring something they can but we only had pop (or chips!.!.!.)!. They became a little more conscientous when it effected their pocketbook!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Because you are a really good cook every one expects perfection from you all the time!.
It goes with the territory,but by now you should know which people appreciate your gift and the ones that don't!.I feel the same way when i cook for friends and family, I have to perform every time and i feel the pressure!.
Don't let it bother you but think about inviting ungrateful people again,you don't need the negativity!.
http://hummingbirdpublications!.com Taste Greece the coffee table book with a difference!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

I agree that "I can't eat dairy products" is very different from the other two examples you have!. Of course, if you've invited them for dinner, they should have told you ahead of time so you could prepare, although it's possible they assumed you knew if they're good friends!.

As far as the other problems, don't cook for those people anymore!. If they're going to get into someone else's food or don't appreciate bringing them a special meal, then it's not worth the trouble of cooking for them!. I can certainly understand feeling upset and resentful!. Let it go and enjoy the compliments of people who appreciate all of your hard work!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Dont quit! You are a culinary arts grad and all you want to do is cook for immediate family!!? Thats just SOME people!. Im 16 and am looking to go to Culinary Institute of America and own a bakery and I know im going to get some people who will say something about my cakes and pastries!. I remember back when I very first started my family was going over to my mom's cousins house and she wanted to bring something but didnt have time so I took a box of cake mix that was in the cupboard and made a bundt cake with some icing!. I brought it in and one of the family members said "is this from scratch!?" and I said no and she told me how you should always bake from scratch and that the next time she sees me she wants scratch and nothing but it!. I use scratch all the time but I didnt let her comment bring me down!. You clearly have a talent if you went to college to pursue it!. Dont let peoples comments bring you down!. Someone always will but for that one someone there will be more people raving!. Honestly the next time someone says something tell them what you went through!. Dont stop cooking!Www@FoodAQ@Com

Well in all honesty!. I know how you feel but at the same time you are over reacting a little bit!. People don't always have the same taste as you and that will happen!. The dairy complaint is justifiable!. However tell the person that got into Granny's food to keep their paws out of other peoples meals and they wouldn't have mushy broccoli!. Tell them this was a special dish made just for ____ so that she could enjoy a meal and not have it be so painful when she tries to eat it!. If the snitcher thinks it looks like something they want then offer to give them the recipe or invite them over one nght to share!.

And if it's not hot enough then reheat it!. Or save the final baking/cooking for when you get to the persons house!. By not cooking it at your house you can leave earlier and avoid so much traffic!. Pop it in that persons oven set a timer and leave!. Pick up the dirty or used/clean dishes next time you go over!.

I share with my hubby's 88 yr old grandma!. I make a little extra of our meal and either take it over to her the next day or freeze it in indivdual sized disposable aluminium loaf or pie pans!. Cover with foil to reheat!. 4 or 5 in the freezer will be more than plenty for an elderly person for about 1 week or maybe even mor edepending on the meal and how much is in there!.

Just remember when it come to food and child rearing people get super picky!. Your just gonna have to be able to take it all with a grain of salt!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

I'm totally with sehrelli!. People should shut up and eat (rude, aren't I!?)! If I am unsure of what is offered, I only take a small portion to sample before I take a full serving!. If I like it and there's no more, it is my loss!. Better than wasting food!.

I can totally relate; I have a sister who hates chicken and believes that our mother always makes it just to spite her!. In actuality, my mother makes excellent chicken, and was doing her best to accomodate many people's needs at the same time!. No wonder we haven't shared a meal together as a family for over 15 years!. These kind of complaints can make for a sour holiday!

Too bad people are so selfish and cruel!. Oftentimes they don't even realize how bad their behavior really is!. It's truly a cause for pity!. It's a sad state of affairs that has led to the current economic crisis on a global level!. I sure wish things were different !.!.!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

I agree with you 100%, if the people you are cooking for are not paying for it and you're doing it from the kindness of your heart, then just stop the aggrivation and cook for those who truly appreciate your efforts and talent!. The dairy product situation should've been dealt with before the meal and the host of the event or guest should've told you in advance!. If not, then it's their problem, not yours!. Yes, I've also gotten used to having a thicker skin at work because you can't please everybody all of the time, but I certainly wouldn't take it from people who are eating for free! I can understand your sensitivity to these comments, cooking is very passionate for you and you take it personally when others are not pleased by your love for cooking and all that it entails!. Good for you to not invite this one particular person anymore and now, you're going to be able to enjoy the family dinner more often! I do know how you feel and I hope this answer helps you to feel better about this horrible experience!.Www@FoodAQ@Com





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