How long can a man remain submerged in custard?!
I'm challenging my fellow club member Colonel Whiston Lyme-Stanforth to hold his breath in a bathtub full of custard during the next twenty four hours!. However, It will be lukewarm custard, made from several pints relating to birds!. If he manages more than three minutes, he wins a ham!. Is this realistic!?Www@FoodAQ@Com
Answers:
My dear fellow, I fear this jape may lead to tragedy and therefore hasten to warn you, knowing that you are not well versed in the construction of risk assessments!.
Bird's Custard (purveyors of custard to royalty for over a century) is well known for its propensity to form a thick blanket of skin on cooling and when exposed to the air!. Colonel Lyme-Stanforth is a fine, normally upstanding military man who will not duck your challenge and who will lie down in your bath, wherupon he is likely to find himself trapped beneath a leathery layer of the said skin!. Following nasal ingestion of the underlying unctuous confection, he will naturally attempt to come up for air!. However, the skin on British custard can be penetrated by no man, and he will be kept down, his attempts to emerge only visible as are the bumpy stretchings of the unborn babe in its mother's belly!.
The tragedy, of course, is that he will therefore win and you will have to deliver the ham to his wife along with his body, by now only removable from the bath with the aid of chisels, bolsters or a pneumatic drill!. Have your chef prepare a true 'crème anglaise' with eggs and cream and sugar!. Only by adhering to proper standards can such a tragedy be avoided!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Bird's Custard (purveyors of custard to royalty for over a century) is well known for its propensity to form a thick blanket of skin on cooling and when exposed to the air!. Colonel Lyme-Stanforth is a fine, normally upstanding military man who will not duck your challenge and who will lie down in your bath, wherupon he is likely to find himself trapped beneath a leathery layer of the said skin!. Following nasal ingestion of the underlying unctuous confection, he will naturally attempt to come up for air!. However, the skin on British custard can be penetrated by no man, and he will be kept down, his attempts to emerge only visible as are the bumpy stretchings of the unborn babe in its mother's belly!.
The tragedy, of course, is that he will therefore win and you will have to deliver the ham to his wife along with his body, by now only removable from the bath with the aid of chisels, bolsters or a pneumatic drill!. Have your chef prepare a true 'crème anglaise' with eggs and cream and sugar!. Only by adhering to proper standards can such a tragedy be avoided!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Bah ! amateurs, Sniffy Blenkinsop and myself threw my man Cuthbertson from the top of the church tower headfirst into a barrel of Tesco's custard, whilst attempting the new world record in custard barrel diving!. Had he not rendered himself totally conscious on hitting the bottom of the barrel, he could have drowned in the damned stuff!. As it was he managed to eat his way out in 3 hours 33 minutes, for it was only a 55 gallon barrel!. The height attained was 132' 8", we missed the record by just 3 inches, damned shame if you ask meWww@FoodAQ@Com
As I am not familiar with custard challenges, and have only had knowledge of the food in a doughnut, I am assuming it will be a great feat to hold his breath for 3 minutes!. Am I too assume is head has to be submerged!? Please make sure the rules specify that fact!. I can picture the old Colonel finding that loophole very advantageous!. Is the ham a spiral cut!?Www@FoodAQ@Com
Dear Sir!.!.!.I am sure the Colonel will be able to muster the custard!.!.!.Any man that gives up the chance to win a free ham is indeed a ham himself!.!.!.!.May I suggest that you have a towel ready for him because he will be cleaning bird ca ca out of his nose and ears for days to come!Www@FoodAQ@Com
He is likely to sustain brain damage as a result, so it really comes down to how large the ham is!. If it is indeed a large ham then it probably woul be worth it!. I've sustained brain damage for less, but we all got a good chuckle out of it!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I say!. I believe the Colonel should feel right lucky to be included in any wager set forth by you!. As for the ham, I say use the finest ham for yourself for a fabulous feast, and leave the store-brand for the colonelWww@FoodAQ@Com
As far as I know, you can survive in custard no longer than underwater!. It would be quite a feat if he made it 3 minutes, but not impossible!. I wouldnt attempt that challenge for a ham, however!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
A Ham for 3 minutes!? LMAO!.
The custard would cost more then the ham!.
If he agrees, then he's the real "Ham"!.
Not worth the laundry bill!.
Cheapo!!
--Fun question--love it-:)Www@FoodAQ@Com
The custard would cost more then the ham!.
If he agrees, then he's the real "Ham"!.
Not worth the laundry bill!.
Cheapo!!
--Fun question--love it-:)Www@FoodAQ@Com
did you no one can actually walk on custard if given the opportunity!. one may also find interesting that this is used to train cheerleadersWww@FoodAQ@Com
Well most people can't hold their breath for more than about a minute and a half!. I'm not sure the prospect of winning a ham would provide him with extra motivation, either!.!.!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Don't know about custard!. I submerged my last husband in some yorkshire pudding batter mix!. To my knowledge he is still there!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
No, this is against the law!. He will be remanded in custard should he try this!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Place fruit jelly under his feet and cream on top of the surface and it will be a trifle! *groans*
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For as long as he keeps up his snorkel!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Don't know but it would be amazing fun trying!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
until hes released from custardyWww@FoodAQ@Com
not realistic!.!. I suppose I would love to be thrown into a tub full of flan!.!.!. mmmmm!1 Www@FoodAQ@Com
its just the sameas holding your breath under waterWww@FoodAQ@Com
Yumm, ask if he would like some company!.
We could wrestle for the ham!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
We could wrestle for the ham!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
U TART !!!!Www@FoodAQ@Com