Death by granola...........?!


Question: Death by granola!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!?


****OK this question has nothing to do with cooking!.!.!.!.however with what I am going through this week,the fact that yahoo suggested this section only made me smile!.

to be fair!.!.!.!.!.!.!. if you have a family recipe that has death and granola as ingredients and you can't wait to share!.!.!.if you send it !.!.I promise I will cherish it!.********

this past week I decided to stop drinking!.!.!.!.it has sucked I will admit!.!.!.!.as long as I stay away from sharp objects , I 'm sure I will be fine!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.and just 3 months ago , I gave up smoking cold turkey!.!.the amount of rolling papers I was going through was getting out of hand and you never get the taste of feathers out of your lungs!.!.!.I'm sure you understand!.!.

this all started when I turned 38!.!.!.!.is this my mid-life crises!? shouldn't I be skydiving or buying faster cars!.!.!.this heath kick thing is killing me!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.wait !.!.!.!.I got a cooking question!

is there a meal I a can make to help that doesn't involve sharp objects, giant flames or possible harm to the general public!.

once again , thanks for putting up me~DaveWww@FoodAQ@Com


Answers:
Ten Steps to Breakfast!.

1 – Buy eggs, milk, spread and sliced bread from small shop with few shoppers to bump into and no queues!. Do not open mouth to apparition at checkout, just grimace a closed-lip smile and nod thanks!. Pay by card!. Avoid temptation - you don't want to be knocking the change out of its claws!.

2 – Find home!. Do not ask way – this is exercise and a fine opportunity to provide brain with oxygen and create new passageways!. Ignore elephant in entrance hall!.

3 – Find key, insert into lock, twist (the easy way), enter!. Relax!. The noise is not a monster but your stomach rumbling and the public is now safe from you unless foolhardy enough to knock at your door!.

4 – Find kitchen!.

5 – Find bowl, pan, fork (careful), spoon, plate and toaster!. Toaster is important as it does the thinking and so avoids the giant flame problem!.

6 – OK, you’ll have to do some washing up!. Wash bowl, pan, fork, spoon and plate (not toaster)!. (Just seen you are married, so I imagine you can skip this bit)

7 – Break eggs into bowl and beat them with fork (this part is GOOOOOD! Make it last)!.

8 – Put on calming music (this next part is boring, let’s face it)!. Add milk to eggs, bread to toaster, small amount of spread to pan, cook eggs, spread to edges of plain toast!.

9 – Ignore elephant knocking on door!. You have a dangerous weapon (fork) in your hand! Think! Fork - elephant… A moment of weakness now could ruin it all, and you are so near your goal!. Don’t get distracted – turn cooker off or flames WILL appear!.

10 – Eat!. Repeat every day, one day at a time, until monsters and flames can be relied upon not to impinge upon your daily life!.


Keep going, End of Story!. We’re with you!.

Www@FoodAQ@Com

Dave buddy, your not making things easy!. You could always make ham, cheese and tomato fingers grilled, but then you will need a knife and an oven ohhhhhh dear!. The skydiving idea is looking real good at the moment!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Oh please!.!.!.tongue kiss me quick!.!.!.I will pay copious amounts of cash and do almost anything to catch a granola disease!.!.
*said while munching on the 5th Oh Henry bar for breakfast*

LOLOL Jingles! and CM (chocolate kisses)!Www@FoodAQ@Com

French fries at mcdonalds yummmy Www@FoodAQ@Com

Uhhh!.!.!.
You could make!.!.!.!.
Apple sauce!.!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Hungry Man Microwave Dinner!! And hey if you want to go healthy then you could do a Lean Cuisine or Healthy Choice!.!.!. yeah don't do Lean Cuisines they will think you gay at the registers!.

Why not just drink healthy and go to Bloody Mary's!? I know I am not a good influence, I just strongly believe that saying yes is always more fun than saying no!

Best of luck on the quitting I too will be stopping smoking here in the next week or two cold turkey so rest assured you will have the opportunity to taunt me then!.Www@FoodAQ@Com

Find another hobby!. It will take your mind off drinking and smoking!.

Eat more granola!. The truth is, there have been no deaths reported on record for over-indulgence of granola!.

The same can not be said for smoking and drinking!.

I don't think it's a mid-life crisis!.!.!.unless you have the urge to replace the cigs and booze with a little red corvette and a blonde with bodacious ta-ta's!.

Might just be!.!.!.at this stage in your life!.!.!.you have suddenly realized, this is no way to live!.

Sometimes, it takes us a while!.

Be happy! Eat healthy!! And have a granola bar!. No sharp objects, giant flames, or general harm to the public required!.Www@FoodAQ@Com





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