Girlfriend wants to be best friends.. long story! help!? please! (:?!
my girlfriend.. ive been dating her for year and 7 mnths.. we went on a break bout a 2 months ago.. *cause of fights contisouly happening.. stupid reasons too..* break lasted bout 2 weeks. we got back together.. things have been better then ever! these last two months.. reason being.. while we were on break. i got myself diagnoised with being bipolar.. so i am taking medicine.. which. it kept me normal and calm.. so jealously wouldnt happen.. *im kinda insecure*.. thts why things were good tho!.. well.. a week ago. I stopped taking my meds.. * she doesnt know bout the bi polar* cause the meds.. i dont know.. makes me feel.. like im not me.. but i was gnna see if i could control myself.. which i failed.. i got jealous 3 days latr.. and a fight happened.. that night I told her i was bi polar and bout how the pills help and make things so much bttr and easier for me in life.. emotionally. and how i went off them to see how i could do.. well break up happened.. but NOW she wants to be best friends.. which i can handle.. i love her.. she decided the best friends thing.. 4 hrs after we broke up.. or 5.. she came over to my house that day and we had fun.. played games.. etc. Were still going to prom together.. which is in a month. april 2nd SHES NOT from my school.. those year and 7 mnths we dated.. we snuke out the first 5 or 6.. she was always grounded cause of it. and now shes busy with work.. she used to have so many friends in here life.. but they changed on her.. (drugs.. etc.. bad stuff) she doesnt do anything.. so now.. this last week.. she talks to 4 or 5 guys.. thats it.. Im thinking shes jst waiting to see if i really changed bout being insecure and she jst wants some time with friends before me and her go back together.. cause ever since we started dating.. she hasnt hung out with friends.. they were a mess.. but now she has some..
btw. im 17.. shes 16. I know , teenage drama..
I just wanna know what should i do? I like being her best friend.. i think we'll get back together before prom happens. but sometimes i get doubts.. any help?
Answers:
Oh, teenage dilemmas. I'm the other way around, also 17.. boyfriend 16, but there's an even longer story behind us.. haha anyway. Obviously she still wants you in her life, if she's saying to be best friends.. although you love her and that may not be enough for you.. if you're her best friend she's gonna rely on you and use you as a shoulder to cry on etc etc.. that may be all very well as you will care a lot about her.. but what if another guy comes along? You wouldn't be able to deal with just being the best friend.. I wouldn't risk getting hurt. Just try talking to her some more, I mean its partly not your fault anyway with you being bi polar. I'd suggest just keep taking your meds, be civil with her but maybe not best buddies, because as soon as you get in the friend zone it may be hard to get out.. stick to your guns, as they say XD. If worst comes to worst, tell her you can't just be her friend, you love her and you'd want more than that. Work on your self esteem, try to learn to be less insecure.. after all, if she's with you.. you're the one she wants, and don't let jealously get the better of you.. don't let the fact of her being friends with guys get to you, unless it's really something to worry about, just shrug off the jealously or being paranoid and be her boyfriend, the one guy she loves and who knows it. Try to be there for her, especially if she now has no one to go to.. but just make sure it's not in just a friend kinda way.. well.. be the best friend but also a boyfriend type. I mean, I consider my boyfriend my best friend because we're close. and if she lets you go, then more than likely she isn't worth the hurt if she doesn't accept you, for you. If anything, just take this as another break and see how things go. Hopefully you'll be together again for prom even! :)
Sorry for writing so much, but I hope this helps just a little :) I hope everything turns out good for you.
-- Oooh, i seee haha yeah that makes it different I guess. Mm, it will be hard =/.. If she's not trying to put you into just being friends, you're pretty much as you were just minus being boyfriend and girlfriend.. for now.. then I'd just go with it, and take that as a good thing. I'd do as you said, just wait it out.. let things play out on her terms so you know what she wants, since you don't wanna keep pushing it and stuff. Cause well, she'd know you still love her as you were together a while, and you being friends just to be close to her so she must know that you'd still want to be her boyfriend, girls sense these things ;).. you seem to care about her an awful lot, so I'd say it's worth the wait. Just hang in there :)
--Awww, well then she's lucky so make sure she knows that! :).. and aw yeah, welll then I wouldn't consider it too serious or anything to worry a great deal about.. there's still something between you so fight for her.. as I said, hang in there, and wait things out.. everything should be ok :) I hope so for you.. good luck!
Okay - long story made short.
Jealousy is the human response to "insecurity"... if you're feeling JEALOUS - you need to work on your self-esteem.
Secondly... If she wants to be FRIENDS... and you want more... then tell her no thanks and move on.
IF you can deal with the demotion or if she wants to be BOTH... then GO FOR IT.
It's really just that simple.