Whisky cake recipe. Do you think this recipe will be OK for my dinner party?!

It's never too soon, as all fruit cakes will attest. You'll need half a pound of butter, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, a cup of dried fruit, one teaspoon of baking soda, one teaspoon of salt, lemon juice, some nuts and a bottle of WHISKY. TASTE WHISKY to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. CHECK WHISKY again. To ensure it is really of the finest quality, pour one level cupful and drink. Repeat. Turn on electric mixer and beat in butter. Add one spoontea of sugar and beat again. Make sure WHISKY is still OK. Cry another tup. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the dried fruit. Fix in the turner.

If the fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry loose with a drewscriver. Sample WHISKY again to check for tonsistancisity. Next, sift two cups of salt - or something. Who cares? Check WHISKY. Sift lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one babblespoon of brown sugar, or whatever colour you can find. Wix smell. Grease oven. Taste WHISKY and turn cake pan to 350 gredees. Don't forget to beat off turner. Throw bowl out of the window, sample WHISKY again and bo to ged. Hicky mischrass and deep screams.