How do I cook well on a crappy stove?!

How do I cook well on a crappy stove?

I live in an apartment so I have no control over the appliances in my kitchen. The stove is a cruddy electric range abomination with slanted, uneven, gunky burners (yes, I do clean them but there's alway something on the left one that makes it smoke) that don't respond exactly to the heating controls. I love cooking and am so jealous watching the Food Network stars creating food masterpieces with their expensive cookware, kooky gadgets, and amazing appliances. I suppose the cookware is part of the problem, but I just don't have the money for the gourmet quality stuff. How do I adjust my cooking practices on my crappy stove with my hand-me-down pots and pans to replicate their perfectly clarified butter, precisely medium pan-seared filet minion, flawless balsamic-wine glaze reduction, and pristine not-curdled hollandaise?

Cooking on crappy appliances and cookware is a true test of a cook's patience. Before I completely remodeled my kitchen I found that I had to spend a lot more time watching the stove and the food. You have to really get to know your electric range so you know what to watch for - turning itself off, one burner hotter than the rest, etc. Your oven will need the same patience and you can test it with an oven thermometer so you'll have an idea of how to adjust when baking in it. You may also find that sauces are easier on an electric pan (I had a giant one that I used "on the side" because I could better control the heat of that electric pan).
Pass the word to friends and family that you'd really appreciate cookware or kitchen stuff as gifts.
I wish you MUCH culinary luck!