Why won`t Teens take some constructive criticism ?!
were trying to make a simple dinner of spaghetti
salad and garlic bread . her husband dumps the
spaghetti noodles in the pot of water before it boils
not only that he dumps a box ( jumbo size ) into a pot not big enough !!! Now they both are pouting in the bedroom can you believe it ?
Answers: My young Daughter and her husband ,( both under 20 )
were trying to make a simple dinner of spaghetti
salad and garlic bread . her husband dumps the
spaghetti noodles in the pot of water before it boils
not only that he dumps a box ( jumbo size ) into a pot not big enough !!! Now they both are pouting in the bedroom can you believe it ?
Well... everyone makes mistakes.
If they're both under the age of 20, then they're probably still in the "I KNOW EVERYTHING!!!" stage of life. I passed through that one fairly early as a teenager, after having eaten humble pie about my cooking a fair few times from my EXTREMELY picky mother.
The be all end all of making them eat their mistakes:
"Did you read the directions?"
You should have minded your own business. Cooking is tough for some. My husband was intimidated by it, until he slowly kept trying new things and gained confidence. I'm sure everything you've cooked (or done in life, for that matter) hasn't been perfect. So what if your son-in-law ruins a pot of noodles? What a shame. I feel so bad for them, and hope that they come back to cooking- when you're not around.
**Well, bigfred, I hope that our answers really do all have merit, I'm now glad you asked your question, and it sounds like you are, too.
I hope your wife gets better very soon. Get out and buy her some flowers, and give her a hug. I hope she hugs you back. ;o)
They sound like wimps....and not all teenagers are like that. Perhaps the approach you went at giving the criticism was wrong? I know I always appreciate it when people guide me in the right direction (not in a harsh way though). If the approach you went at giving them constructive criticism was not harsh then all I have to say is....Oh my goodness they need to get over it and learn how to make spaghetti.
It isn't just teens who won't take constructive criticism. And I don't see how making dinner requires criticism...direction and help might be better. Anyway way you can't make someone do something if they aren't willing to listen. Your daughter is married and independent from you now (even if she might live with you). Let her learn on her own, chances are you were the same way when you were her age.
you tell em Sarah, let the kids experience likes ups and downs on there own and stop tiring to help. that will just cause resentment
Well im a teen myself and when im trying to do something i dont really like it when my mother tells me the "right way" to do it. I would rather do it wrong and learn from my mistake. Just the other day I was trying to make one of those cream pies i always see on t.v and when my mother told me my pie looked like abowl full of mayo I felt like yelling "ok mrs. master chef its nice that you can make wonderful culinary delights but can you please shut up"......well what im trying to say is next time AFTER they have finished the meal and ASK you why it didnt turn out so good then you can help:)
The question should be: When will parents learn that their offspring do not want their advise?
No matter how much more experienced we are, no matter how much more we actually know, they do not want us to tell them. Whenever we give "helpful advise" they think we are pointing out that we are superior and they know nothing. It may be true but they won't appreciate it so you have to learn to never give your ideas unless they ask for them.
Hun did we listen at the age, plus shes married, he the man in their relationship, and she is still your baby girl. They are trying to be independent, and its hard to go. You want to protect her as he does, she is trying to find herself as a wife.
I know I never listened, I always wanted to prove after I moved out my way was good too. As I found out no they weren't, and yet some was . I went thru a divorce at 30. Single mom she was a premie, working , my parents were there i was thankful, then a few months later, I hurt my back doing med tech and cna work. I thought it would be cured quickly wrong. I lost car apt totally broke, and the amount of money form help was not enough close to be enough. So home I went. Divorced, homeless, jobless, invalid(I felt like it anyway, couldnt do anything was laid out flat on back. Anyway thta was a huge huge burden./ Parents wanted to protect, and I wanted them to know I was an adult. Maybe this is similiar to whats going on in your house. Good luck and be supportive. They are young, just think of where we were at that age(mind wise)
First off they are married now so try treating them like they are adults. And everyone starts off messing up when they first start cooking. Its not a problem. If you saw this happen all you had to do was jump in and help direct them a little more. I always forget to boil the water, my boyfriend just laughs and me and the pasta is most of the time just fine. Of course they are pouting you can't look at them like adults and criticizing. It takes like 10 minutes to boil water and go buy some new noodles.
Try to remember what it was like being a teenager. Don't criticize. Try to help, of course, but don't be too harsh when they don't listen. There was a time when you didn't know nearly as much as you do now.
Instead of intervening when u had the chance u probably just watched the scene as gleefully as though u were watching a tennis match and couldnt wait to shout "Are you stupid?!?" or "Hey Soninlaw, Dont you know any better!" So telling all your family, friends & nieghbours wasnt enough, had to use every means of communications open to you HUH! Who gets married at 19 anymore!
Because they know everything.