I'm thinking of throwing a 40th birthday party for my husband?!?!
Answers: I want to throw a 40th birthday party for my husband. the thing is he is an alcoholic and has been sober for over 2 years. I am worred people will show up with alcohol and it will bother my husband? What do you think? should I just forget about it or...? Can you suggest something else we can do? Advice from someone who is or knows someone who is a recovering alcoholic would be great. thank-you!
I have to start off and say that my answer is Biased, cuz I REALLY hate surprise parties.
Given your circumstances, tho, you might think about putting that money and effort towards a romantic weekend away somewhere. Even if it's just getting a nice hotel room in the nearest city + walking around, or taking him to see a macho sex-and-violence movie he'd like, the focus would be on him and what he'd like to do. It doesn't have to be extravagent.
Now what would REALLY blow his mind, is if there's something intimate he may have asked you to do at some point in your lives, that you weren't really comfortable with. If you were to revisit the issue as a 'special birthday surprise', I guarantee that he would cherish that more than any party you could ever throw. And that's FREE!!!!!!
Well, you didn't say if being sober 2 years meant he has a new group of friends who don't use? If his friends are the same ones that he used to party with then I'd suggest another 40th birthday bash idea. Hey, be creative, lots of ways to make him remember he's 40 going on 19.............
You can always ask your guests or say on the invite that alcohol will not be provided or welcome, but in a nicer way. But if you invite close friends, I am sure most of them understand & know about the problem. Do you think the alcohol would bother him?
I like the trip idea the other person gave
or else you could have some kind of party during the day- then people won't really even be thinking about drinking. What's he into is the question- sports, gambling, movies, etc? find his main interest and try to revolve the party around that. his friends and family should all know his situation anyway and know not to bring him booze. maybe a winter luau theme during the afternoon with a pig roast and just a big batch of pineapple punch! we had a pig roast for my hubbies 30th and it was great!
Tell him about the party, ask him if it would be a trigger then tell him to ask his sponsor. If his sponsor thinks it okay then invite his sponsor too. His friends should have enough respect for his boundaries to not do anything to jeopardize his sobriety.