It's my sister's 21st on 9th Feb and she says she doesn't want a party?!
Answers: My mum and i were going to arrange a surprise party, is this wise or should we just take no for an answer? I thought she may be saying no, so as not to put anyone out.
You could ask her if she's got any plans. If she asks why, just shrug and say you wondered if she wanted to do something. she might say a girls night out, a trip to the cinema/nightclub - that way at least you'll know. Could you ask her Best friend?
We had this with my mate's sister. She said she didn't want a party, so everybody took it at face value and didn't arrange anything. Then all she did all night was moan coz she was down the local pub with us all 'as usual' . We kind of remedied it by getting a take-away and some beer and going back to a friends house and playing some music - but it was a close run thing. If you don't do anything and she moans, tell her not to tell lies in future!!!!
she says no, that means no. No surprise party therefore.
Well thats saved a few quid then..
Only you know her well enough to know ....My hubby was 40 and said he didnt want a party I took him at his word then out of the blue when he was about 45 he said he wished he had a party
does no mean yes everyone says the don't want a surprise party knowing their likely to get one do want you think she wants not what she says she want
i would ask her one more time but you could leave it for a day or two or she might lose the head if you keep on asking ?
She says she doesn't want a party....what does she want to do then? Why not tell her that it's her day and you and your family will do whatever she wants to do for the day. :)
I didn't want a party for my 21st either, my mom asked me what did i want to do....I wanted to go to Grand West, gamble, go ice-skating and play games, basically be a child for the night. So that's what she did, she took me and we did anything I wanted. (as much as she hates arcade games, she played them)
I have no regrets, I did what I wanted to do and loved it. I didn't have to worry that at a party, I'd have to make sure the guests are happy, are they enjoying themselves....all that crap.
Birthdays are supposed to be about the person who's birthday it is. But by voicing those opions out loud, it can be seen as selfish....even though it's not.
So....maybe that's all she wants. To be able to do what she wants to do. .
only you and your mum REALLY know whether this is a case of no menas yes with your sister
did you have a bash for her 18th? is she s party kinda girl?
why not have a family dinner, something elegant, an excuse to get dressed up and invite a few of her close friends, to mark the occassion? It would be nice to have a celebration, perhaps she doesnt want a huge party with people getting drunk etc
Instead of a surprise party, which a lot of people do not like, why not either invite a few special friends around for a meal or book a table at a nice restaurant. You can cook it yourselves or have a small caterer in to do it if you choose the former.
If she says no she probably means no. Take her out for a quiet meal with close family.
before my 30th i caught my sister and partner whispering in corners and deduced they were going to arrange a surprise party.i went mad a s i hate the attention , and told them if they still did it id walk out .so they promised not to.on my birthday we were just going to go for a meal at my sisters sister in laws cafe.when i turned up everyone screamed surprise and half of wales jumped out on me .i was really annoyed because id gone out for lunch and had a couple of lagers,so i was feeling a bit lethargic and didnt even dress up so ifelt really uncomfortable.in the end though they got me so drunk i didnt care,however my sister wouldnt be left alone withme that night because she thought i was going to kill her.for my 40th im going to go away for the weekend (if i get any surprises on that one shes in trouble)
I don't know your sister, so I'm not sure on this. But if she is turning 21, my guess would be she already has plans. Specifically a club or bar with friends so she can have her first legal drink. She may literally want no party out of fear she will either have to disappoint you and your mother or that she will be detained from hanging out with her friends at the club/bar.
Maybe doing a little celebration, like a few cupcakes and a couple of presents. Something that would end rather quickly so she doesn't feel held up but still knows you care. Or maybe celebrate a day before or after her birthday so this situation can be avoided.