Is it polite to help clean-up after your host invited you over for dinner?!
Is it polite to help clean-up after your host invited you over for dinner?
My boyfriend and I are arguing over what is the right thing to do. He thinks that the host should not expect any help, because that is why they are HOSTING the dinner party. I think it is appropriate to help clean-up because it is just one more way to show that you appreciate the meal and company.
Answers:
Unless the host has the assistance of servants or a professional caterer, it is always polite to offer. If you know the host well, perhaps you can even test the waters a little if it seems that they are declining just to be polite at first, but beyond that you should respect the host's wishes. Many appreciate the help and this can be a fun part of the social interaction, but some hosts truly prefer to handle cleanup in their own routine way, or some may prefer to deal with the cleanup effort in the morning. It's their call.
Tell your boyfriend that with that attitude, he is not likely to be on anyone's "A List" for social events.
It is polite to offer, the host usually declines though. If you come to my house for dinner and offer help I accept it!!!
Yes I think it is!
they invited you for a good meal the least you could do is help a little
When I have company over for dinner or anything else, I always appreciate when my guests offer to help me clean up. I never take them up on the offer, but I think it's rude not to offer. I think the fact that they invited you over and cooked for you is reason enough to offer to help with the clean up.
Well I think both of you are right...Your hostess may not expect help in cleaning up, BUT, the polite thing to do is to offer. It shows your hostess that not only do you have good manners, but that you did enjoy the meal and appreciate the invitation. Besides, the sooner the clean-up is done, there is more time for socializing.
I think you should definitely offer and ask if you can help in any way. They will probably decline, but it is still a very nice gesture. I also think it is polite to invite the host over within a few months to something that you host as well.
I think offering to help clean up is the polite thing to do and shows appreciation for the invite you received.
It is always appropriate, and I think very polite, to offer to help your host to clean up if you are a guest at their home or party. They may not accept, but will appreciate the thought. However, if you are hosting, you should not EXPECT your guests to help you clean or even offer. It's your party..clean up your mess. If they offer to help, it's up to your discretion to accept or not. At a caual dinner, it is no big deal for everyone to pitch in. If you're hosting something more formal, it may be a bit tacky to accept your guests help.
Yeah, it is definitely polite to offer... it shows that you recognize them as a host and a friend not just their cook :D
nothing wrong with offering. the host usually appreciates the offer but most of the time they will decline, but your offering will make an impression and if they take you up on it, make sure you were sincere and not just trying to be nice.
I think it differs according to class. It is rude/unheard of to offer to help if you are 'upper' class and more likely to be a working class thing to help with the dishes. Sometimes i offer to help my host and sometimes i don't, depending on how i am feeling. I guess that is middle class! I am not a snob, but am fascinated in the British class system as have moved here from Oz where we don't have such divides betweeen people.
While the host should not expect help, the polite thing to do is to offer. If the offer is declined, then don't force it. Many hosts truly appreciate the help, and I don't know of any who wouldn't at least appreciate the offer.
Yes, it's very polite to offer. Even when they decline I will help anyway, I don't just say ok and leave or sit down. I think even though they say no, they really want you to some point anyway.
If I puke on the floor, I always clean up. Otherwise, no. You're a guest, not a servant.
it's very polite! as someone who likes to entertain, it's a very nice gesture to offer to help. afterall, the host cooked everything for you, the least you can do is help him/her clean up. even though i never accept the help offered because i want my guests to just relax and enjoy, it is very nice to receive the offer.
I grew up in a family where it was just something you did, help clean up. I don't even ask, I'll start clearing empty plates and such and put them neatly in the kitchen. I won't DO their dishes unless I ask first. After all, if it's heirloom plates or something, I don't want to break one! But if it's a picnic and there are plastic cups and paper napkins, I'll pick stuff up and toss it out.
After all, the hostess knows how much those plates and wineglasses cost!
yes, definitely a polite gesture and a welcoming one to help clean up. Also you will get invited back again if you show politeness in helping to clean up.
There is nothing worse than invited people who come eat and just get up and leave without even asking if they can help with cleaning up...let alone helping.
I agree with you completely that it is appropriate which shows you appreciate the meal and company. Kudos to you for good manners! You can come to my house anytime minus the BF if he still resists helping!
Absolutely, it's OK!!!! Sounds to me as if your husband came from a different background, maybe one where they had servants!!! ;)
It's very appropriate. I personally would be a little ticked off if my guests did not help.
Well, I cant help but clean up after, if I go to someones house for dinner. I just have to help out. I'm told Its a compulsive disorder :-p
If you ask to help and they say OK, then...OK. But, make sure you ask first because you are the guest and they are the host. You wouldn't want to make them feel awkward.
yes it is, and normally appreciated too.