HOLIDAY EATING TIPS - Do you agree?!
HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1!. Avoid carrot sticks!. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit!. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately!. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls!.
2!. Drink as much eggnog as you can!. And quickly!. It's rare!.!. You cannot find it any other time of year but now!. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip!? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something!. It's a treat!. Enjoy it!. Have one for me!. Have two!. It's later than you think!. It's Christmas!
3!. If something comes with gravy, use it!. That's the whole point of gravy!. Gravy does not stand alone!. Pour it on!. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes!. Fill it with gravy!. Eat the volcano!. Repeat!.
4!. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk!. If it's skim, pass!. Why bother!? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission!.
5!. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating!. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free!. Lots of it!. Hello!?
6!. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's!. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do!. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog!.
7!. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge!. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention!. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes!. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again!.
8!. Same for pies!. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat!. Have a slice of each!. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin!. Always have three!. When else do you get to have more than one dessert!? Labor Day!?
9!. Did someone mention fruitcake!? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost!. I mean, have some standards!.
10!. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention!. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner!.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a great holiday season!
Bob Barker
There is another tip that I live by!. Jam the system in moderation!. Your body can only absorb so many calories at one time, so enjoy!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
1!. Avoid carrot sticks!. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit!. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately!. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls!.
2!. Drink as much eggnog as you can!. And quickly!. It's rare!.!. You cannot find it any other time of year but now!. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip!? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something!. It's a treat!. Enjoy it!. Have one for me!. Have two!. It's later than you think!. It's Christmas!
3!. If something comes with gravy, use it!. That's the whole point of gravy!. Gravy does not stand alone!. Pour it on!. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes!. Fill it with gravy!. Eat the volcano!. Repeat!.
4!. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk!. If it's skim, pass!. Why bother!? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission!.
5!. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating!. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free!. Lots of it!. Hello!?
6!. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's!. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do!. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog!.
7!. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge!. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention!. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes!. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again!.
8!. Same for pies!. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat!. Have a slice of each!. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin!. Always have three!. When else do you get to have more than one dessert!? Labor Day!?
9!. Did someone mention fruitcake!? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost!. I mean, have some standards!.
10!. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention!. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner!.
Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!" Have a great holiday season!
Bob Barker
There is another tip that I live by!. Jam the system in moderation!. Your body can only absorb so many calories at one time, so enjoy!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Answers:
I like the way you think!Www@FoodAQ@Com
the mashed potatoes need to be made w real butter and cream cheese also!.!.!.for the extra added touch!
too funny love it!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
too funny love it!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
1!. carrot sticks are so yummy, especially cooked
2!. eggnog is so gross and fattening!.
3!. gravy is yummy!.!.!.so i agree with you on that
4!. dont really care about mashed potatoes cuz we always use the instant
5!. i never eat snacks, nor should anyone else for that matter!.!.
6!. excercise is very helpful for your body so you should always excercise
7!. only take a few cookies, dont be a pig and take them all
8!. same with pie, leave some for others!.!.!.dont be a pig!!
9!. fruitcake is good, but not for all the time, its not for everyone!.!.
10!. dont follow tips from other people, do what you feel like doing =)Www@FoodAQ@Com
2!. eggnog is so gross and fattening!.
3!. gravy is yummy!.!.!.so i agree with you on that
4!. dont really care about mashed potatoes cuz we always use the instant
5!. i never eat snacks, nor should anyone else for that matter!.!.
6!. excercise is very helpful for your body so you should always excercise
7!. only take a few cookies, dont be a pig and take them all
8!. same with pie, leave some for others!.!.!.dont be a pig!!
9!. fruitcake is good, but not for all the time, its not for everyone!.!.
10!. dont follow tips from other people, do what you feel like doing =)Www@FoodAQ@Com
