Am I being rude?!
Am I being rude?
If I've invited somebodies children over for a "playdate" I feed them lunch during the lunch hour. If my daughers neighborhood friends come over to play I usually send them home for their lunch when meal time comes. Is it rude? Should I invite them to stay? Two in particular (ages 5 and 6) always ask to stay for lunch! In fact they always ask for food when they show up at anyones house! Sometimes I let them but when my husband is home for lunch I almost always ask them to leave so that we can have a small family lunch.
They are well fed and cared for children so it's not a case of them wanting to eat with us out of hunger or neglect! (Which I have experienced before.) I think it's just the excitement of somebody elses food.
Their mother constantly makes me feel like a "country hick" (unsophisticated) and I just wanted an outside opinion. (She has never questioned me about the lunch thing though.)
Answers:
well hon I'll say this i think you are kind to feed them in the past and i don't think that you are being rude to ask them to go home. i will say this however, what a thing looks like on the outside is quite the opposite on the inside, your meals might be tastier, like you say it could be the novelty of someone else's food or they see you and your home as a haven, i don't know how but children seem to have this internal radar for good people, i suggest if you can, continue to feed them and don't turn them away to often, you are also teaching your kids in an indirect way about how to treat people. i wish more persons were like you, all the best.
It's not your job to feed them. They probably dont get enought attention at home and are looking for you to provide the attention and the reward of food. Send them home.
If kids come over uninvited then, it is up to you. However, if you have plenty of food then you can elect for them to stay, or not.
YEP, your being somewhat rude. It doesn't make any sense. Feed the kids. If it bothers you that much don't have them over any more.
Well, I think you're handling the situation quiet well myself. It's not you that is being rude but it's the children who are asking to stay for lunch all the time. That puts you in a very difficult situation.
I don't even have children at home anymore and my neighbors 6 year old is constantly asking to come to my house. I don't know why. But I really feel as if I am being put on the spot. And her mother does nothing to discourage this.
I don't know how you could handle the situation any better. There is certainly nothing wrong with you wanting to enjoy a lunch with your family when your husband is at home.
Wish you were my neighbor!lol
Have A Good Day!
I don't think it's rude. Sometimes it might be okay and other times it may not.
I would get with the other parents and find out if there is anything they don't want their children to eat. (an icecream to an unknown diabetic would be devistating). They might even give up a box of goldfish or make a bag lunch for those days that they visit.
The "country hick" part sounds like a projection issue. They want to project their lifestyle onto someone else so they appear to be above the norm.
Jeff Foxworthy defines a redneck as someone with a glorious absence of sophistication, and if you claim you dont have it then you know or are related to someone who does.
I don't think you are being rude. I would suggest letting them stay once in a while, but not to often. When you do choose to let them stay, make sure to call their mother and ask if it's ok for her kids to eat lunch at your house. Look at it this way, their mother probably cooked lunch for them at their house. If they eat at your house then when they get home they won't want their mother's food. Or worse they'll eat again and that is unheathly.
PS: Stop comparing yourself with other people. She can't make you feel anything unless you let her. So don't let her! :)
Hope it helps :)
I truly dont think its rude if they always do it. But i would say every once in a while you could fix them a sandwich or something.
Invite them to stay and at the same time teach your children the value of hospitality and sharing.
Eating is a sociable experience - no fun eating alone - food just doesn't taste that good.
You are right, children are curious and "somebody Else's" food can taste oh so good.
It is not clear why the mother makes you feel unsophisticated.
Do not worry about that.
Be yourself, love your children (as is obvious) and include their friends in your family circle.
When they grow up you will be happy if the friends feels welcome to visit instead of you not knowing where your children and friends find themselves.
GOOD GOING. You seem a wonderful, caring parent.
I kinda think it is on the rude side. I know what you mean when they just showing up for lunch and ask for food but if they came over early like around 10 or so and then it got to 12 then they ask then I don't think so. Kids are kids and they really don't know better and they probably don't really understand about wearing out their welcome, that's up to the parents to teach them this. If this is a major problem why don't you tell their parents and let them know they are just going around asking for food, I am sure the parents would be really embarrassed that their little angels are doing this.
WEl, if they weren't invited, then I dont think you have any responsibility to feed them.
I think the other mother is being rude for expecting you to watch and feed both her kids, free of charge!! It is also teaching her kids to be rather impolite to always ask for food from some one else's house!!
What I do when I talk to a parent about their son or daughter coming over is bring up the lunch/dinner issue right off the bat. Ask them to feed them before coming over or ask them if the child can eat with you. Lay out your rules ahead of time. It is your house. You make the rules. Kids are kids. Sometimes other adults have to explain things to them if their parents aren't "socially correct" about the matter. If you are polite about it, then No--you're not being rude. It's your food, after all.
Actually, I think it's rude to feed kids without first clearing it with their parents. Maybe their mom has already prepared a meal for them and will be mad when they come home full. Or maybe they have some weird allergies and may pass out on your kitchen floor. I would NEVER feed any child without first getting express permission from their parents.
That said, it is NOT your job to feed every child that comes running. If you want to be nice and include them, first call their mom and ASK.
I don't think it is rude so much. However, how lucky you are to have this influence over any child. FEED the babies. If they aren't hungry or needing attention, they wouldn't ask. Find out if it is food or a hug that they need and provide it. Come on mom. You could always take the other answers advice and ask about special food requirements - at least then it opens up a conversation with the other mom about them being at your house at lunch time. Use some tact with her, but let her know. But by all means, it is your responsibility as a caring adult to take care of any child that happens to be in your path.
Are you being rude? Of course not! The ones that are rude are the parents that expect you to provide free day care..with a lunch provided.I'd like to relate an experience i had when my children were growing up. We had a pool in our yard which became a magnet for the neighborhood children. I didn't mind (the extra responsibility ) until like you, I started to feel put upon.I told told one child she had to go home. She said she couldn't because this was the time her mother TOOK A NAP!
yes you should of fed them...its rude....they were your guest and as our manners go we are suppose to make them comfy
No, you are not being rude. You have your own family to feed. Like you said. If it was a matter of them going hungry that would be a different story. But if they are well fed and taken care of than it's not your responsibility to feed them. If they want to come over and play, tell them to bring a snack for them selves next time. See how that goes over.