Just a general question about common courtesy?!
Just a general question about common courtesy?
I am planning an event and sent out save the date cards in march. the invitations went out the first week in june. i included a self addressed stamped envelope with the invite and also a return card to either RSVP OR REGRET. do you think it is rude to not return anything when i had asked to say yeah or nay? i invited 253 people and only recieved about 62 responses either way. do you think this is rude or the way our society is going today?
Additional Details11 months ago
i sent the RSVP/REGRET out the first week in june. I asked to please RSVP/REGRET by July 21st. The event is this weekend. I realize that people are busy... I am raising 1yr old twins for goodness sake! I know what RSVP is, but I had asked them to REGRET also.
Answers:
11 months ago
i sent the RSVP/REGRET out the first week in june. I asked to please RSVP/REGRET by July 21st. The event is this weekend. I realize that people are busy... I am raising 1yr old twins for goodness sake! I know what RSVP is, but I had asked them to REGRET also.
Yes it is very rude, there is a reason people like yourself plan out things as you have done.
Those four little letters can cause so much confusion.
For one thing, it's French.
What does "repondez s'il vous plait" really mean? Let's break it down.
The "R" stands for "respond." Whoever sent it to you requires a response. You're lucky to be invited - show some class and get back to this person ASAP.
The host is spending money on food, a party room, entertainment and lots of other goodies. A miscount can mean disaster - not for the caterer, who gets paid anyway, but for the host, who gets stuck with an outrageous bill and then doesn't get to take any of the leftovers home.
The "S" stands for "if you please," meaning: Show some courtesy. There are two choices in your response: yes or no. There is no room for "maybe" as in "if my boyfriend is in town or if I get off work in time" ... "if the free makeover I'm getting at Nordstrom's goes well" ... "if the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars."
It's like a question from a criminal attorney: it requires a yes or no answer, no squigglin'.
R.S.V.P. rules
The Party Gal: Respond promptly, politely and firmly to invitations, for host's sake!
Source(s):
http://www.squeezeoc.com/squeezeoc/stayi...
it is rude, inconsiderate and the way society is going.
It is rude to not return the cards, however I have come to realize a lot of people no longer understand the purpose or how to work RSVP cards. The only thing to do is call on the rest so you know who is coming and who isn't.
RSVP is supposed to be for those that want to come. You always assume that those that do not repsond are not coming.
It's very rude, especially since you included addressed and stamped return envelopes!
rude as hell if u sent them a respond card to send back.
I think it's VERY rude. There is no excuse not to reply under these circumstances.
It's depressing, isn't it?
It may not be rude, but sweetie, a lot of people have other things in mind and might have forgotten about the return envelope. Do you pay your bills right when you get them out of the mailbox, or do you sometimes say, damn i gotta pay this bill. May be the same concept here, they might have looked at the letter but didn't wanna reply there and then, after a while they forgot that you had a reply envelope in there. Don't take it to heart.
I think it's a whole lot of both....truly sad though... I hope your event turns out well regardless
Quite rude and annoying because that means you will have to call all these people to find out if they are coming or not. Then you got those that say they aren't coming and then they show up or those that say they are and then they don't. That has happened to our company when they host events. It is annoying.
invite me, ill show up
yeah, i think it is rude. i mean, people are so busy they cant even fill out something so simple and already with postage. here is an idea, next time, say rsvp by such and such date. give them are a really long time to rsvp. by then, if they havent, assume they are not coming, and make plans for the amount of people that did respond. if they respond after this date, tell them, sorry, i have alreay booked the place, and our accomadations are for a certain amount of people. that is why i had asked for a rsvp by this date.
yes it is rude and inconsider! and the sad thing is there is nothing you can do. poeple today just don't care enough!
I've heard of lots of people having this experience and it's rude, but it's the way things are going. I bet you'd have better response if you emailed these folks to say, "Hey! I gotta plan this thing, are you coming or not?" then they can just hit reply and they've taken care of it. Good luck with your event.
I think it's both. It is rude and will always be rude. It's also the way our society is today. Society is all about "me, me, me" nowadays. There are the chose few, your 62 for example, that still have integrity when it comes to social graces. Because of this universal faux pas, however, the Social Gods that be have allowed, now, people like you and I to make calls a few days before to confirm. We are now allowed to call and say, "I never received an RSVP from you guys and was just trying to get a final headcount." Good luck. I'm getting married in March - not looking forward to the headcount.
People sometimes get too busy and let things slide. I think it is rude not to respond to an invite ,but I would'nt cross thm off your next party list, it could have been an oversight.
Actually, so much crap is passed through the post these days that a lot goes straight into the recycling bin unopened. We only bother with post from those we know.
I think "rude" is probably a bit harsh of a word, but it IS unthoughtful. People request RSVP for a reason, and since you were kind enough to invite them, they should show you the courtesy.
But do remember that they have busy lives, too. While they were unthoughtful, it certainly wasn't a brazen frontal assault on you. They just didn't get around to it. So remember to show grace in forgiving them their absentmindedness!
I think that in todays busy society it is hard for some people to plan ahead long term. They probably do not know if they will be attending until the day of the event.
Either way I would still think that the considerate thing to do would be to respond. I have planned events myself where I invited 100 people, only got 30 responses and then 70 people show up.
It used to be rude but now a days inaction means 'yes '.
just like no phone calls means ' all' fine'
you could also send reminders on e-mail where the reply could be sent with an yes or a no.
Yes, it is inconsiderate. People don't care anymore to take the time to care. I bet you that a lot of the ones that did not answer will just show up. Kinda makes you want to send out notices to the ones that did not respond an invitation not to show up. It is hard when planning something that big since everything is costly these days. If you have show-ups that did not respond you may not have enough food and drink for them. Then if you buy enough in case they do wonder in you could have too much if they don't. You did the right thing. The ones that did not get back with did the wrong thing. Good luck with your event. I would never commit myself to something so large. I hope someone is helping you with this.
I think you've answered your own question in the title. Common and Courtesy. Out of the 253 you invited only 62 appear courteous. The rest are just plain common. Who do you really want at your event.
If you felt really strongly about this, maybe you could have written back to the common ones who didn't reply and inform that as they didn't respond, you have understood that as a regret and that it is a shame because you would have liked to have seen them. Imagine their guilt trip when you let them know their lack of response has meant their invitation has been given to another!
Remember - for your next event - you'll only need 62 invites!
That is rude. Everyone should have answered you.
Thats a lot of people and with the twins be glad that they are not all coming... but yes they are wasting stamps and it does not take much energy to check yes or no and put it in the mailbox. I would make a note of those that did and did not and be more selective of the people you invite next time.
I think it is VERY rude. I just recently had a party. And out of the 70+ people I invited, I only got about 30 responses. People think that RSVP means to just call the person if you're going....it also means to call if you're NOT going!
Actually, RSVP means "Please respond" (it's the initials for the French, which I won't attempt to spell). That means they should be in contact either way. To not respond is, of course, very rude.
Having said that, I believe most people who don't respond aren't being intentionally rude. They've never been taught the proper way to respond to an invitation. I've had otherwise intelligent, courteous, well-informed adults tell me either "I was coming, so I didn't think I needed to let you know," and "I couldn't come, so I didn't think I needed to let you know."
Unfortunately, I'm afraid this is the direction our society is headed.
It is very rude and there is no excuse for it. I don't care if they put it aside and forgot. Society is definitely heading this direction. It is interesting that you included self-addressed stamped envelopes; that practice was actually started to solve this problem. I suppose people didn't want to pay to send the card back. Now people have gotten too lazy to return them even though you did most of the work. Most people who do this are people who have never hosted a large party--at least not a nice one.
I had a friend who, to prevent this problem, left the address of the party off of her shower invitations so that no one COULD come who didn't take the trouble to call her. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but it definitely solved the problem.
Completely rude. I'm going through the same thing myself. Out of 40 invites only 8 have responded by the date of August 1. Looks like first thing August 2 I'll be making some phone calls...
People have no manners anymore. Yes, they are being rude.
They should not have even needed instructions or a response card. Polite people should know that an invitation always requires a response.
I think the country needs nationally televised public service announcements on manners and etiquette.
absolutly yes. If these people are your friends than they would return it promply. But i have noticed the lack of respect a lot of people especialy the younger sector. We have become a "ME" society.