What is the proper etiquette?!
What is the proper etiquette?
My boyfriend's bday is this month, he is turning 30. For his bday I would really like to throw him a surprise birthday dinner and invite alot of his family. I want to make sure Im not getting in over my head before I do this so I need some help. If Im inviting everyone for the party, am I responsible for everyone's tab? If not, is a place that is around $10 a plate too expensive to expect everyone to come? I would really appreciate your input :)
Additional Details11 months ago
I would love to have it at my place but I dont have much room. I do have a huge backyard but here in Oklahoma its been up in the 100 degrees area and I dont have any seating for an outdoor BBQ.
Answers:
11 months ago
I would love to have it at my place but I dont have much room. I do have a huge backyard but here in Oklahoma its been up in the 100 degrees area and I dont have any seating for an outdoor BBQ.
I don't think you are resposible for the tab. If I was invited to a party at the restaurant I would not expect to have my meal paid for. I think $10 a plate is reasonable.
I don't think charging people to come to a party is appropriate. Perhaps you can ask several guests to bring something instead.
If you invite people, it is your responsiblity to pay. If you can't afford it, do something less expensive.
If you are going to through it at a restaraunt $10 a person is sensible. Of course you have to take into consideration the people you are inviting. Are they cheapskates? $10 is fair in most cases. They have to eat anyway.
I don't think it is wrong to ask them to pay for theirs. Just say, "We are going out to eat for _____'s birthday. He does not know about it so don't tell him. I would like for you to come. It will be at ____ o clock on ________." They should know the place, assuming it's local and they are local. Then they can decide if they want to come or not.
In partys I'm invited to I don't expect to pay for my meal, so u better save up or u should only invite the people u r close to.
$10 is not too bad if you're from a middle class family. I don't normally go to that kind of restaurants, but I wouldn't mind eating at a place like that for special occasions.
with your invitation, say that you would be more than gald if they payed for their own meals. that, or say you'll pay for the drinks.
if your friends expect you to pay for them, then invite few of them.
hope your boo enjoys his day, and good luck!
To cut down costs, you could always have a surprise 'potluck' party -- have every guest bring a dish for the Birthday Boy -- since they will be his relatives, they should know some of his favorite dishes. That way, you can use the extra money for the "Over the Hill" decoration!!!
you don't really have to pick the tab for everyone. But you will have to specify that at the time you extend the invitation otherwise it is implied that you will be taking care of it. $10 a plate is very reasonable unless you are inviting some homeless and trailer trash
If I were you, I would contact his friends and relatives and find out if they would like to attend the dinner. Explain to them that you can't afford to pay for the entire party yourself, and the average cost of the meals are around $10. Obviously, you should pay for the birthday boy's meal. Try telling them that they don't need to bring a gift to the party, that you just would like to get everyone together.
If the first few don't think that it is a good idea, then throw the party at your home, and ask folks to bring a dish to pass. It is always better to check, than to offend.
Unless you tell everyone in advance that they must pay for
their own dinner, you pay ,because you did the inviting.
Try to give him a swimming party. You don't have to pay for a $ 10.00 plate just use a disposable or a paper plate. After all, it's not the place or how much you have to spend for him but the people that will make his birthday happier.
I don't know what these other people are talking about but when I go out for someone's birthday celebration I pay my own bill and throw in money for the birthday person. If I am invited to their home I bring a bottle of wine or ask if I should bring a dish of food. This is a birthday party not a wedding.
my parents threw a party for me when i graduated and paid for the meal. however, no menus were handed out and the restraunt brought out food that we had ordered before hand the guests paid for their own alcohol and anything they ordered on their own. I dont think its wrong to expect people to pay for their own meals though. If i were you i would consider picking up his parents tab.
Yeah, you should really have a backyard BBQ and tell everyone to bring a dish.
I did the "invite with stipulations for people to pay" and it was a disaster. Lots of people came, but ONE of the guests did much to ruin the day by complaining about the food (not the fact they had to pay) It's only takes one pissy wet blanket to ruin the fun.
Are you sure your boyfriend wants this? My wife did this for my 40th and I hated it it. I had the whole weekend worked out with a trip up my favourite mountain and a stay at the peak.
It was all blown because I had to sit in some stupid pub with a stupid badge on explaining how old I was and a bunch of relatives half of whom I didn't want to see and the other half of whom I didn't want to be with! It was a nightmare! At least I remember it I suppose?
The good thing about it was that it was the last time my wife will ever spring a surprise party on me again because I've told her next time I'm definitely going up the mountain!
You could say soemthing like "We'll be at Chili's on Saturday at about 8 if y'all wantt to stop by adn wish Herman a happy birthday!" Make it clear you are not inviting them to "join you" for supper, for drinks or else YOU are responsible for their tabs.
Why not just have a get-together at home? Provide some food to snack on and say BYOB.
If you are having a party catered at your house or somewhere then you shouldn't ask people to pay. If you are having a dinner party where you are doing the cooking then ask people to bring food. Not everyone, just those closet to you like good friends, mother or sisters. This will probably be the cheapest way. If you go to the restaurant and have food pre order such as a buffet type thing then some people may feel as if they don't have to pay. If it's just a "hey come to such and such on Friday for John's birthday" then no you are not expected to pay
I just had a b'day party for my daughter, and we invited a lot of her friends. We rented a Recreation Center through the Parks Department. It was only $150 to rent and it had a big area with tables and chairs as well as a kitchen with fridge and stove. I am sure the Dept of Parks and Rec in your area have similar facilities to rent.
I really don't think people should have to pay to come to the party.
A common practice when having a party at a restaurant is to have something along the line of "entrees range from $8-$24"
I have received many invitations with similar wording, which lets me know that I will be paying for my meal.
Hmm... I would say it would probably be better if you paid since you're inviting everyone. Then again I'm sure they wouldn't mind paying 10$ a plate as long as they are there with their family to celebrate a relatives birthday.