30th Birthday death theme party!?!
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That sounds creepy. You should be embracing life and not death.
Make up a game...call it "Dead Ringer">>then borrow the concept like from the old game Concentration: where you hide duplicates of objects (or even cards) and people take turns turning only 2 random things at at time. When someone makes a "match...a Dead Ringer", they get points.
Or use the Dead Ringer name to make your own toss a ring around bottles game (fill liter bottles with sand or kitty litter on bottom, put cap on, paint bottles black with skull and crossbones)
Mark the bar area "S - P- I - R-I-T-S" with Skull and Crossbones
Play game where people have to list as many song titles or movies or famous sayings with the word "Dead" or "Death" in them (you can google to get lists)
Make a Graveyard Cake...use Milano cookies for tombstones...frost them dark...crumble crushed Oreos for dirt on the cake..add some other things.
Make invites to look like Obituary
Drape all the windows and mirrors in dark cloths....yet have some showing for effect...paint old mirror rims black...see this thread for pics of ideas: you may find use for some of them>>
http://www.halloweenforum.com/party-idea…
You can try to look up Frances Bean Cobain's Sweet 16. She had a suicide theme, you might be able to find some related activities.
Also you could have Gravestone name cards to put on the tables, that say where people will sit.
Ex: Steve's seat will be at the chair with the paper gravestone that says "steve". Sorry im not good at explaining things.
And you could also try looking up halloween activities, a lot of halloween activities are related to death.