should my girlfriend accept a stag night invitation?!
We are both very considerate to each others feelings, we both get chatted up a lot as two average looking successful and happy people often do, none of this is an issue, however, call me old fashioned but I am not at all comfortable to the fact that my girlfriend is planning to attend a male stag night in a few months, she thinks its cool to be invited as a girl (one of the lads) but I am not so sure, while I do trust her she could end up in a compromising situation. Also stag nights are for blokes, hen parties are for girls. I also have an insight as to what goes on at such parties as a friend of mine started a stag/hen weekend party company and I have heard some horror stories of what happens at such parties, his comments were " the men can be quite out of order, and the girls are no better" is it me being old fashioned and insecure or am I being taken for a ride? if i was invited to a hen party she would probably not like it at all. honest and balanced opinions welcome.
Answers:
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She's chosen you, she's with you, She knows the pain of infidelity. I doubt very much that she's going with any other motive in mind than to have a great night out. You obviously have no problems with her being good mates with other men (yes, I do think platonic friendships are possible), and I'm sure that her male friend wouldn't have asked her along if he thought that she would be in any danger.
However, have you talked to her about it? I'm sure that she'll be happy that you're concerned for her, and perhaps you can come to some arrangements. Like you could pick her up at a certain time and place, or you can phone her at prearranged times to make sure she's ok.
Not all stag and hen nights are wild debauched parties. I had a bloke at my hen night (he was my bridesmaid - 6'4" and built like the proverbial outhouse). He was probably a bit disappointed that he managed to end the night with his dignity intact, by hey, that's life.
Guys night out should be for just the guys as should a girl's night out for them. If she really wants to go & socialize, then there should be a mixed group going, not just one chick with a bunch of guys.
Southern girl.
if you feel threatened by the other males, then don't let her join the party. as simple as that! ;)
You can feel as bad about it as you wish, but there is not really anything you can do about it. If the girl wants to go it's up to her.
It's a big bad world out there. If you can't trust the girl in this situation, there's always going to be opportunities.
On the other hand, it's difficult to know, from what you say, how close your relationship is. If you were married it would be a bit insensitive for a wife to go on a stag night, or a husband on a hen night.
So I'd say the right answer is somewhere in between.
It's great that you sound so comfortable and secure in your relationship (although FYI her being sexually assaulted I am sure is an issue.)
What do you imagine is going to happen at this stag weekend? When you say 'compromising situation' what do you mean?
If you trust her, and trust her judgement then this is a non-issue. I wouldn't mind if my partner went on a hen night because I trust him. If she is invited to do something that she feels would be inappropriate I am sure she will say no.
You could even argue it is better for her to go to a stag night where there may be female strippers and encouragement to be with a woman (which assuming she is straight she wouldn't do), then go a hen night where there will be male strippers and encouragement to be with a man.
If you are still feeling uncomfortable I would suggest you raise this honestly with her so she knows how you feel.
It sounds to me as if you don't trust her. She will probably be better going with guys to a stag night rather than girls on a hen party - those are worse! I am sure she will be fine and you have nothing to worry about. I think the horror stories you have heard are also not helping you as of course you are going to think the worst. Is there any way you could also go to this stag party? That way you will feel a lot better and the both of you can enjoy the night out. Good luck!
I'm wondering why you are not invited too.
Afterall, you would think that the partygoers would be invited to the wedding, and if she is invited to the wedding, then you should be invited as her partner.
If she has not been invited to the wedding, then perhaps she is not that close a friend of the stag. In which case, I'm not sure why she is going to go to it.
I would have thought that the other guys on the stag night would find a woman to be a bit of a handbrake. But then not all stag doos are that kind of thing.
Why don't you try to get an invite too. If you can't then why not?