Is this normal when invited to a party?!
Is this normal when invited to a party?
We were invited to a Halloween party that a friend of my husband and his girlfriend are having at their house. We never see or hang out with these people so I was kind of shocked we got an invite, but I digress. So,on the invite it tells me what type of alcohol I am supposed to bring...it says I am assigned to bring that. First of all, don't people get to rsvp? It sort of assumed we would be there and that we'd bring some expensive vodka. We don't even drink so what makes these wack-jobs think I'm going to buy a $30 bottle of vodka and come to their, obviously centered around drinking, party? I guess I should call and say we won't be making it? Is this weird or normal behavior for parties? and they know we are not drinkers by the way. We've known this guy since high school, my husband and I are 23 and have a 2 year old son...we married as high school sweethearts 3 years ago (for a little background).
Answers: I've been to parties where it's a BYOB type of thing but never have I been asked to buy a specific type of booze. It sounds too forced, actually ballsy. I would never ask someone to do that. I wouldn't want to go if I were you. If you do go don't bring the vodka, you don't even drink! Why should you supply someone else's night of debauchery. This is a friend from high school but maybe he should grow up. If he wants something specific then he can go buy it himself. It's just plain rude. Yes, it's presumptious. Call and politely decline. It doesn't sound like a very classy thing to do . . . unless it was prearranged with a small group of people that everyone would contribute. Just let them know you're not going to make it. No need to offer excuses. Yeah it is kind of weird. I've been invited to parties that specify BYOB, but YOU get to choose what to bring and obviously if iced tea is your preference over alcohol, you'd bring a soft drink. I'd call and say you can't make it......but I guess if you did go, you could technically bring any kind of beverage you wanted, and if you're questioned, just say you didn't have time to go to the liquor store. No, that's not normal. That's very tacky. If you want to go, call and tell them that you don't drink, but would be happy to bring some soft drinks that you can enjoy and share. The only kind of party where you're asked to bring something is a pot luck, and then you are just assigned a category (i.e. salad, dessert). it is normal from immature substance abusers to act this way.....there are thousands of these kids on this site.... That's way out of line. After hearing all of that, I definitely would turn down the invitation. I'd say they have some nerve asking non-drinkers to bring alcohol, and an expensive brand no less. I would politely decline. Now you could politely decline with the reason being that you don't drink so bringing alcohol didn't seem right, or you could just politely decline, thanking them for the invite, but you have plans. The latter would be my choice of RSVP (even though they didn't ask for one, which is, yes, very strange). An RSVP should always be encouraged. Maybe it doesn't matter to them how many people are coming. Maybe they are suppying absolutely nothing so they don't have to plan to have enough of anything for a certain amount of people. Certainly a strange kind of invite. I would kindly tell them that we would be unable to attend their party.
Think about what you are going to say.
practice it and they call as soon as possible. I would just call and nicely decline. Let them know since it's Halloween and you have a child, you are going to spend the holiday with your child.
On a more serious note of class and manners, I feel that is extremely rude to assume you are coming and requiring you to bring a drink. If you do decide to attend the party, call to RSVP and let them know that you do not drink and offer to bring non-alcoholic beverages to the party that everyone can enjoy. With that said, it seems like you don't hang out with them for a reason. That is very tactless and down-right rude to assume anything like that.
Have fun if you decide to go to the party. Don't let a moment of ill-thought manners ruin an evening out. If you don't, I hope you have a blast with your kid. I've never heard of anything like that, it really sounds somewhat rude, if you ask me.
Sometimes people say,"we're having beer and wine, and if you want anything harder, you can bring it." However, I've never heard of assigning people liquor to bring. Especially since they know you are not drinkers, crude and rude. Well .... that is a new one! They sound like the sort of people who use any holiday, event, excuse to have a party ... which in their minds grants them permission to get drunk.
Since there was no mention of RSVP on the invitation, you are not obligated to tell them you aren't attending.
If you prefer to RSVP out of courtesy, you certainly do not owe them an explanation. It was not only weird,but obscenely rude! I would not attend a function that I was not comfortable with. Do phone them and decline. Far much better to be the person with respect and morals than being the *** they were. Totally tacky! I always decline invites like these. If you can't afford a party, why have one? (I don't mind the occasional BYOB when we are all hanging out and bbq'ing, but this invite is tacky.)
My 4 year old son just got invited to a classmate's b-day party. And yes, potluck for everyone! I don't even know these people. At this age, isn't it just cake and ice cream?!?!
At any rate, decline and do something fun! I sympathize with you as I don't drink either.