if you were on come dine with me ....?!

for a starter i would open with something light maybe like a salad with fresh avacado, gem lettuce, cherry tomatoes, croutons and poached chicken breast, maybe with a citrus dressing.
for mains i would do something extravagant but not too big, and simple flavours. a nice rib of beef is good. we buy in the forerib of beef, seal it in a smoking pan and then oven roast it at 200c until it is 55 degrees in the center which is a perfect medium rare. served with homeade chips, mash and maybe a bearnaise, which with a few practices is dead easy to do. if you want a good chip recipe all you have to do is get some maris pipers, peel and cut then blanch (cook in water) until they are almost mash, being very careful to keep them the same shape, the best way to keep the shape is to chill them right down, (perhaps freezing them before frying but you dont want the oil temp to go to down otherwise it will break up in the oil,) then fry them at 190c for as long as it takes to go golden brown. season with salt and then thats perfect.
for dessert i like the sound of a trio of desserts. think of three desserts that you can do effectively and then just downsize it.
finish with coffee and tea etc.

im a professional chef.

I would try to be polite to all the other competitors. I wouldn't mark someone down because I don't like a particular course even though it was cooked well and well presented.
I would serve figs with Camembert lightly melted under the grill for starters.
Main course: Roghan Gosht (lamb curry) cooked the day before and reheated so you get the flavour of the spices without the burn of the chili accompanied by a Bhindi Bhaji (Ladies fingers/okra), Basmati rice and some buttered naan bread for anyone who doesn't think they've had enough carbohydrates. I would also serve a raita (cucumber salad) and a selection of pickles, but I would warn the faint heated about the lime pickles.
For dessert I would serve a simple dish made from fifty/fifty quark and whipped cream into which I had put a selection of partially liquidised berries (raspberries, blackberries, blueberries) a shot of Cassis or raspberry liqueur and sugar to taste, placed in the fridge and decorated with a sprinkling of the aforesaid fruits just before bringing to the table.
I would probably accompany the meal with Australian wines. Probably rosé, because you don't want the wine to 'compete.' A good Australian demi-sec sparkling wine would go down well with the dessert.

Starter:
Lettuce Sandwiches - various sandwich fillings (from Tesco) would be put inside lettuce leaves, which would be wrapped to form a lettuce-style pancake.

Main:
Fried Chicken Delight
Basically, some nicely arranged chicken breasts purchased from KFC; garnished with sprigs of Thyme.

Dessert:
An Apple.

It's my house, my house party,. so if anyone complains I will go and get the shooter. Better yet, I will sit at the head of the table, motionless, with a 12-Gauge Remington on my lap while the guests eat my lovingly prepared meal in trembling fear.

Any sarky comments from the narrator and the little old lady, who is a basketweaver from Stoke, will get both barrells.

Ive always thought this =)

Starter:crab meat with mayo on oatmeal bread with rocket

Main: chicken curry with naan bread and egg fried rice

desert: my famous strawberry cheesecake

Absolutely all of them, although I'm not sure how I'll manage to have dessert as I'll be so full from the starter and main menu, all sounds delicious, plus I love Indian food and dessert

Since you're cooking or buying, I won't complain what the three courses would be.