indian food can you give me any tips please?!

I suggest (if you haven't already) you read a cookbook by Madhur Jafrey (though not her 'Curry Bible'), and get a feel for Indian food, as it really is. Learn about the techniques, and slowly you will see that in Indian food, less really is more. It is not all cream or heavy ghee dishes, and not all to do with lots of spice, or chillies.

Get to learn the techniques, and you will realize that many of the dishes you have heard of (and probably eaten) are using similar ingredients, but very different techniques. The example you give is a case in point, bhuna is a technique, a very useful one that needs a little practice to perfect, but once there, there is no looking back.
Good luck in you quest, I'm sure it will be rewarding in many ways.

40 years of cooking real Indian food.

Most Indian food is not fattening. You are probably eating the rich dishes from northern India that once used to be only available to the royals. (These dishes seem to be quite popular in the states for some reason).
You should invest in some good spices (whole if possible) and a spice grinder. Common spices are cumin, coriander, cardamom, cinnamon, anise, black peppercorns, black mustard seeds, (to name a few) and the all-spice mixture called garam masala (you can make your own or buy it pre-made. I use MDH brand garam masala that I buy from my local Indian grocery).
The stuff called curry powder that is sold in American grocery stores is not an Indian spice, not even close, so don't even bother with that one.
This may not answer your question directly, but hopefully it will broaden you to try to more types of delicious Indian dishes.

Family is Indian.

If you cook it yourself, you can always just lower the amounts of fats and calories used, although of course the foods may taste less fatty and possibly less buttery if you're used to lots of butter. Sometimes you can use lower-fat alternatives of the ingredients too, or substitute something else (applesauce or other fruit purees for half the oil/fat for example).

Check out some of these sites, videos, and books though for more ideas re lower-fat Indian recipes:
http://www.google.com/search?q=low+fat+n…
http://www.google.com/search?q=healthy+I…
http://www.google.com/search?q=healthy+I…
http://www.google.com/search?q=low+fat+I…
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_qu…
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_qu…
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?u… (check out the ones with the most review stars...also helps to read Customer Reviews)

i love indian food too but it's the fattening part that make them so good! Most gravy type dish had cream in them. My suggestion is eat healthy and on occasion treat yourself and splurge on untempered indian food.

spices that are commonly use in indian dishes are
ginger
garlic
onion
curry
tumeric
cumin
cardamom
cinnamon ..to name a few..

i suggest you buy ---------haryali chicken masala [ready made packets will be available in market or stores]

it tastes very good -----when it comes to haryali chicken -------i am the one who applies the masala-----marinates it -------and then fries it

good luck

so delicious, especially indian peanut.