Could someone tell me how I would go about cooking ASPARGUS?!

First rinse the spears break it off towards the end, it will snap off where it's supposed to. Then I put the spears into a small pan with about 1/2 cup of water and bring it to a slow simmer, then cook about 5 minutes and take if off the burner and put a lid on the pan. Remove the asparagus and I like mine served with mayo, others like to have it with melted butter. There is a short time between when the asparagus is cooked just right, (should be bright green) and if left too long in the pan it will turn darker and not be good. Hope this helps.

My own cooking experience.

You can cook asparagus in almost every kind of way that cooking can be accomplished:
...boiling
...steaming
...microwaving
...sauteing
...roasting
...grilling
...made into soups, casseroles, omelets and other egg dishes

And many of those methods often add some kind of flavoring too, like balsamic vinegar, oil, salt, garlic, etc., etc.

For loads of recipes, instructions, etc., check out some of the links here (you can even click on the word "Recipes" in the left bar for more and more pics:
http://www.google.com/search?q=recipes+a…
Also here: http://www.google.com/search?q=recipes+a…

You'll generally want to remove the tougher white ends of the asparagus before cooking. You can do that by just cutting off about the last 1/3 of the stalks (in a bundle, or separately), or you can bend each stalk till it breaks naturally where it begins not to be tough.
You can also cut them into small pieces or leave them as stalks when you cook.

The usual way is to steam it.
Break off the tough end of the stem.
Stand upright in a small pot, like a coffee pot.
Put in about 1-2" of water, bring to a boil.
Don't steam too long, it will go limp.

My two favorite ways to cook asparagus are:
1- coating in oil and grilling
2- slicing thinly with a potato peeler and putting the slices on top of a pizza

http://smittenkitchen.com/2010/05/shaved…

First learn to spell the word: ASPARAGUS. Clean them, cut off 1" off the bottom, and steam until tender. Serve with hollandaise.

Preheat the oven to 350. In a shallow pan line with asparagus spears. Drizzle with olive oil, then sprinkle parmesean cheese, garlic powder and breadcrumbs. Bake for 45 minutes. YUM-O~~!!

u can grill it.
coat it will olive oil and season it and put it on a grill and cook it

pan fried with butter and slices of almonds! season with salt and pepper!!

Steam it just so it's crisp tender.