Can you please help me with my essay?!
Sipping Cider
As my family left our car and hurried to our incredible autumn destination, I could smell the wonderful aromas of fresh cider, donuts, and roasted almonds. It was a chilly, windy day, but I didn’t care. The amazing scents lured me to the food stands of the Franklin cider mill.
Continued in details
Answers: It has to be 1 page long and descriptive. Here is mine:
Sipping Cider
As my family left our car and hurried to our incredible autumn destination, I could smell the wonderful aromas of fresh cider, donuts, and roasted almonds. It was a chilly, windy day, but I didn’t care. The amazing scents lured me to the food stands of the Franklin cider mill.
Continued in details
Sipping Cider
As my family left our car and hurried to our incredible autumn destination, I could smell the wonderfully exciting welcoming aroma of fresh cider, donuts, and roasted almonds. It was a crisp chilly, windy day, but I didn't care.As we walked through the busy old cidermill. The amazing scents lured me to the crowded ,quaint well displayed food stands of the Franklin cider mill. Hot and cold delicious cider, freshly made donuts, candied caramel apples ,arranged invitingly on their sticks, freshly brewed hot cocoa chocolately sweet smelling and inviting to warm the nip of the crisp autumn day...with choices of marshmallows and whip cream .Pies oh my so many choices...pumpkin,blueberry ,rhubarb custard and lemon to name a few all freshly baked and displayed sliced in their aluminum baking pans in an eye appealing view on a checkerboard covered table clothed table ready to serve and enjoy- the Franklin cider mill had all of the delicious autumn treats homemade , available to purchase and ready to eat. My parents bought two gallons of sweet cider, a dozen donuts(GO INTO DETAIL OF DONUTS AND FAVORS), and (how many?? )caramel apples (wrapped carefully)for our family(in see through plastic). The tangy taste of (hot,cold ?if it hot how it warmed you )cider and the sweet taste of cake (favor?)donuts created a delicious sensation in my mouth as I sat on an old oak wooden picnic table and watched the colorful leaves slowly fall on the color fading grass retreating for a long winters rest. After I enjoyed my cider and donuts, my family and I browsed the assortment of sizes of dark orange pumpkins waiting to be carved. My little brother, Adam, picked out the largest pumpkin in the basket to carve into a smiling jack-o-lantern. When we got to our car to leave, I felt a little sad that we were leaving but glad that we had such an excitingly fun time at the Franklin cider mill.
The cider mill is a fantastic setting (?)with scrumptious autumn cuisines, colorful leaves and cheerful, hungry ()people all smiling with their families and friends ...talk more about the expressions you got from the folks you met there...how they made you feel make your story and adventure come to life ...more excitement more pleasure...why you loved it so and why you would recommend it to other folks) . I can't wait to go again next f
also was there a process of the cider being made ? talk about that ...how it made you feel...and why ...talk more about the trees the landscape the changing of the seasons...
make me want to not only be there ...but there with you...
you are doing great but remember DETAILS about everything that caught your eye and feelings are the keys to telling the story
ok i gave it alot of thought and changed some things just for things for you to think about changing in your story...be interested to know how you got on and if i can be more help get me know...i truly hope you ace it ...best of luck.
add more verbs.. maybe describe the donuts that your mom got.. and if your typing it make the font .5 larger and double space it
It sounds good so far, but as you said, it won't pass for a page. Okay, so here is the essay. I added a paragraph. I hope you like it!:
Sipping Cider
As my family left our car and hurried to our incredible autumn destination, I could smell the wonderful aromas of fresh cider, donuts, and roasted almonds. It was a chilly, windy day, but I didn’t care. The amazing scents lured me to the food stands of the Franklin cider mill.
Cider, donuts, caramel apples, hot cocoa, pies- the Franklin cider mill had all of the delicious autumn treats made and ready to eat. My parents bought two gallons of cider, a dozen donuts, and caramel apples for our family. The tangy taste of cider and the sweet taste of cake donuts created a delicious sensation in my mouth as I sat on the oak wooden picnic tables and watched the colored leaves slowly fall on the thick grass.
The scenery was amazing. There were colorful leaves all around. The wooden food stands were surrounded by people seated at oak picnic tables enjoying their delicious food. The people were clad in bright colors- red, orange, and green.
After I enjoyed my cider and donuts, my family and I browsed the assortment of dark orange pumpkins waiting to be carved. My little brother, Adam, picked out the largest pumpkin in the basket to carve into a smiling jack-o-lantern. When we got to our car to leave, I was unhappy that we were leaving but glad that we had such an exciting time at the Franklin cider mill.
The cider mill is a fantastic setting with scrumptious autumn cuisines, colorful leaves and cheerful, hungry people. I can’t wait to go again next fall!
P.S. I like your title. It's cool!
I hope I helped! :) ?