So, you all want to be celebrity chefs do you?!
Waving at a posse of toothless, gurning fishermen in Padstow as they bobbed about on foamy waves in a small fishing vessel on the sea, they were hollering something awful and wildly waving their arms about!.
Deuced cheerful lot I thought, but then I realized they were shouting warnings at me!. I spun swift as a hare on my heels to see with horror
that Rick Stein was behind me!
Transfixed and frozen as if held in check by Medusa, I trembled as he spoke,
"I walk along this beach every day!." he croons!. I omitted a guttural reply, I could see the fishermen shaking their heads and weeping as they realized they could do nothing to help me!.
"Yes, it's beautiful at this time of the morning, I walk along, breathe in the air and collect shellfish for my restaurant!." He cast a hairy fairie hand sweeping the view!. "It's wonderful! Here I get the freshest fish for all my dishes, the fishermen still get their fish the same way as they have for centuries!. Oh, how I love Cornwall!."
Oh the horror! I thought, the horror!
A bloodcurdling scream shot through my fogged senses and saw the fishermen pointing to my left!. With an effort I slowly turned and nearly quacked out a slippery Otter when I saw Gary Rhodes ambling towards me arms outstretched in that ingratiating matey way of his, with his nob-head spiky hair-do, eyes twinkling, he too stopped to gush out chef talk!.
"Look at this!" He holds up a sea bream!. "Isn't this beautiful!? Just this minute caught, I'm going to debone it and pan fry this with a dill and butter sauce, with a hint of lime zest!."
"Lime zest!? Instead of lemon!? That sounds wonderful!" Sings Rick Stein!.
Gary Rhodes twirls and exclaims "It is Rick! It is wonderful!" As they both bubbled out more cuisine verbose smatterings with a zeal that bordered on satanic, wishy, mindlessly middleclass and shrill-like boring drones!.
Here was my cue, I shook off the hypnotist's spell from my befuddled mind and turned to see the fishermen jump out of their fishing boat!
"By Jove! What now!?" I shouted as I ran to see if I could be of assistance!.
Alas, it was too late as I stopped firmly in my tracks!.
At the stern of the forlorn boat, Jamie Oliver's head came to view, his wet beaming spaz-ersed face flopping open and shut like a Guppy fish, he scrambled into the boat with a wet flop, and started smelling the catch!.
"Lavverly!" I could hear him say!.
"Cor Blimey! Pukka, yeah!. !. innit!?"
The horror! The horror! I muttered, and went to shake off the morning's events with a few imbibes of my brandy flask!.
SO! If anyone wants to step out of the kitchen and sully this great Nation with even more boring, has been, "amaaaaaazing" personalities, think again!. Trust me, you cook food!. So stay in the bloody kitchen! Exception to the rule of course go to Two Fat Ladies, Two Hairy Bikers and Keith Floyd!. The rest, go away!. You are just!. !. !. !. !. !. an off shoot of banal, bored American Housewife reality TV!. Bummer huh!?Www@FoodAQ@Com
Deuced cheerful lot I thought, but then I realized they were shouting warnings at me!. I spun swift as a hare on my heels to see with horror
that Rick Stein was behind me!
Transfixed and frozen as if held in check by Medusa, I trembled as he spoke,
"I walk along this beach every day!." he croons!. I omitted a guttural reply, I could see the fishermen shaking their heads and weeping as they realized they could do nothing to help me!.
"Yes, it's beautiful at this time of the morning, I walk along, breathe in the air and collect shellfish for my restaurant!." He cast a hairy fairie hand sweeping the view!. "It's wonderful! Here I get the freshest fish for all my dishes, the fishermen still get their fish the same way as they have for centuries!. Oh, how I love Cornwall!."
Oh the horror! I thought, the horror!
A bloodcurdling scream shot through my fogged senses and saw the fishermen pointing to my left!. With an effort I slowly turned and nearly quacked out a slippery Otter when I saw Gary Rhodes ambling towards me arms outstretched in that ingratiating matey way of his, with his nob-head spiky hair-do, eyes twinkling, he too stopped to gush out chef talk!.
"Look at this!" He holds up a sea bream!. "Isn't this beautiful!? Just this minute caught, I'm going to debone it and pan fry this with a dill and butter sauce, with a hint of lime zest!."
"Lime zest!? Instead of lemon!? That sounds wonderful!" Sings Rick Stein!.
Gary Rhodes twirls and exclaims "It is Rick! It is wonderful!" As they both bubbled out more cuisine verbose smatterings with a zeal that bordered on satanic, wishy, mindlessly middleclass and shrill-like boring drones!.
Here was my cue, I shook off the hypnotist's spell from my befuddled mind and turned to see the fishermen jump out of their fishing boat!
"By Jove! What now!?" I shouted as I ran to see if I could be of assistance!.
Alas, it was too late as I stopped firmly in my tracks!.
At the stern of the forlorn boat, Jamie Oliver's head came to view, his wet beaming spaz-ersed face flopping open and shut like a Guppy fish, he scrambled into the boat with a wet flop, and started smelling the catch!.
"Lavverly!" I could hear him say!.
"Cor Blimey! Pukka, yeah!. !. innit!?"
The horror! The horror! I muttered, and went to shake off the morning's events with a few imbibes of my brandy flask!.
SO! If anyone wants to step out of the kitchen and sully this great Nation with even more boring, has been, "amaaaaaazing" personalities, think again!. Trust me, you cook food!. So stay in the bloody kitchen! Exception to the rule of course go to Two Fat Ladies, Two Hairy Bikers and Keith Floyd!. The rest, go away!. You are just!. !. !. !. !. !. an off shoot of banal, bored American Housewife reality TV!. Bummer huh!?Www@FoodAQ@Com
Answers:
You forgot that every single on of them is "passionate about food", honestly they should just stop preaching bunch of self-rightous overrated muppets!.
Although granted Keith Floyd is very funny (and drunk)!.
EDIT: No he shouldn't that's my point!. I'm passionate about DNA profiling but I don't think that's going to make me famous either!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Although granted Keith Floyd is very funny (and drunk)!.
EDIT: No he shouldn't that's my point!. I'm passionate about DNA profiling but I don't think that's going to make me famous either!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I will answer your initial question, my answer is NO!. Couldn't be bothered to read the rant you decided to go on after the question!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
no i dont so i didnt bother reading that pish! Www@FoodAQ@Com
Call me old fashioned or plain dull, but more like I know the food tastes good and is affordable!. I mean more traditional foods!.!.!. what ever happened to
A right fry up-- egg, bacon, beans toast of a morning alternately tea or coffee and something light!.!.!.
Ploughman's lunch!.!.!.!.
And meat and two veg for supper (back when "dinners" were for posh sorts)!.!.!.
Fish and chips were something no one though would kill them early!.!.!.
Me wondereth!.
All that aside, I do like good food and will try different things but blast, celebrity chefs often cooking food a good many can't afford and acting like food gods would invoke a right telling off from my gran, or a gob smack if she could have got her hands on them!.
I don't think she would have been caught dead watching that lot telling her how to cook!. Www@FoodAQ@Com
A right fry up-- egg, bacon, beans toast of a morning alternately tea or coffee and something light!.!.!.
Ploughman's lunch!.!.!.!.
And meat and two veg for supper (back when "dinners" were for posh sorts)!.!.!.
Fish and chips were something no one though would kill them early!.!.!.
Me wondereth!.
All that aside, I do like good food and will try different things but blast, celebrity chefs often cooking food a good many can't afford and acting like food gods would invoke a right telling off from my gran, or a gob smack if she could have got her hands on them!.
I don't think she would have been caught dead watching that lot telling her how to cook!. Www@FoodAQ@Com
Personally, being a celebrity chef is not for me, i enjoy cooking for the sake of cooking and because i like to eat!. My friends and family who i cook for enjoy my efforts, and praise me for my meals, this is enough for me!. I watch celebrity chefs, and thank goodness, i don't have the ego to be one, although the money they make would be nice, oh well i will find another way to get a bit of money, without the hassle of being a celebrity chef!. I agree with Rio Jade, a fat chef is the only one to trust, which is a good thing, as i am quite a fat chef myself!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I do have a soft spot for essex boy Jamie, and I like Steins ideas, but both he and Rhodes are too picky!.
But I do like the way all 3 support British produce!.
They are not celebreties to me just happen to be on the telly,Www@FoodAQ@Com
But I do like the way all 3 support British produce!.
They are not celebreties to me just happen to be on the telly,Www@FoodAQ@Com
I watch the foodie shows because I like food, not the chefs!. I would mute the program if I could fake the chopping, scraping, sizzling, bubbling, slurping sounds that also eminate!.
I do like Nigella, only because she clearly eats her food, and she goes for the midnight snack!. That one hook-nose wispy Italian chick on the Food Network in the US hasn't eaten a full meal in several years!.
A fat chef is the only chef to be trusted!. Fat chefs don't make good television!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I do like Nigella, only because she clearly eats her food, and she goes for the midnight snack!. That one hook-nose wispy Italian chick on the Food Network in the US hasn't eaten a full meal in several years!.
A fat chef is the only chef to be trusted!. Fat chefs don't make good television!.Www@FoodAQ@Com