Why am I scared of eating chicken wings?!
Ok here goes something that you'll probably hear from a weirdo like me:
I CANNOT eat honey/buffalo/sesame. or any kind of god damn wings anywhere in Public!!!! Not in Wing Stop.... etc.. ... Strange I know.... But when there's people around, (BTW I LOVE WINGS) and there's wings to eat, I CANT eat them. It's one of my fears... In order to eat wings, you have to be really careful .. handle them with ease. You cant just attack them just like that. You have to be able to know how to crack it open and reach all the hard to get parts. ,.. the more you explore it, the more meat you'll find.... LOL.... anyway... I cant eat wings in public because people look at you too see where exactly you're going to initiate the first bite. Then you have to use your fingers and split the two bones apart,... that's a hassle, (Unless you get boneless wings. BTW boneless wings suck)
and then your fingers get all dirty, and next thing you know, you're outta napkins... and then you're like "oh sh*iieett"... and then you have some BBQ sauce next to your lip and somehow in your right eyebrow.. to top all of that off you get an itch right smack dab behind your ear and you can't scratch it because your hands are dirty... and ...then next thing you know right when you're about to get another wing, you reach for it and it slips out of your hand.. and then you realize that that's the most weirdest **** you've experienced in your life, and you just want Godzilla to come outta nowhere and grab you an take to the top of the empire state building and...........
and if you do manage to get a good grip of your wing you lean towards in and bite, your teeth pull of the skin and then next thing you know, the whole skin is literally torn out of the wings and you have no choice but to eat it all... and then the person who has been watching you all along as you pig out is thinking in his head, "what the fu*k?! she ate the whole wing skin dude" and then you keep wrestling with the wings, and then all of a sudden your tongue slips out in the middle of the two chicken bones... Omg its just horrible,.. or maybe I'm just socially awkward............. O.O
I don't know... is there anyone out there who has a similar perspective? LMAO
Answers:
LOL! you should write a book, very descriptive and could totally picture it. You had me rolling on the ground laughing. My answer is no but too funny~!
Hanging, gee girl that was a long explanation. in answer to the final question, "no".
nope
LOL! Oh, God, you're making me so depressed! 8^)
I feel the same way. Also about ribs. They're messy and you have to not mind they're so messy.
I was talking to a friend of mine who is a chef. He was making rock cornish game hens. Turns out they're not some strange different species, they're only a very young chicken. I told him it's just too much trouble to get all the meat off them, they're more trouble to eat than they're worth. He said yeah, but some people like food you have to 'pick at', food you have to go to some fuss over. You can see people eat them, he said, and they go to a lot of trouble to get every last little scrap of meat off the bones. Some people actually like that! But I don't.
I feel the same about wings. There just isn't as much meat on them as, say, on thighs or legs. They're more trouble to eat for the actual amount of meat you get.
As for boneless wings, I don't think they're wings at all. They're some other part of the chicken, just shaped like a wing.
LOL ... I know exactly what you mean. I have the same fear because there is a big difference when you eat wings at home than in public. There really isn't a cleaner way to eat and I find it nearly impossible and stupid looking to sit there and try to eat wings with a fork and knife o-O
Soooo...you just have to make sure you have a lot of napkins on hand while you're eating them. Just bite off what you can and it's okay to use your fingers to rip away the meat between the bones. I don't advise that you try and crack apart the bones and all that..just looks eh, well doesn't look so appetizing lol So good luck and hope this helps!