How do you slaughter a tofurkey?!
How do you slaughter a tofurkey?
Answers:
You take a knife and cut off its soyhead. Let the soymilk drain out and remove the soynnards. Be careful to avoid rupturing the soytestine and contaminating the smeat.
with a spork
They come slaughtered.
Slaughter not required. It was never alive.
rip open its wrapper
I guess cut off its head and eat it.
I Agree with David. lol. Don't contaminate the SMEAT!!!
FEAR THE SPORK!!!
What an interesting choice of words. If slaughtering took place than it wouldn't be a Tofurkey.
What a waste of a question.
First you have to catch it.
The tofurkey, in it's natural habitat, claims a piece of refridgerator cabinet as it's own. So you'll need warm clothing.
Tofurkey is a master of hiding. Cleaverly concealed behind the plastic wrap that is it's nest.
Since tofurkey is fairly hard of hearing, if you sneak up on it behind you can grab it, nest and all and humanely trap it in your "basket."
Tofurkeys are delicate creatures. So you may find it's completely incapacitated once it hits your basket.
Be careful though. When deprived of it's plastic nest, tofurkey can be rascally. I've seen them leap from a counter top. Usually in the mouth of a dog. But that's another lesson all together...
Before I can give you the actual slaughter technique, you'll have to do the Tofurkey Send Off Dance.