For dedicated veggie moms and dads only-no veggie bashers?!
For dedicated veggie moms and dads only-no veggie bashers?
If you want to promote your meat eating, then go away,...this is posted in the veggie section...you will just look like an *** if you post.......Now,,,,,, on to my question.....as the mother (and fellow) vegan, veggie....my 12 year old daughter, who has been meat free since age 2 is quite popular. We host many partys, sleepovers, etc at our house, and therefor, she is often invited to others homes. Since I dont let my child stay with people I dont know, they all know our lifestyle (we have many allergies too, wheat, soy, dairy, eggs) I always send an easy meal for my baby when she goes to others, as they do not tend to accomodate in the same way I do.......prob is, she is being invited to fewer things, as it is viewed as a problem......how do you parents deal? She is at a sleepover tonight, and had to eat a prepacked raw bar and some organic chips, while every one else pigged out on pizza, corndogs, and brownies. My heart aches for her..
Additional Details5 months ago
when my daughters friends come to our house, we do fun things like spagetti fondue with fun dippers, so they dont feel cheated.....none of her friends moms seam willing to return the favor...I dont want her to become an outcast, due to our strong beliefs and allergies..........welcome any input.................many parents are put out when you send a meal from home....like they are doing something wrong....
5 months ago
by the way, she is vegan due to allergies, not by choice until 2 years ago, when she realized how food animals are treated....would not touch meat with 10 foot pole! her choice......
Answers:
5 months ago
when my daughters friends come to our house, we do fun things like spagetti fondue with fun dippers, so they dont feel cheated.....none of her friends moms seam willing to return the favor...I dont want her to become an outcast, due to our strong beliefs and allergies..........welcome any input.................many parents are put out when you send a meal from home....like they are doing something wrong....
5 months ago
by the way, she is vegan due to allergies, not by choice until 2 years ago, when she realized how food animals are treated....would not touch meat with 10 foot pole! her choice......
I fully understand your problem since my kids were raised veggie until they were old enough to make their own choices. We went through exactly the same situation you describe. Our solution was to host even more 'parties' and made a conscious decision to seek out and invite the 'problem' families kids (like yours
Sorry that's life. You are right to stick to your convictions, but you can't really change people. What can you do? Unlike most young people, your daughter has discovered that the vast majority of people are mean, clique-ish and intolerant of differences. It's never too early to be aware of what an ugly place this world is. Good luck to you and your daughter.
PS: I'm cynical because I was even more of an outcast than your daughter.
While I'm not a parent I can relate in certain ways to your daughter. I find it really sad how the parents of your daughter's friends treat her like an outcast. She has allergies for crying out loud! I give you kudos for making it fun for her friends when they spend the night. Have you tried talking to the parents? Maybe you could have your own get together with the parents and show them all the delicious meals they can have without: wheat, soy, dairy, and eggs. I was reading through another question in which they asked why vegans and vegetarians are criticized. I stick by this: People are afraid of what they don't know, whats out of their comfort zone. It's true with adults as well. Good luck and I'm sorry that your daughter has to go through all that to enjoy a night with her friends.
How do you know that she is being invited to fewer things because of her diet? My 12 year old gets invited in waves just like alot of other kids. I think it's normal at this age. Besides that, there is always something to be found to eat and none of her friends have a problem with it and neither do the parents.
If you child is bringing her own food, that's great. It is hard to accomodate kids with allergies all the time.
I'm confused though because you make spaghetti fondue. Unless you are using rice pasta and faux cheese, isnt spaghetti wheat and fondue dairy?
I feel for you and your family. We've gone through the same thing for years. My kids are all dairy intolerant. You would think from some of our "friend"s comments that I was an unfit mother for not giving my children milk and dairy. After all, look at what the Milk Council ads tell us! Actually, they had plenty of my milk until they weaned themslves, but that's a different story. I think it's important to just talk with our kids and help them completely understand why we make the choices we do, and let other people's opinions alone. In the social realm, that's not going to help her,though. I'd suggest continuing to do the same as always-- providing fun activities and snacks at your own home--better to be the bigger person--and eventually she'll have more friends with veganism in common. At her age, cliques are everything, and hopefully in High School the circles widen a bit.
Way to go for being a supportive Mom!
Both of my daughters are vegan. The oldest is almost three. Yeah, not under the pressures of a 12 year old at a sleep over, but already she goes to our friend's home to hang out without us around. They know we don't want her eating animal foods, but they are pretty much totally ignorant. So, she ends up eating some things that I would never feed her, you know, candies, cookies, maybe even some meat, who knows. Sure, she's only three, but one night of it won't kill her. Besides, to her, such foods really taste like crap compared to what we normally eat.
Recently, at a potluck dinner, I tried to give her some vegetables from a Japanese vegetable stew which also has some chunks of meat in there. She wouldn't eat it just because of the bad taste. She’s never had meat before, so to her, it just tastes gross. So, hey, don't worry about it. If your kids go from eating very healthy, then suddenly pig out on pizza, candy, pop, etc. they will notice how sick it makes them feel and learn a lesson. The more pressure you put on your kids from your end to "make sure you don't eat any..." or "watch out for..." or whatever, the more isolated she will feel. Next time, send her along with a bagger full of healthier junk/snack foods. Nuts, sesame sticks, organic corn chips, different dips, or whatever and enough for her to share. Maybe some really interesting things that the other kids would like and want to try. At 12, she's no baby, and plenty old enough to fend for herself anyway.
As far as all of those allergies you guys have, I'm no expert, but from my experience, such things are due to poor digestion and introduction to adult foods into children's diet at too young an age. Just remember, in other countries, food allergies are unheard of. In China, they eat loads of peanuts, yet never heard of peanut allergies. Other countries eat lots of wheat, yet have neither heard of wheat allergies. I have been to Japan, and they eat lots of tofu, soy beans, soy sauce, miso, etc. just as they do in China and never had anyone I talked to heard of a soy-allergy. The common factor that people with food allergies have is that it is not the food, but some other underlying problem.