Question about my sister in law being a vegitarian?!

Question:

Question about my sister in law being a vegitarian?

I know this is for food section but I need some advice. My sister in law is 13 and she claims to be a vegitarian. Though she eats meat on the sneak and her parents make her. The prob is she makes rude comments during meals about any meat on the plates and goes on and on about how we are all killers, all the while she sneaks to the kitchen to eat hot dogs and lunch meat. How do we get her to tone it down a bit? she gets really out of control a lot of the times. I want some advice from a vegitarian on how we should talk to her about this to get her to see what she is doing. Its ok to be a veggie and we dont care but she will practically starve herself somedays. And we want her to stop acting so mean to everyone when she gets into her rants. Also do you know any good recipes that the family can make for her? She hates most veggies and will only eat bread, rice or noodles. We would liek her to get more variety

Additional Details

4 months ago
we call her out on eating meat all the time but she says she does not, even when we catch her with a hot dog in her hand! She says with meat in her mouth she got if for the dog even though the dog is on a atrick diet. We all cook good! We even go out to eat at expensive places that off veggie food. We never force her to eat meant except her parents because they are worried becuase she hardly eats anything. We make salad dishes, casserols and even buy fake meat but she does not even eat the fake meat. SHe has cooked her own foods, and she does not like the stuff. A friend who is a veggie even cooked for her and she hated all he cooked.

4 months ago
she turns 14 this sunday and is a tab over weight, not to much though just normal baby fat. SHe pigs out on candy pop and chips and thats why the parents make her eat meat. SHe just started this veggie thing 6 months ago

Answers:

She ain't a vegetarian at all! She is just a spoiled lying brat!!!! She either needs to see a psychiatrist or maybe she just needs agood spanking! Either way she needs to see some movies about what it's really like to make meat and how the animals get treated.And if the parents would get rid of all the junk candy and chips and get good food like vegetables and Morningstar Farms she wouldn't be eating so much crap.

Get her a birthday present of a visit to a shrink and maybe a paddle!

Cook some beans and lentils like you would cook minced meat or small chicken pieces..
she can't complain and she should eat it.

Eh, this has nothing to do with being a vegetarian and all about being a teenager in control of her own life. She's obviously not choosing this lifestyle out of ethical values if she's sneaking meat, and she getting a lot of power out of the relationship. I'd stick with the old adage, if you can't say anything nice, then shut the f....um, don't say anything at all. Or something nicer like, I'm sorry you feel that way, feel free to make your own da...I mean, you can help yourself to something else for supper.

For stuff to eat, try www.vegweb.com. I'm not a vegetarian, but have plenty of friends who are, and try to eat a low meat diet...mostly.

"She hates most veggies and will only eat bread, rice or noodles. We would liek her to get more variety"

Sounds to me like she doesn't like your cooking and all she can find to eat is meat in the kitchen, plus she's likely having cravings. Just learn to cook some good food for her and she'll eat it. Or, better yet, get her to cook her own food. Tell her to get her butt to the library, find some recipes, and take her shopping for ingredients. Get her involved in her own food and maybe she'll stop bugging you about yours, especially if you ALL try some of her cooking too at meal time.

The best cookbook I can recommend is the American Vegetarian Cookbook by Marilyn Diamond. It has everything in there that you (or she) would ever need to know. From the basic utencils and ingredients, to techniques, to a complete vitamin and mineral listing, plus how to take recipes and alter them to be vegetarian. I cannot say enough about this book. It's at all the libraries around where I live, but it's worth buying. I even put tabs for all the different chapters for easy recipe searching I use it so much. No need to have every ingredient for recipes, they are mainly guidelines and easy to alter for what one has on hand.

Explain to her that the way she rants to you about how meat is murder is just as irritating as when someone puts meat in front of her to eat because both are attempts to convert people when they have no interest. If she continues, go on to explain about how her form is actually worse because not only is she verbally attacking you, you know she sneaks eating meat and so she's being hypocritical as well. If she still won't shut up, tell her she can eat alone.

I know this sounds a little harsh but we've both been 13-year-old girls, so we both know they don't listen very well. *g*

&On the topic of vegetarian recipes: I don't really know any; sorry. I'm practically the opposite of a vegetarian so I'm not very good about these things. When I ran a search I came up with a few sites:
http://vegweb.com/
http://allrecipes.com/recipes/vegetarian...
http://www.vrg.org/recipes/
and you can probably find more. If you find a vegetarian message board you might be able to drum up some good recipes there too. Good luck!

Edited to add: Some of the additional information you provided with your edits does concern me a little bit. Make sure she understands that puberty fat is normal and healthy and trying to starve herself won't do her any good. I knew a few girls who used vegetarianism as an excuse when developing eating disorders; they needed a reason not to eat that their families would hopefully buy. If confronted they would sometimes be equally militant to attempt to throw off suspicion. The snack binges [including on meat], her denial, and her insistance that she hates all food seem to be the biggest warning signs; after all it's hard to restrict ones food intake to that degree which leads to indulging in unhealthy foods. If you aren't sure you can trust her to be honest, try talking to some of her friends about how she's been eating. I'm not saying that she absolutely has or is developing an eating disorder; it may well be a form of teenage rebellion like some other answerers have mentioned. However, some of her actions are setting off red flags in my mind, especially compared to a few other girls I've known in the past who became extremely unhealthy because it took their families awhile to catch on.

She is 13, so sitting her down and telling her that it is not acceptible to talk like that at the table should work. If she is listening, tell her about the benefits of protein in milk, eggs, cheese, and meat.
Also mention that vegan seems to be the fad of the moment, and if there is not protein in her diet, she will pay in a short, unhealthy life. 13 is too young to be a total vegetarian, she needs the health benefits of milk, she is still growing. True vegetarians find protein sources, and include them in their diet.
She may be anorexic, if she is starving herself. Perhaps some counseling, or a doctor can see her.
A lot of people forget that lunch meat and hotdogs are from an animal, too. Just because it does not look like meat, doesn't mean it isn't.
And Answers people, do not bother to write to me about how I am a killer, and how your 2 year old is a vegan, I do not want to hear it. I take care of vegans, people with poor diets, anorexics and bulemics who are in their 40's and 50's, and I can see how it that has affected their general health and physical appearance.
It is not pretty.

Sounds like a typical teenager angry at everthing and every one. Bread Rice and Noodles are fine they are good staples it what you either put on or into them that helps. The sauces that go over them can be enriched with combinations of the Peas, beans and lentils, well cooked, liquidized. Tomatoes hide many things. Rice is part of Curry again it is the sauce which hides the proteins. If she continues to bad mouth then this is a problem for her perants who need to insist on certain behavour at the dinner table. I had a similar problem with my mum who insited that vegerarian diet was not healthy and insisted on telling me so on every opputunity eventually my husband asked her to stop doing it because it was offensive to him. The cookery section of a larger bookshop will have plenty of Vegetarian books but it take a few years to get to grips with the way of cooking but it is well worth the effort. I have been Vegetarian for 25 yrs. The search section on this site will give you plenty of Ideas. Good luck, stick with it the teenage years will soon be over and you will find that some vegie meal are very tasty.

I'm with 'Melissa' -- this is more a question about handling a pain-in-the-bum phase of adolescence than anything to do with vegetarianism.

Sort of.

"We all cook good! We even go out to eat at expensive places that off veggie food. We never force her to eat meant except her parents because they are worried becuase she hardly eats anything. We make salad dishes, casserols and even buy fake meat but she does not even eat the fake meat. SHe has cooked her own foods, and she does not like the stuff. A friend who is a veggie even cooked for her and she hated all he cooked."

Might I offer that she sounds fairly rude, and it sounds like she's being indulged too much?

If she's going to complain that much, and just eat meat anyway, don't bother with the fake meat, don't bother with the nice restaurants with veg options, any of it. Throw a multivitamin at her -- if she doesn't like vegetables, her diet is going to be lousy with or without the misguided "vegetarian" attempts -- and leave her alone.

_Ignore_ the you're-all-killers, hard as it might be. Just a "That's interesting, honey," and go back to a more interesting conversation.

This section is full of kids saying "I want to be a vegetarian, but my parents are giving me a really hard time about it" -- they'd kill to be in her shoes.

As for good recipes -- for somebody that fussy, no. Frankly, it sounds like dealing with a toddler who'll only eat three things. They outgrow it, and so will she, and it's not worth fussing over in the interim. Following the advice for said fussy toddlers might not be a bad idea, though -- put a lot of tomatoes in the mac and cheese, garnish the plate with fruit, etc; just sneak it in.

If your family could handle it, it might be thoroughly amusing to have a 'vegetarian week' where there just isn't any lunch meat or hot dogs in the kitchen, and everybody's eating well-planned vegetarian meals.

These problems can lead to major health issues in the future (not the vegetarian thing, but the lying about her eatting habits... it is the signs of an eatting disorder, especially with the abbusive attitude when it comes to something she really isn't to passionate about). If her parents are really worried they should do something about it, the child doesn't have to be skinny to be in trouble, and from your story it sounds like she might just be crying for help when she is voicing her oppinions at the table so boisterously.

This is what we do when one of ours gets picky: I make sure I fix at least one thing everyone likes, and I fix a healthy meal with a protein source, veg and a starch, like potato or rice. It's on the table, you don't have to eat it, but that is all I'm making. You are welcome to eat or not. Once you stop letting it be an issue, and do NOT respond to her comments, she will realize she is no longer getting the attention she wants by acting this way. If you have suitable vegetarian fare for her, on the table and in the kitchen for snacks, she has no need to make comments about what you eat. When she starts in, just say, "I've made sure you have a vegetarian meal. Your comments are not necessary." Keep fruit and cut veg in the kitchen, along with rice cakes, nuts and cheese, if she'll eat it, and keep all the meat frozen until you use it. Don't give in to her manipulation of the family, tell Mum and Dad to buy her a good multivitamin and quit worrying. If this is just acting out, it should change. If you are worried about her having an eating disorder, get her to a therapist.

This is part of being a teenager, and she is probably doing it for attention. If she does actually want to be a vegetarian, you could introduce her to the huge range of vegetarian food which is on offer, they even have vegetarian hot dogs! it is a good idea to talk to her and ask her whether she is just doing this for attentiona nd she doesnt want to be vegetarian, or whether she does and there is nothing wrong with that, but she is finding it difficult to find food that she likes. Remember: being a vegetarian doesnt mean that you have to eat only vegetables, these days they have all sorts of food that she can try! Good Luck!

thanks for being concerned enough to post this. Sounds like she is in a prepubescent state of confusion about it. Perhaps the best thing, would be for YOU (or someone who is close to her) to actually sit down and research about true vegetarianism. She may have been told all the horror stories about how food animals are treated, and she WANTS to be compassionate, but just doesnt know how. She probably subconciously thinks hot dogs and lunch meat are not "real" meat. If she can understand that being a veggie does not mean she has to mow down brocolli and carrots, but that good alternatives like bean and cheese burittos, tacos, wraps, etc. are easily incorporated into the diet. Also, encourage her that you will respect her food choices, and not criticise hers, that she must do the same for others and not make commentaries on the meats at the table. This little girl is at a very CRITICAL stage, and needs to be encouraged and supported. My 12 year old is vegan, and we get ragged on ALL THE TIME by meat eaters. My in laws are constantly trying to force her to eat meat, and she simply declines politely and eats the side dishes. I always make sure she has a snack or healthy treat in her bag for when there is nothing available that she wants. PLEASE, let your sister in law know that you will help her learn about it.....she needs to feel that someone is on her side.
If you want to talk more to me, please feel free to email me

I'm 13 and a vegetarian so I'll tell you what would work for me.
1. Tell her to either stop eating meat or stop calling herself a vegetarian and being mean to everyone else about it. If she complains about her parents making her, tell her that the only reason that her parents are making her is because she's acting so irresponsibly and that if she would eat a balanced diet, she wouldn't have to eat meat.
2. When she won't eat what you're eating, tell her that she can make something for herself to eat. If she chooses not to eat, then don't let her have chips, lollipops, etc. until she will eat her dinner. No dessert, either (that one always works on me and my brothers).
3. If she calls you all murderers, tell her that it is a lifestyle choice and if she has a problem with it, she can go eat somewhere else. (I find it useful to make a baby table where people who are being immature get sent)
4. As for the variety, change it slowly. First start introducing fresh pasta sauces and healthier breads and rices. Then add fake meat to pasta sauces and rice dishes. Finally add veggies and later just eat veggie dishes on some meals. She has to get used to it slowly.
Good luck!!!

As a vegetarian I can't stand people who eat meat and claim to be vegetarian. As she grows older and meets moree vegetarians she will learn to make her choice most likely. It sounds like to me she is in an unsure phase and hasn't made a choice, this is normal for children of that age, especially if their is family or peer pressure to eat a certain way.

My suggestion is to act mature, not to harass her about her choices either way, or to "call her on it". Talk about things and having a parent who stands their ground is the best way to work out problems with any human whether a stranger or your own child.

Simply have your mom take a stand and say:
"we respect each other in this family, we support whatever choice you want to make however we do not support insults. Everyone makes different choices in their life. Just as some people like different clothes or music, some chose different eating habbits. We will not tell you what to eat and we expect the same from you. I will not tollerate insults or rude behavior, if you cannot be civil while we are eatting then you will simply have to wait until we are done eating before you can join us!"

at that point if she does not stop her comments your mom should make her stay in her room until the family is done eating and simply stick with it. And she should keep all meal time rules valid during this (example if the tv is not allowed on during meal time your sister should not be allowed to turn it on while shes waiting to eat)

p.s. I don't know why anyone would force their child to eat meat because they eat a lot of junk food. Why does it make sense to force someone to eat fat when they consume lots of it already. The best option their would be for your mom to just STOP buying the junk food. If she doesn't buy it it will cut the binging down. She should try replacing the chips, pop, and candy with easy to snack on fruits (cherries, bananas) yougurt or applesauce cupse, juice, dried fruits, lof fat cheese sticks, etc. Your sister may not all the foods at first but studied have shown the more a person eats a food the more they like it.

Have junk food eliminated from the house. Buy only whole wheat breads and pasta. Only have water and 100% juice drinks in the house, no soda- everyone will be better for the change. No chips. I don't know what to say about the meat sneaking. You could put a picture of a slaughtered animal on the lunch meat and hot dogs if you want to be a freak...Every time she complains about you eating meat tell her she has to eat a vegetable or shut her mouth. No, actually- I don't have any good advice...good luck with her she sounds like a handful.

I've tried to be a vegetarian a few times. I ended up doing the same thing with my diet and decided it was no more healthy, so just went back to being an omnivore. I think you all should ask her why she wants to be a vegetarian. For health or ethical reasons? Ask for details and let her express her opinions in a rational discussion. It might help for her to know that how she feels is important to other people. Then, let her know that any rude behavior will not be tolerated. And prividgles will be taken away if it continues. Discussing it and stating her opinion is fine. Being rude at the dinner table will be punished. (I don't have any teenagers, but I think that would have worked for me.)

As far as her diet, it is not healthy. She knows it. Whole grain bread, rice and noodles are great, but you need other things as well. Let her know that you are concerned. She can get protein from cheese, nuts, legumes. Vegetarians don't have to eat special things like tofu and all that. One of my favorites is vegetarian chile. Grilled cheese, peanut butter sandwich, egg salad--anything like that is good. As far as vegetables, how about homemade vegetarian vegetable soup? Another person mentioned Marilyn Diamond as well. I'm going to recommend that she read "Fit for Life" by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond as well. It's not as much about recipes specifically, but about healthy vegetarian eating. And it is riviting (for someone with vegetarian tendencies). Very good book. But, I will warn you, it is about how to combine food in a healthy way. I'm thinking that it might make her even more convicted and picky about how and what she eats. But it might make her see the importance of an actual healthy diet. Maybe read through it first before you give it to her. Good luck.

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Question about my sister in law being a vegitarian?!

Question about my sister in law being a vegitarian?

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