Why is it such a big deal? How come people can't grasp my decision?!
Why is it such a big deal? How come people can't grasp my decision?
Since I have become a vegetarian people have been putting me down constantly.. And I don't understand why. I never comment about what they choose to put in their mouths, so why should they care what I put in mine?
Yesterday I went to my Aunt's for easter dinner.. They made steak for themselves but made me a veggie kabob. They also had a potato salad and a macaroni salad that they told me would contain no meat so I wouldn't have to worry about bringing something (which I would have gladly brought some kind of vegetarian thing everyone could enjoy). Well I got there and the potato salad was full of bacon and the macaroni salad was full of tuna. I got my kabob and then my Aunt forcefully grabbed my plate and filled it with both the salads while saying "Your cousin doesn't like onions and I put them in there, so just pick around what you don't want." Then when I didn't eat it and said I was done she gave me a really rude look and said "Well that was wasteful."
2 months ago
Also. This is a line I've heard one to many times.
"You CAN eat fish you know."
Well I don't want to eat fish. How is fish different than any other animal?
Answers:
2 months ago
Also. This is a line I've heard one to many times.
"You CAN eat fish you know."
Well I don't want to eat fish. How is fish different than any other animal?
Any time you step outside 'accepted' behaviors, you will be subject to undue criticism. This goes for your choice of religion if it is not mainstream, your choice of political party (try voting Green sometime and watch people freak and call you names) and even your choice of music. People fear what they don't understand and it usually manifests as anger or hate.
Next time you must dine with your family, pack your own meal. If they tell you how rude it is to do something like that, just inform them you remember the "Easter Incident" and didn't want to be 'wasteful' again.
Personally, I have multiple food allergies and have to watch what I eat. You'd be amazed the amount of people who 'don't believe in food allergies' and have nearly killed me. One Aunt has tried TWICE now, blaming it on hysteria even though I had no clue she had used peanut oil instead of olive oil in her salad dressing. I pack my own food AND an epi-pen to all family gatherings if I even bother attending.
Good luck with your new dietary path and don't let the slings and dirty looks get to you. Eventually they'll just accept you are a veg now and move on to some other so-called horrid aspect of (hopefully) someone else's life.
~Morg~
ETA: I'm 37 and my Aunt is STILL saying I'm not really allergic to anything because, in her words "How can anyone be allergic to a FOOD?!?" And this after being hauled out of her home by ambulance twice in the last 10 years. Sheesh.
Because your choice in diet isn't mainstream, expect others to not understand it. But, even if they don't understand it, they should still respect it. Makes ya wonder....if you told them you were diabetic, would they still load your plate with sugar? If you can't get them to respect your dietary needs, I suggest just coming prepared for these types of get togethers by bringing several vegetarian dishes you know you like and others will probably like as well. By all means, don't feel guilted into eating stuff just because they throw it on your plate. If they can't be polite, then it's your job to just use your manners, and eat what you choose to and leave the rest.
yeah, i no wht. u mean. my cousins and aunt r vegan. I guess that because for so many years people always knew and said it was so good and healthy to eat meat, and u should eat it every day. Also it is a fact of life. Animals eat each other, not that i am comparing u to an animal, but even or ancestors at other animals. It will just take them time. Like how it took people time to get usted to the ideas of lesbians and gays. It's not ur fault.
By the way it sounds ur probably still young, so they dont take you seriously. You should sit down and talk to your mom and dad about your concerns if you want to stop this from happening.
I hear that in the US vegetarianism is kinda alien, well a more alien concept there than here in the UK anyway where everything here is labled suitable for vegetarians if it contains no animal ingredients in it.
Your aunt sounds like some kind of control freak btw.
They are only making a big deal out of it because you are.You know when I am in a room of people the only way they know that I am a Christian is when I start talking about Jesus.You see what I mean, you are telling everyone that you are vegetarian, that is your choice.How old are you that they would actually serve you salad?That should be a sign that you need to serve your own food and not tell everyone what you can and can not eat.When you are grown you will not have that problem..
Well sweetie. I personally respect ppls wishes and beliefs (me being Wiccan and all i get the same crap from ppl all the time when they see my pentacle around my neck...which is a symbol of my religion).
Personally i believe ppl are ppl, u can't please them all. Like the saying goes, "Your damned if u do and your damned if u don't". As long and your happy don't worry about everyone else. Eventually you'll be able to let all the comments go through one ear and out the other without it effecting you.
More power to u! Best of luck on your new path.
I think it's because they feel threatend by your choice. I don't really see what the big deal is either but I think that just you bein there and not eatin meat makes them feel like they shouldn't either but they don't want to stop and they also don't want to be reminded that what they're doing is wrong which is how you make them feel even though you don't care what they do. Follow me?
i think when you first become a vegetarian, people think it's not such a serious choice or whatever. i remember when i first became a vegetarian 10+ years ago my parents didn't really believe me either. they didn't really understand that when i said i didn't want to eat meat, i meant it. so they'd still cook things and just ask me to eat around it.
you really just have to stick to your guns. i think once people become aware that you're serious, they'll start to be more considerate. my parents did after they realized it wasn't just a passing phase, and that i was really committed. and if not, just don't go anymore, or be sure to eat before you get there. if you just tell them it's okay, they'll just keep doing it. or, bring your own dish to share with them. some people don't like to eat certain vegetables, and its okay for them to avoid the dish entirely. people who don't eat meat for whatever reason should be able to do the same without being picked on.
Tuna and bacon, how rude of your aunt.
You just learned a huge lesson....always and I mean always, take your own food. I still do.
You may have to tell them, "It really bothers me that you are putting me down right now." and walk way. Keep saying it over and over. When my family is 'only kidding' I tell them, sorry I don't eat burned dead animals.
Your Aunt is certainly bad mannered, particularly as you explained your dietary needs prior to your arrival. To have bacon in the potato salad and tuna in the macaroni is pure ignorance.
Feel proud that you stood your ground !!!!
and whilst I am not a vegetarian I would at least make the effort if it had been me
I know what you mean, and you are completely right.
People can't mind their business and respect others beliefs. You don't go around telling people that meat is murder, so they shouldn't care what you are doing. I know exactly how you feel though, People don't respect me for my beliefs, and they think oh eating a little bit of meat wont hurt me... it's just really disrespectful.
My mom does the same thing to me. As far as my extended family some of them think that it is stupid... and alot of them comment about my decisions, but they are MY decisions, and that is what people need to understand.
Yesterday I went to my mom's side of the family for Easter, They are the nicer ones(they don't make comments, and they accommodate me being a vegan, unlike my dad's side they don't understand at all) anyway, they made me the vegan boca burgers, took the corn and broccoli out before the put the butter in, and got me some salad. Needless to say, I like them better most of the time(lol).
You will might just have to learn to tune them out, because some people will never change. Maybe just bring your own things next time, whether they say they have prepared something for you or not.
That sucks though, Good luck.
Go you!! And you tell 'em that you CAN'T eat fish, if you want to remain vegetarian - which obviously you do. Uhm - this is terrible, but unfortunatly it's not unlike what most other people on this board get from their ignorant families. My boyfriend's mother thinks that his vegetarianism is 'weird' and 'unnatural' - at least she buys him plenty of vegetable foods, though. When one of my professors heard that I was going vegan, he said, "Well I'll have to talk to her about that!" Ugh. People. Misery loves company, though. I suppose we threaten them somehow.
Just be firm in your decision and let them know, respectfully, that you don't care what they think and that you will continue to live ethically. Let them know that they're not going to shake your commitment and that you expect to be treated with respect. Hopefully, they'll comply. If not, try to avoid them.
You should take some vegetarian plates with tofu chicken, beef and turkey. Have them try it and let them know that you can eat almost like them and be happy. Sometime they don't understand cause they aren't really informed to what it is to be Vegetarian or even Vegan. Go easy on them and they should understand you beliefs slowly. Introduce them to your cuisine. I'm neither of the two but I really enjoy Vegetarian and Vegen dishes alot.