My daughter wants to be a vegetarian - why am I so angry?!
My daughter wants to be a vegetarian - why am I so angry?
I am actually serious with this question -
My daughter is 11. She wants to be a vegetarian.
She has a 130 IQ (not as high as mine), and we love to debate things. I think I could allow her to do it if she could come up with a good reason, but all of her reasons seem political, and not a personal choice.
I'm sorry, but I believe our bodies were made to eat meat. I enjoy eating meat, and could not imagine going thru life without a steak once in a while.
I think her reasons are political - She saw a show once, thinks animals have feelings, feels that animals are as important as people, etc, which I am vehemently opposed to. How do others handle this?
2 months ago
I'm sorry, when I say feelings, I mean emotions - Cows, fish, chickens, no, they do not have anything that resembles emotions
2 months ago
To Clarify - I'm not battling her on this because of difficulty in preparing meals (although yes, that is an issue) but because she is 11, I am her father, and it is my responsibility to make sure she grows up healthy! THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT IS STEREOTYPICAL AND I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE - I have never seen a vegetarian that looked really healthy, in my opinion. Always seem too thin, too small - I worry about my daughters health.
2 months ago
Deb - I HAVE done research on this - if this were a choice of what style clothes to wear, I would not care. What I read is that the protiens needed at this age of development must be supplemented. At 11 years old, she is not an adult, and it is my job to keep her healthy, as she won't eat beans & nuts because she doesn't like them. Let her make the choice? At 11? A choice to deprive her body of what is required to develop? That, in my opinion, is bad parenting. Everyone, by the way? I've seen all the films, know how cows are killed, chickens are raised. I'm not trying to get you all to eat meat, lets try & back away from the rabidity here.
2 months ago
Freswood - you state "You can't possibly say that eating meat is morally right. " Oh my God, that pretty much answers everything, and here is why - My eating meat has never been a moral decision at all, and has nothing to do with morality. I'm hungry, I eat what my body over millions of years has evolved to eat. You would, to me anyway, have the same effect if you told me breathing was a moral issue.
Answers:
2 months ago
I'm sorry, when I say feelings, I mean emotions - Cows, fish, chickens, no, they do not have anything that resembles emotions
2 months ago
To Clarify - I'm not battling her on this because of difficulty in preparing meals (although yes, that is an issue) but because she is 11, I am her father, and it is my responsibility to make sure she grows up healthy! THE FOLLOWING STATEMENT IS STEREOTYPICAL AND I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE - I have never seen a vegetarian that looked really healthy, in my opinion. Always seem too thin, too small - I worry about my daughters health.
2 months ago
Deb - I HAVE done research on this - if this were a choice of what style clothes to wear, I would not care. What I read is that the protiens needed at this age of development must be supplemented. At 11 years old, she is not an adult, and it is my job to keep her healthy, as she won't eat beans & nuts because she doesn't like them. Let her make the choice? At 11? A choice to deprive her body of what is required to develop? That, in my opinion, is bad parenting. Everyone, by the way? I've seen all the films, know how cows are killed, chickens are raised. I'm not trying to get you all to eat meat, lets try & back away from the rabidity here.
2 months ago
Freswood - you state "You can't possibly say that eating meat is morally right. " Oh my God, that pretty much answers everything, and here is why - My eating meat has never been a moral decision at all, and has nothing to do with morality. I'm hungry, I eat what my body over millions of years has evolved to eat. You would, to me anyway, have the same effect if you told me breathing was a moral issue.
I'm 24 and have been a vegetarian for almost 7 years. You may want to take her to a nutritionist so she knows how to get protein and ask the nutritionist about her becoming a vegetarian. I have thought of eating meat again and if I do it will be free range meat only. That way the animals live in better conditions and are usually healthier. You might want to have her check out this one website: http://www.mercola.com/2000/mar/26/veget...
Animals DO have feelings..........duh! Ugh..............people like this just piss me off...........
Do you really think we care how high your I.Q. is? Your I.Q. bears no significance to the qustion, stating your learning abilitie only makes you look like a self absorbed douche.
Incidentally, I don't understand why someone with out specific dietary requirements would not want to eat the flesh of an animal, animals taste good.
Whom should we not hurt: Animals or their feelings?
I guess we would have been in a better position to debate this, if we were not at the top of the food chain.
Ask her if she knows what muscles are made of and require to continue being healthy. Answer protein, most specificly long strand proteins found only in meat. Also until age 20-23 the nervous system needs natural fats to continue the mylenation process. The BEST place to get these is from.......MEAT. not only is the human body made to eat meat, it requires it at young ages to build and mantain itself.
Although she is young you need to let her decide this for herself if you fight her on it it's just gonna push her into it more. My son is 7 and is a vegetarian. I hope one day he will at least try meat but i decided not to push the issue because i don't want to push him into something he doesn't want to do. As long as she is healthy you shouldn't worry too much. She needs to learn to make her own decisions. Patience and tolerance is the best advice I can give you. Good luck.
Political or a personal choice, you owe it to your daughter to get on the internet and read up on being a Vegan. Go to www.peta.com you just might change your mind on the meat thing. Me personally, I like meat. But to each his own. Plus you will get quality time doing it together
I can see where this could bother you. She is pretty young still. I personally feel if a child really wants to be vegan, they must be old enough to prepare meals for themselves that are nutritiously sound. I hardly think an 11yo is capable of that.
It isn't really fair to you and the rest of your family that you would have to come up with extremely creative meals to satisfy everyone's palate and still keep HER meals vegan.
I agree with you...I couldn't give up my occasional steak!
Seems to me like a battle of wills.. what the hell the difference does it make? So you like steak.. and she does not want to eat meat.. Whether it is political or practical.. you don't eat for her and she does not eat for you.. why would you want to force you will off on her? let her eat what she wants.. either she will be happy with the decision or not.. if later she decides that she wants to eat some meat she will, if not, she won't.. why would you want something so trivial to come between you and your daughter.. she has to make her on way in life and if you don't let her grow then what is she going to be? I think you need to get over YOURSELF.
well, i personally have trouble eating meat also, but just because i don't like how it tastes.
so here it is, i think you should let her be a vegetarian, but SHE has to cook the extra meals for HERSELF. if she wants to live this way, then SHE has to take care of it. there is no sense in making 2 diff. meals.
I think you are angry because you feel like she isn't taking a stand for herself, but merely doing what the 'media' says to do-and you raised her otherwise.
so, let her do like a trial period for 3 weeks or so and tell her to keep a journal of what she ate and how she felt after it. tell her to find recipes and things to eat. this may seem a bit much for an 11 year old to do, but if she insists that she is old enough to decide what kind of person she is, then this should be a walk in the park.
hope i helped:)
Apparently you are not an animal person--of course animals have feelings. Read up on what red meat and chicken does to your body and you may change your mind as well. She sounds like a smart cookie--let her try it and see how she feels. Just take her to her doctor first, for her age--she will need to get a blood test about 2 times a year.
So what if her reasons are political--her health will be better off in the long run and I teach 11, 12 and 13 year olds who have no concept of political issues--you should be proud of her!! She may not even like it--there are worse things to stress about.
http://vegetarian.lifetips.com/cat/9166/...
I personally feel u should let her experience being a vegetarian and if its a lifestyle that she enjoys then back her up 100%. Some people think that if one chooses to be a vegetarian that it excludes all meaty products. Chicken, fish, shrimp, oysters and other shellfish can be eaten. But allow your daughter to make wise decisions not decisions on conditions, thats your job.
i think the only reason you have aproblem with this is you do not whant to stop eating meat.and you feel if your dauter becomes a vegiterien you will have to to. thats not so. i would let here become vegiterian. she is her own person . she feels the way she feels and has her own personality ,and out look on things. ps by the way just so you do not think i am one of those activist . i am not a vegiterian i love meat to.
well first off, despite your self proclaimed high iq humans actually are not made to eat meat. if you look at the dental structure of human beings they have mainly flat molars that are not well suited to piercing and cutting flesh but are well suited for crushing and grinding up plant material.
that fact aside, your daughter is making a conscious choice. you may not agree with it but her choice is not an unhealthy one. she's not getting a tattoo or piercing her tongue because she thinks its cool.
vegetarianism/veganism is a very healthy lifestyle. there are accommodations that must be made to compensate for the lackof protein that meat provides but alternative can be found in nuts and beans, etc.
even if her reasons are solely political not eating meat isn't exactly against the moral fabric of society. i say support her and let her run with this. she may outgrow it or find that she really misses meat. the point is let her come to the decision on her own.
Impress upon her that Beef/Lamb/Chicken and Fish were put on this earth by God to feed our bodies with the necessery niutrients it needs in order to maintain her health & her IQ level. It is wrong however, to kill these animals for any other purpose.
Then again, God also gave every individual the gift of free choice!!
If she wants to be a vegetarian, I wouldn't debate it. If she's doing this just to be contrary to you, who knows what she's going to do when she's older? I'm not saying to be over-accomodating, but have options available to her (and of course the rest of the family), like beans and rice, or other meatless options. I would also try to make sure she's making healthy choices; be up front with letting her know that just because Twinkies aren't meat, it doesn't make it an appropriate substitute. Maybe with time, she'll be back with us carnivores! Good luck!!!
There are great advantages to being a vegetarian, I think I might try to be partailly vegetarian soon. You have more energy, lower cholesterol, and less chance of having blocked arteries. Let her make her own decision, she may change her mind later, but it should be up to her, not you. You can eat whatever you want to, it's your choice, give her the same right to choose as you have. And yes, I believe animals have feelings, however this should not be the reason to go veg. People on this earth have always eaten meat, since the cave man days, and always will. Give her some freedom, she might change her mind sooner than you think. If not, let it be!
you can have all the meat she doesn't eat. If the entire family is eating a balanced diet- all she has to do is "fork over" her serving of meat at each meal. No special separate meals involved.
No need to make this a holy roller issue.
IMO if you had a high IQ you would know how unhealthy meat is for the body. At 11 your daughter should be able to make this decision, unless you are trying to raise a drone that just goes along with the crowd.
Even if she is doing it for "political" reason and just going along with it, how is that any different than her going along with eating meat becauase of how you feel. What are your motives for eating meat, enjoyment(as you put it). Just because you would not be able to handle not eating meat does not mean that is how she feels.
In honesty how many of the choices any person makes are not political, religious, or influenced by some outside source.
Lots of people are angry when confronted with the ideas behind vegetarianism. I suggest you look into the facts a little further and I think you may agree with your extremely intelligent daughter.
I am not sure what you mean that her reasons are 'political'.? I am convinced animals have emotions but there is no doubt that they suffer. Watch a video of a cow or pig in the moments before their slaughter and there is no denying it. I have also seen footage of farm workers beating turkeys with pipes and grabbing chickens by the legs and bashing them against cages. I would be proud if my daugther knew about these things and chose not be any part of this violence. Even the tastiest piece of meat is not worth the suffering an animal must endure.
I am sure she will research how to be a healthy vegetarian but it is really quite easy. Replacing meat with more nuts, soy products and beans is simple enough. The rest is just eating a balanced whole foods diet.
Here is a great article on the enviroemental impact of intensive farming:
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/sto...
Here is a site with lots of medical and nutrition info:
http://www.pcrm.org/
A compelling video and the reason many people consider vegetarianism:
http://www.meat.org/
You are angry because you are a control freak.And she is not letting you control her.
lets her do is healthy
If you have never experienced life without meat then I understand your questioning. I can say however that I stopped eating meat when I was 10 because I saw how animals were treated before they were slaughtered and it upset me in such a way that I did not want to have anything to do with it. I am now 20 years older and am very healthy, not too thin, athletic and probably have much healthier proteins in me than my meat eating family. I am glad that I was not forbidden to make this decision when I was so young. My family still don't understand how I can go through life without eating steak or chicken etc, but we aren't all meant to be the same people.You say you like to debate things with your daughter? When you debate, do you end up persuading eachother to step down from your convictions or do you debate and leave it with mutual respect for the others strength of conviction?? maybe let her try it and help her with it. She might get tired of it and go back to meat, but she sounds clever. Give her the chance to find out how she feels.
good luck with this:)
it is your daughters choice what she puts in her body. if you want to believe that we were made to eat meat, go on ahead, but that doesn't mean that she cannot experiment with abstaining from animal muscle. go to a slaughter house one day. i defiantly feel you will change your views on whether animals, like us, have feelings or not.
You need to separate your food choices from hers. I would talk to your Dr. and find a way to keep her healthy eating the type of foods she likes.
her IQ has nothing to do with her choice. she is becoming an independent young woman -as you've encouraged her. relax and realize that there will much bigger battles to fight in the next few years. just because you enjoy eating meat, doesn't mean that she cannot. teach her to respect choice by modeling the behavior.
Has it been proven that animals have no emotions? What about dogs and cats.
Why are you making statements when you KNOW they are stereotypical?
I have always been skinny even before I became a vegetarian. Yes you do get skinnier when giving up meat, it happens. I think you should support your daughter's decision and not repeat yourself saying "All her reasons are political" vegetarianism IS political.
I find it horrible when parents don't support their child's decision to give up meat. Just because you think its bad for her, doesn't make it true. Why don't you do research before saying 'no' to her.
ok the person who said animals have feelings, untrue they do have pain but they thrive stritcly on instinct, and about killing animals, its on wrong if its about game and luxury clothing, but if its to eat then theirs nothing wrong, but in the end if you dont eat meat you may lack things in your body that you might need and when you get older you'll pay for it, for example some people never drink milk when their young because they dont like it, when they hit their 40s they have weak bones, eating meat will help you bruse less, meat is a important thing in someones diet, as with any food and whatever they lack itll come to haunt them,
You want to know what I honestly think? I think you're a bad mother for being so opposed to your daughter's beliefs. You can't possibly say that eating meat is morally right.
Look, it's her body. When I was young and first discovered that chicken is actually made from chooks, I had exactly the same reaction as her. If she wants to do the right thing and really make a difference to the world, let her. She might even grow out of it if that's what you're really worried about.
But to say that vegetarians are unhealthy is ignorant. On average they live longer and suffer less heart disease. But, true, to be a healthy vegetarian you really do need to watch what you eat.
I could rant all day on your stupid, ignorant post but I won't. Being vegetarian and having a mother who is opposed to vegetarianism can foster a huge resentment towards the mother. My grandmother is opposed to my and mum's beliefs and mum once told me that she has lost some of her respect for grandma. Be careful how you react to your daughter, otherwise you might lose her one day.
EDIT: Not sure if you'll read this but anyway:
Since you're being so defensive, it's obviously got nothing to do with being healthy etc. It's just because you're daughter's "different" and it's bothering you! Take a step back and look at yourself.