Vegan parents: Does the rest of the family agree with how you raise your kids?!
And by the rest of the family I mean, parents, parents in law etc.
How do you deal with family members that are really against your life style, and try to push you to give your kids meat and dairy?
People are really shocked when I tell them I don't plan to give my child any cow's milk ever. And I'm tired of always having to defend my choices. What do you do?
Answers: If you raise them vegan as well that is.
And by the rest of the family I mean, parents, parents in law etc.
How do you deal with family members that are really against your life style, and try to push you to give your kids meat and dairy?
People are really shocked when I tell them I don't plan to give my child any cow's milk ever. And I'm tired of always having to defend my choices. What do you do?
Um... I don't have much of an extended family. They've all died from either their horrible diet, smoking, drinking, or a combination thereof. Only my mother is left and she's falling apart. When I was at home when younger, they were against the way I wanted to eat, but mainly because they wanted to push my buttons and piss me off etc. Once I moved out, good-bye, it all ended.
As far as strangers are concerned, I never have to defend myself -- most people know the facts, they just choose to ignore them. What you do is turn it around on them. It used to be a sport of mine to turn everyone's questions and comments right around back at them... have long since gotten bored with that, but give it a try -- it's great fun.
Basically I just make an example of myself and my family... we're all generally healthy, strong, fit, -- compared to the other kids and babies... doing far better than most.
We do have some family friends who's mother keeps trying to give our kids candy and all sorts of food that we tell them not to give to them... but she still persists... makes me very angry. And basically I'm fed up and if she does it again, the sh*t will hit the fan. It's about respecting others and their choices etc.
well personally I won't be pushing my diet on my future children until they are a wee bit older and out of the 'picky eater stage'. I think it's important for them to get a well rounded meal, but they are totally not going to eat my elaborate veggie dishes with all the spice and tofu. I will make that a main part of their meal but I will be making them have dairy and eggs if they can (I am allergic I assume they will be too). I plan to breast feed so they will be getting my milk... so does breast feeding go against your lifestyle choice? I have heard two sides of a vegan arguement about breast milk...
Well, you've made your choice. That's pretty much the end of it. You don't have to answer questions. But, if you must. Just stay read up on the subject. Be able to explain how you substitute so they can rest assured your children are not malnourished. I have one child who decided to stop eating meat. I like the challenge of finding recipes so I can cook for her. My other children and i eat vegan and vegetarian side dishes. It has benefited us all. I don't try to explain it. You don't have to either.
It still the sole responsibility of the parents to raise their children in the manner which they see fit. That includes diet/food choices,whether omni, vegetarian or vegan. Unless of couse there is phyiscal and/or testimonial evidence that a child is being neglected or abused. Tell them they can do whatever they want with their own kids but leave yours alone.
I'm raising my daughter lacto-ovo vegetarian for now, I am raising her according to what my doctor is recommending that I do. I am lucky to have a doctor that is from India that is very open to vegetarianism and very wise. She's been immensely helpful. I purchase only organic products for my daughter as well (she is 11 months now).
I would like it if she became vegan, but I won't push it on her. She will probably rarely, if EVER, eat meat, though her father (my husband) eats meat, and this is the decision we both made and agreed on. Once she is older and she can make decisions for herself, and with a little education and information, she might decide to remain vegetarian (or even go vegan) or choose to be an omnivore. I am still breastfeeding, so I know she's healthy. She has never had meat and it doesn't look like she will anytime soon.
I am sure my parents will try to get her to eat meat whenever she stays at their house, and therefore I feed my baby before I go and tell them she's been fed, and I breastfeed while I'm there so as to avoid the pressure. I think once my daughter's older, I'll bring along finger-food and my own meals. I'm worrying about daycares and stuff like that too, but I know a little meat very rarely won't hurt her in any way, it's not fair to push my ideology on her, when I would respect and allow my husband or other loved ones to make the same decision as well.
A very tough, but very interesting question. Hard to give a black and white answer... I will have to be flexible, and have to move on if someone puts pressure on me. As she gets older we will probably make her diet more and more vegan, as I said, unless she objects (I will NOT make the mistake of forcing her because that'll just make her rebel and hate me, I know this because of the reverse situation I was in growing up -my parents forced me to eat meat when I was growing up and I didn't want to, and I still harbor harsh feelings to this day that they put their own ideology before mine).
Traceilicious...are you friggin' serious?! child abuse?
I wonder how that would go with authorities:
Trace: Hi, I like to report a child abuse. My neighbor doesn't feed their kids chicken, beef, fish, milk, or eggs, or any animal product.
Authority: Okay. So...a vegan diet.
Trace: Well...yes...vegan food. It's sooooo unhealthy, y'know.
Authority: I don't think that counts as child abuse. They are getting fed adequately.
Trace: Um, but you neeeeed animal products to survive and thrive.
Authority: Are the parents vegan?
Trace: Uh, yes
Authority: Are they alive and well?
Trace: Yes, they're alive, active members of society. They just don't eat meat. It's not right!
Authority: Oooookay. Bye.
----
Set aside my head-shaking, I'm lacto-ovo vegetarian (rarely eating eggs) and my fiance is as well. We plan to raise our kids in a vegetarian household. We can't control what they eat outside the house, but we figure they'll make good choices if we raise them smart. And if they choose to eat meat, we won't love them any less, because we did educate and that was their choice.
My dad is a vegetarian too, so he'd actually be upset if his grandkids were made to eat meat. My fiance's parents are quite accepting of our lifestyle choice. I don't think it's considered wrong to not feed your kid cow's milk at all. You can raise a very healthy child on a vegan diet, many have done so before you. You could find plenty of support groups online. The most important thing is to make sure it gets all the nutrition it needs.
Well I'm not a vegan, but seriously does anyone have a family that agrees with *all* their parenting choices? Because if they do can their family please adopt me!
Do what you believe is best for you and your children, and screw what other people think! Also I'll tell a vegan they have to pay "very close" attention to their kids diet... as soon as I start paying very close attention to mine. ;-) From what I've seen "most" meat eating parents aren't capable of giving their kid a nutritious diet. Ok maybe not most, but many. At least most vegans/vegetarians THINK about what they eat.
PS I love cow's milk, but I will be the first to admit it is junk food. Right up there with chips and chocolate. Afterall chocolate has some good points too... and there have to be some nutrients in potato chips.
BTW I think you'll think this is pretty funny. I was out shopping and for some reason we stopped at a burger joint, usually we go out of our way to get "real" food like thai, jamaican, etc even if it is from a food court. So there I am giving my toddler chicken nuggets and breastfeeding my baby. Now I know that my toddler still breastfeeds and mostly eats very healthy but something struck me as funny giving a baby breastmilk (the best food on earth for kids) and then giving my toddler probably some of the worst food on earth!
Ameena,
Fake Trace is a moron and a nutjob. I would not take that troll seriously at all. In fact, she's a poser and a liar, because she stole the identity of someone else by the same name.
Here's the funny part - my parents raised me lacto-ovo-vegetarian, but I disliked eggs and HATED milk, so I was very nearly a dietary vegan. Gee, Fake Trace should've called CPS on me for abusing myself.
Mike D,
Are you the Palaeolithic diet advocate? You said a few days ago that legumes and grains are unnatural because they are toxic when raw. Isn't that why we cook them? If you argue that cooking is unnatural, then so is clothing. We should all live in the tropics, being tropical animals by nature.
I can't think of anything more selfish or irresponsible than inflicting a vegan diet on a growing child. It is as bad as being a parent who feeds kids soda and junk food to an infant/toddler. You are almost guaranteeing a malnourished child.
For everyone here who thinks it's no one else's business, there are several cases where parents of children malnourished by a vegan diet have been convicted of child abuse. The simple fact is that a vegan diet is unhealthy and unnatural. There are some nutrients that simply CANNOT be obtained from a plant-only diet. Your baby needs fat, cholesterol and protein, especially for brain development.
At the very least you need to give your kids eggs and milk. But you should put aside your faith in veganism for your kids sake. You should also revert to eating animal products during pregnancy and nursing, otherwise you will not give you child the proper nutrition both in utero and through breast milk.
If you consume a lot of soy and are giving birth to a boy, you can expect your son to have birth defects as well. High soy consumption has been linked to malformed penises in male children.
Sean H: A vegan diet has NOT been proven to be healthy. Humans evolved as hunters and gatherers. We evolved to eat meat and other animal products and supplement it with fruit and some root vegetables. A person can survive and thrive on an all meat diet (e.g. the Inuit), but a vegan has to take heroic steps to ensure he/she has a balanced diet.
When humanity adopted agriculture and consumed more plant foods, humans became shorter and fatter. We developed diseases like diabetes that had rarely been seen before, mainly due to higher carbohydrate intake.
A vegan diet, on the contrary, has been proven to be deficient. At least vegetarians have the good sense to include eggs and dairy into their diets. There has never been a completely vegan society.
Bring on the hate. You know you can't argue the facts.
Andromeda: I am not a Paleo advocate, but only because it is not practical given the present human population. What I am against is misinformation and propaganda being passed off as fact. Vegan activists constantly promote the idea that the genus homo evolved eating plant based diet despite mountains of evidence to the contrary. That belief is as ridiculous as creationism.
I am also against endangering children for the sake of a religious dogma (and veganism is a religious dogma based on an irrational anthropomorphization of animals). No question that too many parents endanger their children feeding them processed food "products" rather than real , whole food. But I think vegans are just as guilty of endangering children too with malnutrition.
Sorry to not be exactly the type of person you are looking to answer but anyway. Instead of me being the parent i'm the child. I'm 13 and a vegan. My parents are both meat-eaters so they didn't make me one to. None of my comment really makes sense but i'll post it anyway =]
I hope vegan parents consult a nutritionist before they put their kids on a vegan diet because the diet could kill them if they are not getting necessary nutrients. Babies need different things than their parents.
Mike D - you can think of nothing more irresponsible than feeding a child a diet proven to be healthy? There is a lot more research to demonstrate that than the five poor quality links you created.
Back to the real question, I find the best way to deal with all questions relating to vegetarianism and veganism is to be educated about the facts of nutrition. As a trained health specialist I do have a slight advantage there, but the information is available. The Vegan Society in the UK have produced literature about raising vegan children (listed below, although there are lots of other sources, this is a good starting place). When people see that you know what you are doing, always have a well-educated answer to their question (even when the question is raised to be deliberately provocative) you will ease their minds, but probably not convince them to agree.
And don't let scare stories like the one in the New York Times get to you. These parents gave their children soya milk and apple juice, that is not a vegan diet but a bad diet. Every year, children die from malnutrition from parents who raise their children on every type of diet. It is how well the diet is planned, not whether it is a meat or vegetable diet. It must be planned and balanced to provide all the necessary nutrients, quite possible if you know how. The trick is to make sure you know how and prove it every time some one asks a question!
Hope that helps.
Well I was raised vegan by my mother, and her dad's side was very critical of her.
And I agree, babys are suppose to be breast-fed.
We aren't suppose to drink cow's milk.
I can only speak as a vegetarian father. Myself and my wife have brought our two boys up vegetarian from birth and have never had to defend the decision to anyone. We have never had to because both lads are the healthiest boys around and they are never ill.
If you talk to the average meat eater however they will tell you that you are forcing your choice on others. But this is precisely what a meat eater does. Most of them are to stupid to realize this though.
I find it dangerous unless supervised by a physician and/or nutritionist/dietician. Unless that is in place it can be unintentionally abusive and neglectful. Definitely ripe for a report to the authorities.
Of course anyone who makes inane statements like this: " You go ahead and give your kids milk full of puss [sic] blood and antibiotics" should be reported for polluting the gene pool because they obviously should not be breeding. God pity that poor child raised by this brainless twit.
WELL IMHO (pronounced I'm hoe, like skully would)..,.
as my mentor and lover Skully has said, it is abuse to feed children well-balanced vegan diets. In fact it is impossible to balance a vegan diet because vegans have a poor center of balance, because they do not eat so much fat and aren't super-obese their bellybuttons pull the gravitational force of the universe towards them, crushing their organs and killing the babies inside them!!1!1!!1! I mean it, I saw it on a documentary once about flexitarians being super healthy. You should listen to the Japanese, and the Chinese, they have raised their children like children should be raised, except Hello Kitty is the work of Satan (who now owns Morningstar company!)
please I am sad to say I will now block you, like the thousands of people i have already blocked, like the excessive colon blockage I have enocuntered from eating moose knuckles.
... where am I?
I'm a true vegan. Problem is that you wannabe vegans haven't lived the lifestyle and followed the spiritual path deep enough to know enough so your child isn't deficient in nutrients.
Wannabe vegans should feed their children a balanced mainstream diet so they don't stunt the vulnerable child's growth and development.
I wish I could say, "Go for it". But kids are precious and deserve the best. Unless you are guided by a true vegan or knowledgeable healthcare professional, the potential for neglecting your child is great.
Don't play with your child's life, even if you play with your own.
Haha, Mike D has offered a Weston Price link and a Crown Shakur link.
MAJOR FAIL!!!!!!!
I don't how you can lose any harder than that.
A vegan lifestyle is much much more difficult to obtain a nutritious diet. Growing children are most at risk. A child is at the mercy of the decisions of their parents. Lets face it, NOT ALL parents are CAPABLE of putting in the effort of preparing vegan foods nor are they capable of making sure that the diet is balanced and that the child is getting all the nutrients that they need.
Furthermore they are deciding that the kid will be growing up in a world where they can't eat at many of the establishments that kids hang out at as they are growing up because restaurants are not generally friendly to vegans. I only hope that these children don't grow up deficient in Iron and come down with other degenerative diseases like osteoperosis. It bothers me that you are taking grave risks with the lives of the helpless and innocent.
IMO, it's a form of child abuse until proven otherwise by child protection. I report them when I find them, let social services sort it out.
Come on over, my treat, lets all go over to Burger King for Double Whoppers with chesse.
Like I've said in a similar question awhile back, I report 'em when I find out and have someone check out if the parents know what the hell they are doing before they kill some kid. Had a few kids put into foster care and the parents sent to parenting classes. Don't be playing with your kid's life. BTW you must be very young to make stupid comments like that about milk. Milk is pasteurized and cows are not milked if they have mastitis. Don't be ignorant.