One son a vegetarian - one son not. One son sick at the thought of meat in the house. What to do?!
Answers: One son is a vegetarian and it is easy to provide meals that he enjoys. The problem is that when I prepare meat for others in the family, my vegetarian son is sick at the thought of meat in the house. I repect both son's choices and understand them. What do I do?
First of all, I want to congratulate you on caring and respecting your sons choice to be a vegetarian. But speaking as a vegetarian, I too don't like to be around meat...I mean, we're vegetarian for a reason. I can tell that most (if not all) of the people who have posted answers are not vegetarians, so they don't understand what it is like for us to be around meat.
As far as what to do....it's not an easy situation...he might just have to get used to it...but he certainly DOES NOT need a therapist....that's crazy!
Explain to the vegan that other people do not have to change their lifestyles just because he chose to. Its all about choice, but that he does not have the right to dictate how others live either.
He has to respect what you want to eat as you do with him. In other words he has to live with it or move out.
The vegetarian needs to respect the choices of others, just as they respect his choices. He needs to get over himself, which he will, once he grows up some more.
You'll have to explain to him that others choose to eat meat, and just as they are respecting his wishes not to, he has to respect their wishes to want to!
It sounds like your doing a great job of being fair. How old are the boys? Old enough that one is teasing the other about it? It's important to make both of them respect each other, but it is going to have to be a compromise!
...the "owner" of the house sets the menu... "if" there are those who don't like the menu... find another house.(period)
...next problem...?
Tell you vegetarian son that he is the son and he doesn't run the household. He'll just have to get over it. If he wants to eat something else, he should start cooking his own food. If he's upset about meat in the house, tell him to move out.
You can't let one person's eating choices rule the household, whether it's vegetarianism, diabetes, or heart health. The one with the special diet must learn to tolerate and respect the choices made by others. Home is the perfect place to start.
The vegetarian son is going to have to teach himself not to be literally sickened at the thought, sight, or smell of meats, or he will face problems at college, social events, dating, and lots more.
Tell him to stop thinking about the meat. If it's something that he just can't get over (drama queen), remind him that he's made of meat....
well who pays for the mortgage? although it's great he wants to eat healthier he needs to realize everyone in the house does not feel the same way, so a bit of compromise will have to be done on all parts. Maybe during some dinners serve more veggies and/or having more vegetarian meals, but don't forget to also have a meat to please the other son. Until he gets out on his own he needs to realize you make the rules, not him.
You can't let the vegetarian son impose his attitudes on the whole household. Any vegetarian has to come to terms with the reality that their choices -- while better for the whole world, including the animals we eat -- are not the norm in our country. He will make himself miserable if he doesn't come up with a way to reconcile his own lifestyle with that of others.
For one thing, he will presumably reach an age when he can fix his own food -- unless of course you plan on being a short-order cook for the rest of your life. If he can't deal with what everyone else is eating, he can sit in another room.
I'm serious, he's just one person and there are others in your family. You're being too accomodating IMO
Tell him tough crunchies, live with it you are not the only person in this house.
Its good that you respect both of your sons veiws - you need to teach them to respect each others. Keep the vegetarien food - such as tofu and quorn - in one cupboard and the meat products in another.
It may sound harsh but your son needs to learn that other people eat meat and he needs to accept that for the future as he will be unable to go out for meals or to other people's houses if it means he will feel so ill. You may need to help him overcome this by going to a therapist if it doesnt clear up by it's self.
Good luck
x
By "sick" do you mean physically ill? If so, then a visit to a child therapist is in order to help him through this irrational aversion. In order for him to function in the world, he will have to learn do deal with this issue.
On the other hand, it may be a "control issue", in which case you may be able to "cure' the problem. A therapist could sort this out as well.
However, there are things you could do now that may solve the problem and make the therapist unnecessary. It's kind of hard since I'm not observing the exact nature of his behavior. My best guess is he's engaged in a tantrum for control::
(1) Carry on as you would in any other circumstance. That is, give no undue attention to his "sickness".
(2) Observe if he is "making" himself physically ill. If so, certainly don't let his antics interrupt anything the family is planning to do or is doing.
(3) If this "illness" occurs around meal time, OFFER him the option of eating in his room. Don't cater to him. Let him get his own dishes, food, etc. and transport it to his room or wherever he wants to eat.
(4) In all things, carry on "normally". And never let his "illness" be the focus or allowed to change the family's plans or activities.
Youngsters are quite adroit at exerting control beyond their years. Doting parents are "easy" marks--especially when "illness" is involved. Vegetarians can be controlling as well. Put a 10yr. boy and strict vegetarianism together an you have an insufferable kid. You will definitely have to be firm and BE MOM!!!
get each a different dinner and if the 10 year old hates meat in the house tell him he isnt the only one in the house and that u are the one geting each their own good food and that they should be happy with what they have
He is going to have to be around meat, and meat eater, for the rest of his life! Good on you for supporting his choices, but also explain to him the need, and benefit of learning tolerance in life...
tell him to grow up and eat meat and be healthy