Oops, I just got upset with a friend who eats meat.?!


Question: A few of us were in the canteen, talking about why we were/were not vegetarian. All my girl friends who were not gave - well reasonable - reasons that they were veggie. However, the only male present said he ate meat because he enjoyed it with wine. I lost my cool with him, and told him it was one of the weakest reasons I had ever heard for someone eating meat, and that the fact that he liked it with meat cut no ice with me. Then I walked off.

I actually do feel this - that his was a useless reason for eating meat. However, I will have been perceived as being in the wrong for getting angry, and that it is not my business why he eats meat. But it does really wind me up when people have trivial reasons. It is not like he has to survive to eat it.

What should I do, given that I don't regret the things I said (maybe I do regret it getting to me)?

How do other veggies/vegans feel about such issues?


Answers: A few of us were in the canteen, talking about why we were/were not vegetarian. All my girl friends who were not gave - well reasonable - reasons that they were veggie. However, the only male present said he ate meat because he enjoyed it with wine. I lost my cool with him, and told him it was one of the weakest reasons I had ever heard for someone eating meat, and that the fact that he liked it with meat cut no ice with me. Then I walked off.

I actually do feel this - that his was a useless reason for eating meat. However, I will have been perceived as being in the wrong for getting angry, and that it is not my business why he eats meat. But it does really wind me up when people have trivial reasons. It is not like he has to survive to eat it.

What should I do, given that I don't regret the things I said (maybe I do regret it getting to me)?

How do other veggies/vegans feel about such issues?

I don't blame you, it can be hard to bite your tongue at times. I try to remember that attacking people will only make them more defensive about vegetarianism in the future and this won't help any animals.

Maybe you could say something like, "I'm sorry I lost my cool. I've seen so many videos of animals being abused on factory farms and slaughtered while they're fully conscious. It angers me when people dismiss this suffering so easily, so I hope you can understand why I reacted the way I did. I'll make sure that I express my opinions in a calmer way in the future."

Why should anyone have to give you a reason? What makes you judge and jury?

wow, you are pretty lame

if no one ate meat, we would run out of vegetables

It is absolutely someone's own personal choice as to whether or not they eat meat.

You may find that you "catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." And that you are a better teacher by example than by judgmental behavior.

In other words, when people see you are healthy and reasonable and a well-rounded person, and THEN they find out you're vegan or vegetarian, it impresses them.

But a bully may have just exactly the opposite effect.

I'm a veggie but my philosophy is live and let live. You can't change other people's minds for them. My best friend eats meat because she feels if an animal had a decent free range life then its okay to eat meat, after all if she didn't eat it it wouldn't be born or have a life to begin with. I personally cannot eat an animal, I feel its wrong, but people in my life are more important to me then me being right, my friends respect my beliefs and I respect theirs. Well we try! Sometimes though if I can mention a doc. which may open their eyes to buying free range, I do.

He may also feel that your reasons for NOT eating meat are trivial.
Live and let live.

Honestly, people's reasons to eat what they do are entirely personal. I don't meddle or attack people because of their diet. If someone asks me for specifics as to why I eat a vegan diet, I tell them. If they don't, I keep it to myself.

His diet is his choice and his business. What he chooses to consume is on him, it's entirely his personal decision. You aren't his boss, mother, savior or anything else. You should give him the freedom to eat whatever he likes - you enjoy the same freedom as well, don't you?

I think you risk losing a friend and alienating yourself if you can resent someone that is otherwise a fantastic mate just because you don't like the fact that he eats meat or his reasoning behind it. You can't "convert" people unless they come to you and are willing. Anger and pushiness are poor tactics. Be a good friend, let it go.

U should stop being sanctimonious. Its not your place to judge someone's reason for enjoying meat. He has a NATURAL right as a human being to enjoy eating what he chooses as long as it doesnt take away from other humans.

You should regret it.. because you are no better than he, just because you are a vegan.

As a vegetarian:
Sounds like you sort regret it or you wouldn't be writing. You might want to just tell him that you know you came on a little strong.

This is a matter of evolution - some of us have evolved beyond and some of us have not yet. It is not morally wrong to eat meat in our culture, so you can't really hold that against a person. He just isn't there with you yet.

You catch more flies with honey. If you want someone to actually hear your reasonable discourse on the subject, you might want to tone it down & avoid personal attacks.

Who are you to judge who other people eat? If you don't like it, don't hang out with this guy any more. Let other people eat what they want. Just because you're a vegetarian doesn't mean everyone else has to be.

i think there are far greater things to worry about in this world than the fact that your friend likes to eat meat with wine. so juvenile...

Get over yourself................

If people want to eat meat - LET THEM ENJOY it!

It isn't your place to turn the world into vegheads.............

Just tell him that you are sorry for overreacting, that his choices are as valid as yours and that while you don't agree with his choice and feel passionately about yours you recognize that you were out of line by yelling at him. Tell him you hope it doesn't come between your friendship.

Because even if you do feel this way you severely over reacted and blew up at someone who wasn't looking for a fight. The wine remark was probably a joke and he was being flippant; most people don't go veggie simply because they have no desire to. It's just that that doesn't end up a very good answer either.

Calm yourself and don't get so self righteous. You can't change other people.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion whether or not we agree with them. That's the difference between, "I like it" and "Its good".
You can apologize for your behaviour but no need to apologize for your convictions/beliefs/opinions.

If it wasn't tasty no one would eat meat.

you should not of questioned him in the first place.
that is HIS business, NOT yours.

& he was obviously nice enough to give you the reason that he thought was reasonable.

so suck it up and get your big girl panties on(:

I'm not a vegitarian. but I do agree thats a lame reson to justify eating meat. I think you should apoligize simply because it is his right to eat it if he wishes. just as it is your right not to if you so chose. hear is a good reason for eating meat. it's got more protein than any fruits or vegitables and it is easeir to diegest than tofu and vegitables.

I'm a meat eater. I don't do well on a vegetarian only diet. I do realise that some people do not eat meat because it doesn't suit their digestion, and when I am cooking for such people I take their dietary needs into consideration.

I think you're ridiculous to judge someone so harshly by what they eat.

I think that you losing your cool, you will never be looked upon as a good source of information. What if one day he did want to become veg? He would never go to you because you seem a little hyper and judgmental. We should support each other, not judge each other. Through understanding you can get your point across and feel secure in your choices.

Have you never eaten meat? Do you eat dairy? Eggs? Have you ever? You said that you are vegetarian, I am vegan, does that mean I should lose my cool because you are still supporting the meat industry?

He may have been trying to annoy you, in which case, you did not represent very well. He may have been sincere, in which case, what more can you ask for? It was an open conversation...

Good luck fellow veg!

You talk abour being "reasonable" but losing your cool about why some like or not meat is way out of line. No one have to give anyone a "good reason" on why they eat or not eat meat.

If you want to express your ideas you need to learn to respect other people's ideas. No body is going to care about having and adult conversation with you if they think you are going to make a scene out of it.

Use reason and not rage to support your ideas.

You are welcome to your feelings, but you did ask the question and he gave you an honest answer. You should respect that. If I were you, I would apologize to him for getting angry. Personally, I don't care about other people's reasons for eating meat and I don't get mad at them if they do even if they don't have a reason for eating it. There are more important things in life to stress about.

I think you made a mistake losing your temper like that. It's not a legitimate reason at all, but let's face it, most dietary choices are made for emotional reasons. If someone said they just like the taste, how would that be different from saying they like the taste with wine?

I suggest you go tell him that he misunderstood you and you were only giving your opinion, so he shouldn't take it personally. Just laugh it off.

You need to stop talking about being vegetarian all the time,

That is your first problem.

If someone says that they eat meat because the sky is blue, guess what, storming off won't make them care any more. It just makes you look like a freak. If you want people to go vegetarian, you need to act like a calm and rational person that can handle her own emotions.

i eat meat because it is delicious. why should i deprive myself of something that i love because you hippies think meat is murder. i would much rather get my protein from meat than from crappy tofu and beans. i eat them sometimes but as a side, not my main source of protein.





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