Is making an "i think that's icky' face about someone else's food really that rude?!


Question: ok, so i used to be a vegetarian and had to introduce some meat into my diet b/c my daughter can't eat wheat or gluten and quite frankly i don't have time to make 2 meals at every meal...so then years later my dad becomes disabled and moves in....he eats red meat and pork and i just can't do that...but i will make it . sometimes he catches me making faces at the food and it drives him nuts...am i truly being that rude? i mean we are family and my husband thinks it's kinda cute that it bothers me...never that i am being rude...just thought i'd ask


Answers: ok, so i used to be a vegetarian and had to introduce some meat into my diet b/c my daughter can't eat wheat or gluten and quite frankly i don't have time to make 2 meals at every meal...so then years later my dad becomes disabled and moves in....he eats red meat and pork and i just can't do that...but i will make it . sometimes he catches me making faces at the food and it drives him nuts...am i truly being that rude? i mean we are family and my husband thinks it's kinda cute that it bothers me...never that i am being rude...just thought i'd ask

I think it's only rude if it bothers someone. The fact that you are the one preparing the food kind of gives you the right. But on the other hand, it's encouraging rude behaviors in your child. If it's a private joke between the family it's fine. Just make sure you don't do it elsewhere. That would be very rude, even to a close friend. (make sure your daughter knows the same is true for her) You know how kids like to make faces at food. You don't want to encourage it.

yes, it shows that you dont like the food that they like or think they're being gross by eating it, but if they don't mind, then go ahead and make faces

im not saying u r a bad person, but go ahead if you want to

you're not being rude because it's just not something you like but he probably thinks he's a bother because the meat bothers you so much.

I don't think you're being rude, just honest. We can often control what comes out of our mouths, but not what our facial expressions do, especially if you're an opinionated person to begin with. Plus, I would think the bond between a Father and Daughter could withstand the scrutiny, he knows how you have chosen to eat in the lifestyle of vegetarian and he should accept the way you are and also grateful that you have accomodated your cooking methods for him. You are being respectful of your Fathers feelings, a well brought up daughter, in my eyes, always putting your children, husband and parents first and considering their feelings before your own. You sound like a very caring, loving and respectful daughter who cares about your family very much, don't worry about the facial expressions, I can't control them either and when confronted about them, I always say, "I love that recipe, it's just not my "Thang........." trying to inject a little humor to smooth things over. Matter of fact, I just did that yesterday at Easter Dinner and it was no big deal. Hope this helps you out with your dilemma.

It does bother me when someone makes the icky face when they don't like what I'm serving. I always tell my daughter and neices that you never make people feel bad when you don't like something they serve you. Just simply say "thank you but I don't care for that" and move on. But I will give you kudos for preparing meat when you don't eat it yourself, that takes a lot of heart to do something when you don't agree with it. Maybe you should just make the icky face when you are alone in the kitchen.

sorry to say but it is kinda rude.. just because i don't eat meat.. i try really heard to not make faces at people who do.. my husband and step-son still do so i do have to cook it every night.. it's just like if you went over seas to another culture, and people were making faces at you because you did things the way you were brought up.. it's not your fault, and you wouldn't want the glares because of it.. so just think if you were the one to be looked at that way.. so yeah.. that's my 2 cents and take it for what it's worth.. :o)

It sounds like you have an unresolved issue with meat.

I am still confused about "used to be a vegetarian". there are many people that are vegetarian and have issues with wheat, either themselves, or family.

Not rude, but if it annoys him, why would you want to bother your dad?

no, it's not.

It think that it is rude from either side of the food agenda. It is one thing to do it in private but another to do it in front of others.

You make it for him. That gives you the right to think it is "icky!"

Not if he can't see it. If I were in your place however, I would serve him what I was serving my family. If he has to have things you normally would not prepare, let him make arrangements to suit himself. Compromising is his place since he is living in yours!

i don't think it's a big deal... you sound like it's something you don't even realize your doing. i'd try to avoid it, but it's kind of like when you smell something gross and your nose krinkles up. it's not the hugest deal in the world, your not making rude comments, just try to avoid it if you do catch yourself doing it.

Well, how would you feel if the situation were reversed? Say, if you'd made something & he pulled a face at it? I do get your point...I cringe when I see meat being cooked etc, but have also had lots of people turn their nose up at my vegan cooking, which drives me mad too. So I can see both parts.

Just out of interest, can your daughter not eat soya mince? Just thinking of an alternative to meat for you?

In one way though, you're way more tolerant
than me...my boyfriend is omni & there is no way I'll cook meat for him. I just can't/won't do it!

I sometimes make faces when my fiance eats shrimp or I see him ripping the fat off of a raw piece of chicken... it drives him crazy too.

I genuinely don't do it on purpose. I try very hard not to make faces at people's meals, because I'm sure I wouldn't appreciate it very much either.

I'm sure there are some things you eat that he thinks are icky, right? My friends make weird faces at my food choices all the time come to think of it...

Yes, it is rude. How would you feel if every time you picked up a piece of broccoli someone made a face at you and said, "Ewww... I can't believe you eat that. That's disgusting! Don't you know what that is!?!"

I would think it is rude if someone did that to me if I was eating spinach, so I don't make faces and comments at people eating steaks.

But, why are you making "icky faces" at his meat when you also eat meat. Why is the bacon more off limits than the pollo al carbon?

Control yourself. It's alright to think someone else's food is gross... just don't show it, it's rude.

That's funny because my father makes faces at the VEG things I eat (mock meat, etc). But at least my food didn't die a horrible bloody death. Hey, it's not like you're making the faces on purpose!

It's not that it's rude, as you are just expressing yourself. It's that it's equivalent to making a judgemental remark. Basically, if you react in a way that creates discomfort for another, it's up to you to decide if you're ok with that or not. Some people wish to be very sensitive to the comfort of others, and other people feel that they don't wish to censor themselves but that others should not take things so seriously. Frankly, it's a personal choice, just like with what we choose not to say to others (opinions) even though we may be thinking it.

yes, it is rude, but, if you have to make it but you don't want to eat it because it is disgusting, maybe you could turn your face when you do that, or make the face while you are preparing the food, not when you are serving it.

I once knew an Indian vegan whose family had married her to a man who ate meat. According to her culture, because she was married to the man, she had to a good wife and cook the stuff, but everything about the way she had been raised said that the meat was disgusting and bad and against religious rules. She told me that she felt like she was going to throw up when she had to make meat dishes, and she wore rubber gloves to make them so she would not touch them. Still, she had to smile and make nice at dinner.
I did feel sorry for her.





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