Should I become a vegetarian to save our relationship?!
Answers: We've been together for 3+ years. He was a vegetarian when we first met. He now says that its a deal breaker if I don't become a vegetarian. It is a moral issue for him. I respect his views but I do not have the same degree of attraction/commitment to this issue. I want the relationship to work but find myself resenting his "mandate." Should I fake it to keep the relationship going?
Don't fake it, either be veggie, or don't.
Faking it is lying to him and yourself.
Whats worth more: the meat, relationship or mutual respect ?
We all compromise for our partners in one way or another. If we love them, we are happy to compromise. What we eat, where we live, what jobs we do, what we do at weekends, where you go on holiday, cars you buy, homes you buy....all examples. This is true of him and you.
I would say discuss it with him. You see, we have nothing to loose here so our advice doesn't really count for much. Whereas you and him have potentially a lot to loose so it should be a discussion between the 2 of you.
This is a ridiculous demand. Dump him!
What would he say if you said it was a deal breaker if he didnt eat a lamb steak?
Its not right to force your opinions on others.
If he forces this one on you, what might he twist your arm behind your back for later in the relationship?
I would not change just to suit somone else, unless it really didnt bother you.
Hrmm.. I wouldn't break it off.. Don't dump him.. If he really loves you, you being a vegetarian shouldn't matter to him.. Talk to him about it let him know how you really feel about it.. Don't fake it to keep it going.. If he doesn't wanna be with you because of this, its stupid.. Hope all works out for you and wish you luck in your future together! PEACE!
You shouldn't fake it at all (unless you've been faking all this time and he thinks you're a vegitarian)
He shouldn't be trying to change you but should love you for who you are. He can't control your tastebuds or what you like and dislike in life.
If it's a "moral" issue for him like in the same catagory as if he was pro-life and you were pro-choice, it could be tough and he needs to know that there are different people out there with different points of view.
This just came up after three years? Sounds like an excuse.
only if you are a werewolf
I think if he really loved you he would not demand you to be something your not. If you decide to fake it, it will not solve the problem. You will resent him. And if you let him away with this, what will he want you to change next. Don't do it.
You shouldn't become a vegetarian unless it's something YOU really want to do. If you do it just to keep your relationship or just to please someone, you're bound to fail and bound to feel resentment. And you shouldn't fake anything; that is the same as lying, and that can also kill a relationship.
Would he consider a compromise where you just don't eat meat around him?
That is a strong negative. If you fake it that you are a vegetarian you will grow to resent him and have a fake relationship. He has pronounced you and all occasional meat eaters "immoral". He won't change at his age.
Let him move on. This is his excuse to end the relationship and to move on to another woman. After all, for 3 years you were a tolerable omnivore, but not now.
You should move on to a person more suited to your personality; move on to someone to loves you just as you are!
Non-judgementally yours,
Angela
(Vegetarian)
man whats his problem.you've been together for 3 years and he's just saying this now.oh OK i get it he waited until you got attached to him that when he demanded this of you you wouldn't break it off with him clever guy.look if it was the other way around he wouldn't change he would be like you met me this way and stayed with me knowing I'm a full blow veg eater.so he shouldn't make you change the way you eat.yeah people do change for each other when they really love each other but not that drastic of a change.if you do it or fake it some day it will come out and then what will happen.be who you are not who he's trying to make you be.
No don't fake it but try to achieve a compromise that he can agree to. Like, no meat in the home, but you eat it outside or something like that.
If he doesn't even want the compromise, it means he is idealizing you and wants you to believe in the same standards he does. You have to explain that you are not the right woman for him then.
No, faking it will only cultivate resentment and the relationship will eventually fail.
If he can't respect your right to be who you are then he may not be worth keeping.
Is there room to compromise? Can you be a part time vegetarian and eat meat only on weekends or something? If not then tell him the truth about how you feel about this ultimatum.
As a veggie myself I want to say "Go vegetarian, but not cause he told you to."
Ultimatums are not good for relationships.
Ask him why he is Vegetarian and why he wants you to be. And listen.
How terrible!
Who makes love ultimatums based on a dietary lifestyle? Gee whiz. That's low.
I'm a vegetarian and I would NEVER say something like that to my boyfriend. If I like him for who he is and how he treats me, then what he does or doesn't eat is his business. Eating meat doesn't make him less of a person.
I can understand that some people feel really strongly about the vegetarian/vegan issue...but if you were like that when you met many years ago and now all the sudden it's a deal-breaking issue, you're better off w/o him.
Don't change your personal convictions and ways of life for a romantic relationship. There's more fish in the sea- find someone who is similar to you and you will probably hit it off just fine.
:-D
maybe he can find a tree hugger after you dump him, humans weren't meant to be vegetarians. eat more meat
I'm a vegetarian and I wouldn't force my partner to change to one just because I'm one. Don't do it, what else will he then later expect you to do everything he says you need to do!
No, break up with him if he can't accept the fact that you do not have the same opinions and do not share his lifestyle. If he can't accept you because of that chances are your relationship will not last.