How to convey to my roomate that she needs to stop cooking meat in my pans then not cleaning them properly.?!
Answers: Okay, so my friend and I moved in together last year to be roomates while going to college. We are both Vegan, she isn't though because she eats chicken, so that kind of defeats the purpose. I came home from school yesterday and she used one of my pans which I told her is fine as long as she cleaned it and didn't cook chicken in it because I can't be near meats. And I went to go get a pan and it smelled like animal grease. I confronted her about it and asked her why she cooked chicken in it when I said please don't. She said she didn't see the big deal, I really am losing respect for her as a friend because she doesn't understand true Vegans don't eat meat at all, thats fine its just the fact she uses my pans and doesn't care what I say. From now on she can use her own. and also the whole kitchen smells like Meat right now I want to puke. I am looking for a new apartment and will be moving out in the next month. Maybe its better if friends don't room together afterall.
I'll bet she doesn't really get how much it bothers you, or she's just responding badly because that's the way she deals with confrontation.
After you both cool off for a day or two, maybe you can talk about it calmly and come up with a solution that can save your home life and friendship. Just say it really disgusts you to have chicken on your pans, and even to smell it in the kitchen. See if you can word it in a way that just expresses your personal feeling without criticizing her preferences. Then ask if you two can come up with a compromise that you can both live with. Perhaps a designated chicken-friendly frying pan and pot, plus limiting chicken cooking to just a couple nights a week (if you can live with that).
I'll bet you two can work it out. Good luck!
clean your pan's and keep them in your bedroom & lock it when you leave that will stop her from using them.
I was going to try to answer this question, but you already did it for me.
Yes, It'll never work.
Either you move or she moves.
Vegans and carnivores don't live well together.
Store your pans in a different place and put them a certain way where you know when she used them (for instance turn the handle toward the window, if the handle is pointing a different direction, you know she probably used it).
Put a note in your pans that says "Plant Foods only!" When she picks them up she will remember not to use them for meats or dairy.
Good Luck...there's a number of other things you can do. But give her a stern warning again that you are not going to have flesh cooked in your cookware again and don't back down, they are your dishes after all and she should respect them.
Hmm... Why are you both vegan if she eats chicken?
Yes. Better to live apart if you can't stand the smell.
As a vegetarian living in a family of carnivores, I stand firm and make sure that all the dishes are free from any traces of dead animals. It sounds like you are acting kind of passive, just stand firm and make sure she knows that is your home too, and she should respect your wishes. If nothing works, then move out (but don't hurt your friendship). Oh! And how could she ba a vegan if she eats chicken?
It seems like you would be better off living alone. I've had several guy friends want to move in with me, but I was very against the idea. There is nothing wrong with how you feel and think, yet you have to treat people the way you want to be treated. I would suggest you try to resolve the situation as nicely as possible with your friend. Ask if she can use her own pans and buy some odor killer spray or candle, so you won't smell or eat off a meat contaminated pan. If she is a good friend, she'll respect your wishes and try to work with you. If not, maybe you should live alone. Taking an extra job or cutting of extras like going out to the movies can save you a lot of money and allows you to have your own private space and home. It is worth it from my own experience despite the good roommates I've had in the past.
Act cool and relaxed, even if you are screaming inside, don't show like you are really upset cause than people will just think you are too sensitive!
My room mates use to use my stuff and never think about how I felt. I was a really passive person. Well, the only thing I can suggest is hide your pans, and when she asks wher ethey are, just act all cool.
If you have decided to move out than yeah. -
You don't need to "convince" her of anything. They are your pans, and you are doing her a favor by letting her use them. Stop playing nice, and make it clear that this issue is important to you. She probably thinks you're just making a fuss over nothing. Tell her very clearly and firmly that if she doesn't clean them properly, you will not let her use them anymore.
About the smell: God made Lysol spray so we can deal with room-mates who eat different things or are from cultures where they eat really weird things, or both.
About cleaning: You have to impress upon the room-mate that cleanliness is next to Godliness, and talk about where cockroaches come from, and things like that. If that does not work, then you need to take drastic pro-active steps:
If the pots and pans belong to you, you must store them in a place where the room-mate cannot access them. If the room-mate asks for them, you must explain that you have turned kosher and you believe that meat should not be cooked in the same pots and pans you use (who cares if you are not Jewish -- Kosher is really just a term that covers the early diet regulations mentioned in the Bible... Muslims call it "hah-rahm")
If you have to go this far, you need a secret place to store your pots and pans (a box in your room?) where your room-mate cannot get them.
Room-mates are an exciting part of life. They allow us to develop our creativity and learn to function in the presence of weirdness. This can be useful training if you get married.
Different people have different mentality about everything in general. Your friend should have respected and abide by your request and lifestyle. Clearly, she did not bother about your feelings while she is staying in the same apartment. You would be better staying alone or getting someone who has similar standard of living.
Kindly let her know that if she persists to ruining your pans and not cleaning them that you'll have no choice but to start using her bath towels as toilet paper,washing your car,floor mat or anyother disgusting thing to piss her off so she'll grow up and start being responcible.
tell her to get her own pans....its that simple...oh and i cant beleive how many people called us carnivores...how many times to i have to educate you lot...we are O-M-N-I-V-O-R-E-S
hit her with it
;-)
so, what you're saying is, you can no longer be friends with someone if they eat meat? you've lost respect for her, you can't deal with the smell of your kitchen when she cooks her food... it seems to me that vegans are pretty intolerant of other people's lifestyles.
Come on! Clean it yourself or just tell her not to use it!
You have issues!
You sound like a drama Queen!
Get over it!