Problems with bestfriend not accepting me for being vegan?!
I was vegetarian for 2 months before I decided on becoming vegan, now I've been vegan for 2 weeks!. I started going vegetarian because I have a passion for animals that's insane and it breaks my heart to know that there are people out there who continue to hurt, torture and kill them!. So I stopped eating meat!.
Then I felt as though eating meat wasn't doing much as what about those cows who are injected with hormones on dairy farms to produce more than 10L of milk!? Just because they aren't being slaughtered doesn't mean they aren't being treated cruelly!.
My best friend, who I've known since the age of 11 (I am seventeen), is the complete opposite of animal rights and veganism!. She adores fashion, eats meat, and one day wants to own a fur coat!. I've told her my beliefs on this on numerous occasions - and even though I strongly disagree with it, I make an acception for her because she's my best friend and I love her!. However, she refuses to accept me being a vegan!. Why!?Www@FoodAQ@Com
Then I felt as though eating meat wasn't doing much as what about those cows who are injected with hormones on dairy farms to produce more than 10L of milk!? Just because they aren't being slaughtered doesn't mean they aren't being treated cruelly!.
My best friend, who I've known since the age of 11 (I am seventeen), is the complete opposite of animal rights and veganism!. She adores fashion, eats meat, and one day wants to own a fur coat!. I've told her my beliefs on this on numerous occasions - and even though I strongly disagree with it, I make an acception for her because she's my best friend and I love her!. However, she refuses to accept me being a vegan!. Why!?Www@FoodAQ@Com
Answers:
Maybe I'm biased, but she sounds very immature!. Your choice to eliminate animal cruelty from your life is making her reflect on her own lifestyle, whether she wants to or not!. Although she claims to not care about the treatment of animals, if she is human, there is some small part of her that knows some of what she does is wrong (and I can say with conviction that supporting fur is wrong, no debate, no question, just flat out wrong)!. She's lashing out at you as a result!.
I think when you've been friends with someone for so long, it's difficult when one of you makes a big change in her life!. It feels weird when you're best friend suddenly becomes definitively different from you!. She may just be acting out because she doesn't want you to stray from your friendship with her and become too independent!.!.!. the best friend unit is hard to break :)
If she persists in being a witch to you, you need to tell her straight out that you can't keep tolerating that treatment!. Tell her if she wants to continue your friendship she needs to respect your lifestyle and choices!. If she doesn't, maybe it's time to say goodbye to her! Trust me, I've been in a couple of very close, very destructive best-friendships that I would have been better off getting out of early!.
Edit---- NicoleB: I was on board with you 100% until you got to the 'your body needs meat' part!. Some vegetarians and vegans do not eat enough food or nutritious foods, and don't keep track of their vitamin and mineral intake (and possibly take supplements)!. But there are people like that of all diets!. A vegetarian/vegan diet has proven time and again to be a very healthy lifestyle, and in fact increases the lifespan!. It's also been proven to drastically decrease the likelihood of getting heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and many types of cancer!. I promise, it's healthy if you take care of yourself!Www@FoodAQ@Com
I think when you've been friends with someone for so long, it's difficult when one of you makes a big change in her life!. It feels weird when you're best friend suddenly becomes definitively different from you!. She may just be acting out because she doesn't want you to stray from your friendship with her and become too independent!.!.!. the best friend unit is hard to break :)
If she persists in being a witch to you, you need to tell her straight out that you can't keep tolerating that treatment!. Tell her if she wants to continue your friendship she needs to respect your lifestyle and choices!. If she doesn't, maybe it's time to say goodbye to her! Trust me, I've been in a couple of very close, very destructive best-friendships that I would have been better off getting out of early!.
Edit---- NicoleB: I was on board with you 100% until you got to the 'your body needs meat' part!. Some vegetarians and vegans do not eat enough food or nutritious foods, and don't keep track of their vitamin and mineral intake (and possibly take supplements)!. But there are people like that of all diets!. A vegetarian/vegan diet has proven time and again to be a very healthy lifestyle, and in fact increases the lifespan!. It's also been proven to drastically decrease the likelihood of getting heart disease, diabetes, obesity, and many types of cancer!. I promise, it's healthy if you take care of yourself!Www@FoodAQ@Com
It takes 2 to make an argument!. It also sounds like you are pushing your ideals on her as well!. Maybe if you just live your life how you choose and accept others for what they choose without making "vegan" the focal point of every conversation, you will find you have less arguments!.
Try asking this question to a group of non vegans if you want a real answer to your question!. Sounds like you are looking more for a vegan hotline of supportWww@FoodAQ@Com
Try asking this question to a group of non vegans if you want a real answer to your question!. Sounds like you are looking more for a vegan hotline of supportWww@FoodAQ@Com
if she doesn't know how she can be friends with you because you are a vegan, you two were probably not the great friends you thought you wereWww@FoodAQ@Com
just ask her is it worth falling out over your lifestyle choice, :S its sad really!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
OH MY GOD
i couldnt even get thru half ur question it was so long!
if ur freind doesnt accept u for being vegan its HER CHOICE, just like it was YOUR CHOICE to become a vegan!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
i couldnt even get thru half ur question it was so long!
if ur freind doesnt accept u for being vegan its HER CHOICE, just like it was YOUR CHOICE to become a vegan!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
best of luckWww@FoodAQ@Com
Your friends should accept you and respect you for however you choose to live! Do your thing and hang in there!Www@FoodAQ@Com
she just hates animals, be a good friend and shove salad up her keyhole!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
she must not be your true best friend if she doesn't accept your lifestyle!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
i'd just like to point out that it's possible to be vegan AND adore fashion!. there are lots of fashion designers who create vegan lines - although they are way expensive :) just wanted to share my own shallowness!.
as far as your question, i think you can calmly explain to your friend that she doesn't need to agree with your believes and she doesn't need to become vegan and you don't think badly of her for her ideas, but she DOES need to support you - even if it's only because she is your friend!. tell her it's very important to you and that you're hurt when she belittles your ideas!. also, try not to preach your ideas to her as it won't do you any favors!. good luck and i hope she comes around!. maybe when you've been vegan for a while, she'll see that it isn't a passing fad but something you really care about!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
as far as your question, i think you can calmly explain to your friend that she doesn't need to agree with your believes and she doesn't need to become vegan and you don't think badly of her for her ideas, but she DOES need to support you - even if it's only because she is your friend!. tell her it's very important to you and that you're hurt when she belittles your ideas!. also, try not to preach your ideas to her as it won't do you any favors!. good luck and i hope she comes around!. maybe when you've been vegan for a while, she'll see that it isn't a passing fad but something you really care about!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
So-what are your feelings towards those cruel lions who hunt down and torture other animals in the wild for food!? Are you ok with that, or do you plan on teaching them not to eat meat!?
How can it be ok for one animal to eat meat(lions) but not ok for another animal to eat meat (humans)!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
How can it be ok for one animal to eat meat(lions) but not ok for another animal to eat meat (humans)!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
It sounds like SHE is the one with the problem here!. There's probably not much you personally can do to change her, nor should you!. I have always had a Live And Let Live policy on life!. We shouldn't have to change ourselves for anybody esle, but we can't change them either!. People are who they are!. What you CAN do, however, is refuse to take part in the "I Hate Veganism" conversations!. Just agree to disagree!. That doesn't mean it will work with her!. She might cannot get past it, which if that's the case, you don't need to surround yourself with the negativity she puts off anyway!. Move on!.
Vegetarians/Vegans for the most part are kind, open-minded, even spiritual people!. It drags your psyche down to continuously have heated discussions in which you feel you must defend yourself and your beliefs!. it's just not good for you emotionally to be put in that position repeatedly!. Again, if she just cannot get past it, I'd definitely reconsider the friendship!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Vegetarians/Vegans for the most part are kind, open-minded, even spiritual people!. It drags your psyche down to continuously have heated discussions in which you feel you must defend yourself and your beliefs!. it's just not good for you emotionally to be put in that position repeatedly!. Again, if she just cannot get past it, I'd definitely reconsider the friendship!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Don't worry about it!. I am seventeen and also recently went vegan!. My boyfriend, on the other hand, is completely opposite!. He eats meat like it's going out of fashion (which hopefully it is) and likes to fish and can't wait to go hunting!. It makes him angry because he can't make me food and I don't eat alot of what his family eats (they are a BIG italian family)!. For a first approach, you can try making recipes that are versatile, that is what me and my mother have started doing and it works for us!. Make cous cous and greens that can easily have meat added to them and make sure that you stay neutral!. I know it's disgusting but maybe offer to cook her meat for her while she tries to cook whatever you're having!. If she's open to trying new foods this may be good for her!. If she still bashes your new lifestyle choice then maybe you should try and explain how you remain neutral because you care for her and don't want to offend her!. I hope this helps and good luck!Www@FoodAQ@Com
People change a lot at y'all's age!. It may well be time to part ways, even if it is just for a while!. It's hard to accept that sometimes people can't even agree to disagree!. This is the time to move on!. She is exploring her options as you are, and although the choices get pretty extreme at the ages of 15 - 21, we tend to settle down to compromises as life teaches us more lessons!. I hope you guys can get back together in the future, but it really sounds like a break from each other would be good for both of you!. Good luck!Www@FoodAQ@Com
I'm about to turn 22 and believe me girls that age and even now ,can be down right rude!. If she can't accept you don't be friends with her!. If you start demanding respect you will have less stress!. I personally wouldn't be a vegan but if that's how you want to live more power to you!. I wouldn't treat you any different!. I believe in god and my brother is an atheist and I accept that he doesn't believe but he couldn't accept that I did believe and we had a ton of arguments!. But now he understands that if he wants to continue to communicate with me or visit my house that he can't say rude comments about being christian!. good luckWww@FoodAQ@Com
She's not being a very good friend!. I'm 21 and my best friend since 3rd grade became veggie shortly after I did, and then her husband became one and now we have a circle of friends who are all vegetarian! We never asked anyone to be veggie and pretty much kept our mouths shut, but when people see good examples, they often follow, and if they don't follow they should at least be understandingWww@FoodAQ@Com
I remember two years ago when I was a sophomore, I had a best friend since I was like 12 and I loved this girl more than life itself!. She was my best friend, but suddenly she started doing drugs and I told her that I would appreciate it if she would not do them around me!. My best friend got so mad at me and she told me that we could no longer be friends unless if I let her do drugs around me and if I joined in once in a while so she can actually have fun!. She was telling me the only way we could have fun is if we did drugs!. I just could not believe my best friend was not respecting my values, especially since my sister's best friend has been brain dead for 7 years, because of doing drugs!. Did I want my best friend to end up like that!? No, but every time we talked we ended up fighting and being annoyed with one another!.
I hate saying this, but sometimes people change and no matter how hard it hurts (and trust me it hurts like hell) we sometimes have realize that walking away is the best solution!. No matter how much you love your best friend, the truth is that friendship is a two way street and when one of the two stops making the effort, the relationship becomes broken!.
Your friend just sounds like the typical teenager and a popular Paris Hilton wannabe (which is so disgustingly over rated)!. However, you might want to make sure she is just not worried about you!. Did you know your body needs meat!? Meat is really good for your skin and physical strength!. A girl that I am very close to was a vegetarian too!. She has been one for several years, but suddenly she had to start eating meat!. Her doctor told her if she stayed with her eating life style she would most likely die at a younger age and suffer very severe health problems in the near future!. She was having severe dizzy spells and did not have enough strength to carry out daily activities without getting exhausted right away!. As a substitute, She will occasionally (like once every other week eat real meat) and eat vegetarian meat often!. This helped her get the vitamins that are vital to keeping a person's body and bones strong!.
I am not saying your life style and morals are wrong (because they definately are not), I am just saying you should try vegetarian meat and stuff every once in a while so you will not become sick!
I love animals too, I have a pet rabbit that I got from a shelter two years ago for a birthday present (I wanted to give something a better life)!. He came from a home where these people left him outside in the cold half starved and sick!. Now he is just a little chubby(even though he get exercise all the time) and spoiled, but Love him! I support your choices in respecting animals!!!Www@FoodAQ@Com
I hate saying this, but sometimes people change and no matter how hard it hurts (and trust me it hurts like hell) we sometimes have realize that walking away is the best solution!. No matter how much you love your best friend, the truth is that friendship is a two way street and when one of the two stops making the effort, the relationship becomes broken!.
Your friend just sounds like the typical teenager and a popular Paris Hilton wannabe (which is so disgustingly over rated)!. However, you might want to make sure she is just not worried about you!. Did you know your body needs meat!? Meat is really good for your skin and physical strength!. A girl that I am very close to was a vegetarian too!. She has been one for several years, but suddenly she had to start eating meat!. Her doctor told her if she stayed with her eating life style she would most likely die at a younger age and suffer very severe health problems in the near future!. She was having severe dizzy spells and did not have enough strength to carry out daily activities without getting exhausted right away!. As a substitute, She will occasionally (like once every other week eat real meat) and eat vegetarian meat often!. This helped her get the vitamins that are vital to keeping a person's body and bones strong!.
I am not saying your life style and morals are wrong (because they definately are not), I am just saying you should try vegetarian meat and stuff every once in a while so you will not become sick!
I love animals too, I have a pet rabbit that I got from a shelter two years ago for a birthday present (I wanted to give something a better life)!. He came from a home where these people left him outside in the cold half starved and sick!. Now he is just a little chubby(even though he get exercise all the time) and spoiled, but Love him! I support your choices in respecting animals!!!Www@FoodAQ@Com
People change!. We all grow and change!. That's what we do!. As we grow and form our opinions on where we stand on various issues we are often faced with challenges that are the consequences of those actions and choices!.
At seventeen you are exactly in that place between your social consciousness and heartfelt idealism on the one hand and your romantic notions of attachment to supposed loyalties that were very real ten years ago!. But the truth of the matter is that the friends of our childhood are not who they were any more than we are who we were!. They are changing too and not always in the same direction!.
Growing pains!.
Your friend isn't wrong!. Neither are you!. You have chosen different paths through life!. Yours appears to be a thoughtful, reasoned one and it makes no sense to you that she doesn't share your views, your sensibilities and commitments!. After all you have a vast array of people all of whom share your Vegan views right here at Yahoo Answers, and I am sure you have articulated your point of view often and in detail!. My guess is that you also added some heart felt passion to the delivery of your message -- right!?
So how can it be that she is moving in a diametrically opposite direction in the company of the seemingly vapid fashion conscious, empty-headed mainstream, an obvious dupe of Cosmo, Vogue and 'I Wanna Be A Super Model'!. Right!? It takes forty animals to make one fur coat and only one to wear it!. Right!?
Sweetie, if I read you correctly, you made the big change first and have been telling her how wrong she is for thinking as she does, wanting what she wants, feeling what she feels, and not agreeing with you!. She is probably wondering what happened to her best friend with whom she could share everything!. My guess is she is pretty hurt!. People who are hurt behave by protecting themselves the only way they know how -- by removing themselves from the people who hurt them!. So ask yourself this, has she rejected your being a Vegan and not accepted you for this huge change in your life, or is it that you have made a political and personal choice that has driven the wedge between you; or is it the manner in which you speak about these things that matter to you so deeply, that has alienated her!? Have you made her feel 'wrong'!? Less of a noble person, less of a lovable person, less of a friend!?' You 'make an exception for her because you love her'!? That sounds pretty patronizing to me!. Sorry!. I think you need to examine your relationship from a different standpoint and maybe take some responsibility for the rift!. Nothing comes from nothing!. In the world of causation every effect began somewhere!.
Not everyone is vegan!. Not everyone is going to be!. But everyone deserves his/her own place on the planet too, no less than the chickens, pigs, sheep and cows!. Right!? Respect for all life is the point -- not just respect for the poor, enslaved, mistreated animals!. Think about it!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
At seventeen you are exactly in that place between your social consciousness and heartfelt idealism on the one hand and your romantic notions of attachment to supposed loyalties that were very real ten years ago!. But the truth of the matter is that the friends of our childhood are not who they were any more than we are who we were!. They are changing too and not always in the same direction!.
Growing pains!.
Your friend isn't wrong!. Neither are you!. You have chosen different paths through life!. Yours appears to be a thoughtful, reasoned one and it makes no sense to you that she doesn't share your views, your sensibilities and commitments!. After all you have a vast array of people all of whom share your Vegan views right here at Yahoo Answers, and I am sure you have articulated your point of view often and in detail!. My guess is that you also added some heart felt passion to the delivery of your message -- right!?
So how can it be that she is moving in a diametrically opposite direction in the company of the seemingly vapid fashion conscious, empty-headed mainstream, an obvious dupe of Cosmo, Vogue and 'I Wanna Be A Super Model'!. Right!? It takes forty animals to make one fur coat and only one to wear it!. Right!?
Sweetie, if I read you correctly, you made the big change first and have been telling her how wrong she is for thinking as she does, wanting what she wants, feeling what she feels, and not agreeing with you!. She is probably wondering what happened to her best friend with whom she could share everything!. My guess is she is pretty hurt!. People who are hurt behave by protecting themselves the only way they know how -- by removing themselves from the people who hurt them!. So ask yourself this, has she rejected your being a Vegan and not accepted you for this huge change in your life, or is it that you have made a political and personal choice that has driven the wedge between you; or is it the manner in which you speak about these things that matter to you so deeply, that has alienated her!? Have you made her feel 'wrong'!? Less of a noble person, less of a lovable person, less of a friend!?' You 'make an exception for her because you love her'!? That sounds pretty patronizing to me!. Sorry!. I think you need to examine your relationship from a different standpoint and maybe take some responsibility for the rift!. Nothing comes from nothing!. In the world of causation every effect began somewhere!.
Not everyone is vegan!. Not everyone is going to be!. But everyone deserves his/her own place on the planet too, no less than the chickens, pigs, sheep and cows!. Right!? Respect for all life is the point -- not just respect for the poor, enslaved, mistreated animals!. Think about it!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
She might feel judged or uncomfortable because your decision, since as you said she eats meat and loves leather and fur, while you are moving towards veganism - she might think that though you are her best friend, you might think she's cruel or doing the wrong thing!.
Even though it's all unspoken, the way you've changed your life (your choices when you guys go out to eat, the clothes you buy now) might be a slow but constant confrontation of her own beliefs!. It's kind of like if she all of a sudden went from being the same religion as you to something polar opposite - you'd probably feel like, "What's wrong with my beliefs, does she think I'm wrong or immoral now, blah blah blah"!.
also, think about whether you have talked a little too much about the things that made you go vegan, maybe even bordering of trying to switch her over as well!. Even with all the best intentions in the world, sometimes it's very easy to cross the line from where you're just informing people about your lifestyle to where you're sort of nagging or over-stating it!.
Maybe take some of the pressure off and really talk to her, say that you're sorry if at any point things might have gone the wrong way!. Make sure you make it clear you want to be her friend and that you don't judge her and that you don't think this is a black and white issue, where you're right and she's wrong, where you're doing the ethical thing and she isn't!. Even if it's a white lie, it's the way things should be!.
However, if it comes out to where you really are the one making all the effort to fix the strain in the friendship, maybe you've just drifted apart!. Sometimes all it takes is for any spat or difference between friends to break the camel's back, so to speak, because there'd already been a long period of time beforehand of gradual drifting apart!. Maybe being vegan isn't even the problem here!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Even though it's all unspoken, the way you've changed your life (your choices when you guys go out to eat, the clothes you buy now) might be a slow but constant confrontation of her own beliefs!. It's kind of like if she all of a sudden went from being the same religion as you to something polar opposite - you'd probably feel like, "What's wrong with my beliefs, does she think I'm wrong or immoral now, blah blah blah"!.
also, think about whether you have talked a little too much about the things that made you go vegan, maybe even bordering of trying to switch her over as well!. Even with all the best intentions in the world, sometimes it's very easy to cross the line from where you're just informing people about your lifestyle to where you're sort of nagging or over-stating it!.
Maybe take some of the pressure off and really talk to her, say that you're sorry if at any point things might have gone the wrong way!. Make sure you make it clear you want to be her friend and that you don't judge her and that you don't think this is a black and white issue, where you're right and she's wrong, where you're doing the ethical thing and she isn't!. Even if it's a white lie, it's the way things should be!.
However, if it comes out to where you really are the one making all the effort to fix the strain in the friendship, maybe you've just drifted apart!. Sometimes all it takes is for any spat or difference between friends to break the camel's back, so to speak, because there'd already been a long period of time beforehand of gradual drifting apart!. Maybe being vegan isn't even the problem here!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
People Are Not Killing Animals Anymore!. Some People Wait Till They Die And Then Make Them!. If You Think Of It This Way, The Meat Is Already Killed And Theres Nothing You Can Do Right!? Its Not Like You Can Make The Meat Come Alive Again Into A Animal!. Plus Maybe Because You Became Vegetarin 2 Months Ago!. You Used to Eat Meat Right!? Maybe Thats Why!.Www@FoodAQ@Com