Vegans and Vegetarians What Do I Do About My Child's Diet?!
I asked this question in the parenting forum and I got torn a new a*** hole!.
Well, I am a vegan and my 3!.6 year old is a vegetarian!. I have full legal physical and sole custody of her and she has 6 hour day visits with her father!. She sees him about 1-4 times a month!.
Lately her father has been giving her things to drank and eat that he knows that she is not supposed to have such as chocolate dairy milk (she drinks soy) and he has given her soda!.
At home, she can have ice cream, I just don't want her to directly drank whole milk, and she usually has soda once-zero times a month!.
My daughter knows that she isn't really supposed to be eating these type of things and so when she gets home, she tells me right away!.
What do I do!? Should I not care that he is giving her these things and say nothing and just let it happen!?
Or should I speak with him about this!?
Some think I am over reacting, others think that I am a control freak, when I just want to raise a healthy child!. It is not like I am the junk food nazi!. She eats pizza, french fries, lolipops!.!.!. just like other children, just not frequently only occasionaly!. She is very healhty and has no cavities!.
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Well, I am a vegan and my 3!.6 year old is a vegetarian!. I have full legal physical and sole custody of her and she has 6 hour day visits with her father!. She sees him about 1-4 times a month!.
Lately her father has been giving her things to drank and eat that he knows that she is not supposed to have such as chocolate dairy milk (she drinks soy) and he has given her soda!.
At home, she can have ice cream, I just don't want her to directly drank whole milk, and she usually has soda once-zero times a month!.
My daughter knows that she isn't really supposed to be eating these type of things and so when she gets home, she tells me right away!.
What do I do!? Should I not care that he is giving her these things and say nothing and just let it happen!?
Or should I speak with him about this!?
Some think I am over reacting, others think that I am a control freak, when I just want to raise a healthy child!. It is not like I am the junk food nazi!. She eats pizza, french fries, lolipops!.!.!. just like other children, just not frequently only occasionaly!. She is very healhty and has no cavities!.
Www@FoodAQ@Com
Answers:
I would speak to your husband, just to get on the same page!. If does have the right to feed your child what he wants, but maybe you can come to some sort of compromise!. You cannot expect him to never give her soda, candy, pizza, etc, when you allow her to have it in your home(however infrequently)!.
You may want to talk to him so you know what she is eating when she is not with you!. This way you can adjust your own menu!. If she had chocolate milk with her dad, then she doesn't eat ice cream(which is made with milk, so I don't see the difference) when she is home!. If he allows her to have a soda, then that is her big treat for the day/week/month, and she has less treats with you!. If she has had candy at your home that week, you can speak to her father about not giving her sugary treats that day!.
I think there needs to be a little give and take, some days she can eat treats with daddy, and other times with you!. You don't want to create feelings of guilt in your daughter when it comes to eating!. She is stuck in the middle, she shouldn't have to report her bad eating habits to you, as if it is a crime(and I am not saying that you are making her, but just the fact that she thinks she is doing something wrong is enough, and could have an impact on her relationship with her dad, her own self esteem, and her future relationship with food)!.
Have an honest and nonjudgmental talk with her dad!. Tell him that you would like her to eat healthy, and if he does give her something unhealthy you would like to know(just so you are on the same page)!. If he is telling you, it also takes the burden off your daughter, when she tells you, you can say!.!.!. "Daddy already told me, don't worry about it!." and this way she doesn't feel like she is secretly doing something wrong when she is with her dad, and can enjoy the time!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
You may want to talk to him so you know what she is eating when she is not with you!. This way you can adjust your own menu!. If she had chocolate milk with her dad, then she doesn't eat ice cream(which is made with milk, so I don't see the difference) when she is home!. If he allows her to have a soda, then that is her big treat for the day/week/month, and she has less treats with you!. If she has had candy at your home that week, you can speak to her father about not giving her sugary treats that day!.
I think there needs to be a little give and take, some days she can eat treats with daddy, and other times with you!. You don't want to create feelings of guilt in your daughter when it comes to eating!. She is stuck in the middle, she shouldn't have to report her bad eating habits to you, as if it is a crime(and I am not saying that you are making her, but just the fact that she thinks she is doing something wrong is enough, and could have an impact on her relationship with her dad, her own self esteem, and her future relationship with food)!.
Have an honest and nonjudgmental talk with her dad!. Tell him that you would like her to eat healthy, and if he does give her something unhealthy you would like to know(just so you are on the same page)!. If he is telling you, it also takes the burden off your daughter, when she tells you, you can say!.!.!. "Daddy already told me, don't worry about it!." and this way she doesn't feel like she is secretly doing something wrong when she is with her dad, and can enjoy the time!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Well no you want her to be healthy!. He's not letting her splurge really either!. But you can tell him you prefer her to eat organicly for the most part!.
You can tell him that she usually drinks soy milk and you have noticed that she becomes slightly sick when she drinks whole dairy milk!. and ask him to give her juice instead!. or at least half a can/cup of soda!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
You can tell him that she usually drinks soy milk and you have noticed that she becomes slightly sick when she drinks whole dairy milk!. and ask him to give her juice instead!. or at least half a can/cup of soda!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Hey i am a vegetarian, and i babysit a vegan who is 3!.
why don't you make a great lunch she loves, and send it with her!. anybody will let someone else do the cooking for a picky kid!. hope this helps
ps!. put something it that is Special and a note to eat it after the rest of the food!.
=)Www@FoodAQ@Com
why don't you make a great lunch she loves, and send it with her!. anybody will let someone else do the cooking for a picky kid!. hope this helps
ps!. put something it that is Special and a note to eat it after the rest of the food!.
=)Www@FoodAQ@Com
I would speak with her father about this!. Do it in a civil manner and you two should be able to come to an agreement!. If her father really cares about her, he'd agree that her health is important too!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
You're not a nazi or a freak, and the answers that say you are are idiots!.
I think you have to have some flexibility when it comes to the foods your daughter has when she's with her dad, but he needs to understand where you are coming from too!. It's understandable that he wants to give her treats when he sees her so rarely, and treats a few times a month aren't horrible!.
I would suggest talking with him when your daughter isn't around and making up some guidelines!. Be prepared to bend a little!. It sounds like your ex is following the no meat thing, and that's great!. Caffeine isn't good for kids, soda isn't much better!. What if you asked him not to give her soda but said that low fat chocolate milk was alright!? Ask him if he could cook for her or take her to a diner instead of fast food, give her a healthy meal and a dessert instead of all junk food!.
Kids today eat too much junk, which is why obesity and diabetes are such a huge concern!. You're doing a good thing!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I think you have to have some flexibility when it comes to the foods your daughter has when she's with her dad, but he needs to understand where you are coming from too!. It's understandable that he wants to give her treats when he sees her so rarely, and treats a few times a month aren't horrible!.
I would suggest talking with him when your daughter isn't around and making up some guidelines!. Be prepared to bend a little!. It sounds like your ex is following the no meat thing, and that's great!. Caffeine isn't good for kids, soda isn't much better!. What if you asked him not to give her soda but said that low fat chocolate milk was alright!? Ask him if he could cook for her or take her to a diner instead of fast food, give her a healthy meal and a dessert instead of all junk food!.
Kids today eat too much junk, which is why obesity and diabetes are such a huge concern!. You're doing a good thing!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Well, if you're vegan, I'm curious why you're raising her vegetarian instead of vegan!. But anyway, are you friendly with her father, or are you the type that are at each others throats all the time!? If you have a pretty stable friendly relationship with him, I think you should try talking to him about it!. Tell him how much it means to you that she doesn't eat certain things, and maybe send along some snacks that you approve of when she visits him!. Maybe the problem is that he doesn't have healthier foods in his home for her!. On the other hand, if she's allowed ice cream & other dairy products, then I don't see why you have a problem with her drinking cows milk 1-4 times a month!. Dairy is dairy, and just as bad health-wise, no matter what form it is in!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
You're going to encounter problems like this with other people too because no one knows what the rules are!.
Okay, so one rule is "no meat", and your ex is following that!.
But if you allow sugar in her diet, then don't be upset when he lets her drink soda because he only gets to see her 1 - 4 times a month, which isn't that much!.
also, you allow her to eat diary in ice cream, so that's no different than him giving her milk!.
Unless she has a specific allergy, then I wouldn't worry about what she's eating and drinking with him because she sees him so infrequently!. Let her have fun with her father instead of her seeing him as the "bad guy" who doesn't obey you!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Okay, so one rule is "no meat", and your ex is following that!.
But if you allow sugar in her diet, then don't be upset when he lets her drink soda because he only gets to see her 1 - 4 times a month, which isn't that much!.
also, you allow her to eat diary in ice cream, so that's no different than him giving her milk!.
Unless she has a specific allergy, then I wouldn't worry about what she's eating and drinking with him because she sees him so infrequently!. Let her have fun with her father instead of her seeing him as the "bad guy" who doesn't obey you!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Well, if it's important to you that she not have dairy/soda/etc, then talk to your ex!. Rather than tell him not to give it to her, tell him that her health is really important to you and ask why it's less of a priority to him!. A soda once in awhile won't kill her, I promise!. It probably isn't a big deal for her health!. If you think your ex is giving her these things because he knows that you don't approve, he's a royal jacka**!.
Seriously, though!. You only can really have a direct impact on what she can and can't have when you're the one feeding her!. She'll also be offered things that you wouldn't choose for her (be they cake, soda, or ice cream) when she's at friends' houses, etc!.
My best advice is to do the best you can as a parent!. Feed her wholesome foods and the occasional treat when she is with you!. Tell her that if she doesn't want to drink soda/eat meat when she is with friends/grandma/Daddy, it's okay to say, "No thank you!."
Then leave it up to her!. Www@FoodAQ@Com
Seriously, though!. You only can really have a direct impact on what she can and can't have when you're the one feeding her!. She'll also be offered things that you wouldn't choose for her (be they cake, soda, or ice cream) when she's at friends' houses, etc!.
My best advice is to do the best you can as a parent!. Feed her wholesome foods and the occasional treat when she is with you!. Tell her that if she doesn't want to drink soda/eat meat when she is with friends/grandma/Daddy, it's okay to say, "No thank you!."
Then leave it up to her!. Www@FoodAQ@Com
As far as i know there is really nothing against the law about him giving her soda pop and candy!. I suppose it would depend on the laws regarding sole custody, as far as i know you cannot dictate what your daughter can, and cannot be fed when she is not with you, but i don't know for sure!.
You're daughter is just a kid, let her have some fun for once and experience new things imo!.
also, just in case you are serious, although no cavities *may* be a sign of proper diet, do not associate no cavities with good health, because the two couldn't be farther apart!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
You're daughter is just a kid, let her have some fun for once and experience new things imo!.
also, just in case you are serious, although no cavities *may* be a sign of proper diet, do not associate no cavities with good health, because the two couldn't be farther apart!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
well!. quite honestly, expect that your ex has a say!.!.!.he does!.!.!.!.you should be thankful for the fact that you child is informing you!. I wouldn't "not care", however I would inform your CHILD WHY you do not want them consuming these products!. Have you child start to cut up the veggies for dinner, and try to positively give her exposure to good foods!. Don't express any negative behavior to any food!. Only good responses to good foods!. Children react most to positive reinforcement!.
If you child is at a certain age, maybe he/she will confront his/her dad and say no on their own accord, which would be much better than you forcing the issue!. (even if they don't children will be healthy even with a couple days of non nutritional behavior, eventually they will know who was looking out for their interests)
Children understand way more than we give them credit for!. Be honest with your child!. Perhaps let her know that if she chooses to eat these foods with him, then that's okay, but, then you will can't possibly in good conscience let her eat them with you, because you are not sure how much "unhealthy things" she is consuming!. Www@FoodAQ@Com
If you child is at a certain age, maybe he/she will confront his/her dad and say no on their own accord, which would be much better than you forcing the issue!. (even if they don't children will be healthy even with a couple days of non nutritional behavior, eventually they will know who was looking out for their interests)
Children understand way more than we give them credit for!. Be honest with your child!. Perhaps let her know that if she chooses to eat these foods with him, then that's okay, but, then you will can't possibly in good conscience let her eat them with you, because you are not sure how much "unhealthy things" she is consuming!. Www@FoodAQ@Com
I'm not a parent, so I don't feel that I can give you advice, but I really think you should pick up a book about raising vegetarian/vegan kids!. I myself have a book called Becoming Vegan by Brenda Davis & Vesanto Melina and there's a whole chapter devoted to raising vegan children!. And I'm sure there are even entire books dealing with just this one subject!. Good luck!. Www@FoodAQ@Com
talk to him in a calm manner!.!. and since she sees him once a month or once a week, then let those days be her treat days and don't serve her any pizza or french fries!. At least make them at home to control the salt and fat!.
A lot of parents have the same issue when the children stay with their granny's, but becareful not to make her feel guilty about it, its the dad's fault!Www@FoodAQ@Com
A lot of parents have the same issue when the children stay with their granny's, but becareful not to make her feel guilty about it, its the dad's fault!Www@FoodAQ@Com