I love animals & it hurts to see them in pain?!

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Unlike another answerer said, a lobster has an exoskeleton to protect their pain nerves, so yes it hurt him... or her once the boiling water seeped in through the shell. It's not the way I'd hope to go.
Sea"food" and fish have full range of "human" emotions and I'm happy you seem to realize that. For those of you who don't believe me, buy yourself an aquarium and educate yourselves.

How to deal with it? If you're serious, become vegetarian again; it helps with these feelings and it is not as expensive as you think it is.
What's relatively expensive is the fake meat products and a vegetarian does not need these anyway.

Vegan

I'm always glad when I come across people with empathy for animals. It's ironic that diets full of meat, dairy and processed food are often cheaper than healthy vegan diets. That's b/c of farm subsidies. But you also need to look at the effect of a diet long-term. People in the U.S. eat way too much animal fat/animal protein, and consequently, our rate of heart disease and cancer are astronomical. I spend money up front on lots of organic fruits and vegetables + organic beans. Consequently, as a middle-aged person, I'm healthy and take no pharmaceutical drugs unlike many people my age. My life insurance company insured me as super-preferred, so I pay less money in life insurance.

My husband became vegan, lost 30 lbs so far and is off his asthma inhaler and half his BP medications. My SIL is now vegan and is off her insulin.

Remember: It's cheaper to pay the grocer up front than it is to pay the doctor down the road. But if you learn to cook from scratch, and avoid buying pre-made food, being vegan is fairly cheap. There is no need to compromise your principles just b/c a vegan diet might not be the cheapest up front.

I would just excuse myself when this was taking place and later tell my friend I was bothered by this and mabey she could do it beforehand

show them how wrong it is
sign animal rights petitons
spread the word

peta.org

I ALSO LOVE ANIMALS, BUT......

It's perfectly normal to feel empathy towards animals, especially
the ones we eat. I just remind myself that I am an Omnivore,
I have incisor teeth in my mouth for a reason, humans have
evolved to eat meat, and our body needs that valuable protein
and iron.

Lobsters don't have pain 'nerves' They are a crustacean and their skeleton is on the outside. The die almost immediately and boiling them is the most humane.

Animals don't have emotions and feelings the way humans do. Don't worry about it.

You don't deal with them. Leave them alone. Its their choice to eat what they want. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't make it wrong.