My boyfriend's family owns a beef farm, but I'm still trying to be a vegetarian... His mom is so mean!?!

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Hi, wow, she sounds horrible!
I think the most important thing is to keep being polite to her. She doesn't sound like someone you'd want as an enemy!

In regards to the meat, I know it's tough to stand up to people but she has no right to try to make you eat that. My advice would be to refuse it firmly but at the same time totally overdo the politeness. For example, go "No thanks, but this all looks fantastic. You're clearly such a good cook!" or something to that effect!

As long as you go out of your way to be seriously over-nice to her, she's just going to look silly if she then gets offended by you not eating meat.

Good luck.

X

You shouldn't compromise your beliefs for her.

Similarly, I don't think you should expect her to compromise her beliefs for you either.

I'd perhaps have a quiet word, don't have a go at her but tell her it makes you uncomfortable. Better yet, ask your BF to do it.

The bottom line is, you're not dating his family. What's -he- like?

You shouldn't have to compromise your beliefs for her. If your boyfriend is understanding, he should know why you would not want to be around her. You can probably take some meals of your own instead of eating hers. If he cares, there's always other guys.

yah you should totally like show her who eats what they want.(") :P (") D:

mememememememememeememememememmeemmememe… no offense

the only thing you can do is just not give a fack what that old ***** thinks

who cares

Stick by your beliefs.....you need to stand up to mom in law she's not showing you respect and it's because you are allowing her to

I think this is something you should discuss with your boyfriend.

"his mom never owned animals..." but you claim they own a beef farm? So does she own cattle or not? How do you know she doesn't let their dog out of the cage? You're surely not there all the time?

Actually you sound pretty judgmental. You said "She is just so vile and unaccepting and ignorant" Wouldn't you call that judgmental?

You choose to be a vegetarian. She chooses not to cook something special for you. You're letting her dominate you. If she insists you take a piece of meat, say thank you, then leave it on the plate. If she asks why you didn't eat it, say you don't eat meat. As long as you're healthy, you shouldn't have to apologize for your diet. Now if you're making a big point out of how "meat is murder", yeah, people who raise cattle for their livelihood aren't going to be very welcoming. And she may see you as a threat to her. If he decides to go vegetarian, it would create a LOT of extra work for her. So she's trying to make you uncomfortable; maybe you'll stop coming to her home.

First, by eating the meat, you are compromising your values and beliefs to feel accepted. That is not helping, even though you think it might be. Also, your boyfriend's mother is very rude and immature and a poor hostess. If she can't keep her comments to herself, then don't have dinner with the family. They might sit together and eat, but what she is saying is not family-friendly.

Try and be the bigger person, starting by not even eating there. Who knows where meat is hiding in other dishes there?

I have friends who raise cows as humanely and organically as possible. They know why I'm vegan. They're reasoning for raising the cows the way they do are similar to why I'm vegan. We respect each other's beliefs and practices. They own a meat market in town and they also buy eggs, cheese, and chicken from local farmers with similar values. My husband is a meat eater and also respects and understands why I'm vegan. (I became vegan about four years into our marriage.) Our compromise with our three-year-old daughter is that she can have chicken and hot dogs, eggs and cheese from there. (She maybe has them once or twice a week.) My MIL thinks I'm in agreement with her giving my daughter Hebrew National hot dogs, but I would very much rather she didn't. (After all, if the commercial says that they are good and pure and holy, then they must be.) Since I don't know the source, I'm leery.

I also have a friend who is a dairy farmer. She is an older woman and one of maybe five people outside of our family with whom I would trust with my daughter. She also knows why I do not consume dairy. She said that they quit using the hormones and steroids long before it was common. Again, she respects my beliefs and it has not effected our friendship.

Therefore, if your boyfriend's mother is that rude, then avoid her.

I understand why you are upset, but I don't blame her for her behavior. You chose to give up your vegetarianism rather than be honest and assertive. You can't really blame her for continuing her normal (however upsetting) behavior of eating meat and cracking jokes about who she is eating. She didn't know that it upset you. What you should have done when she continued to push meat on you was tell her directly that you were a vegetarian and that you simply would not eat meat just to make her comfortable. Now, you have shown her that she can push you around and mock you. Not good. You are also showing your boyfriend that you are willing to compromise your morals if pressured. Again, not good. This is not the sort of dynamic that is healthy in any kind of relationship.

Try this: next time you are planning to go over, bring a vegetarian dish of your own to share. I would include enough cheese to sink a battleship if I were you, or she may not think it is "real food." Tell her quite plainly that you are no longer going to eat meat. Say, "I made a mistake accepting meat from you before. Perhaps I was not clear. I was a vegetarian because I am not comfortable eating meat, and I would like to stick to my beliefs. I do not wish to inconvenience you, so I will be bringing vegetarian dishes when I dine with you in the future." If she gives you crap or points out that you ate meat before, say, "Yes. I compromised in order to make you comfortable. I am not asking you to do the same. I am not asking you to change your behavior in any way, as you asked me to do. I am not asking you to give up meat, or stop enjoying meat, or any of that. I am simply asking you to accept the fact that I will not eat meat in the future." From here on out, just ignore her comments about who she is eating and who is getting butchered. Pretend you didn't hear it. If she directly addresses you, say, "That's nice." Then change the subject.

It will be an uphill battle, as you are "changing the rules," but you can do it.

I would also think very seriously about whether this is a relationship that has a future. Your boyfriend might be nice, but if his family is deliberately trying to upset you, maybe it isn't a family that you want to be a part of.

You don't have to be around her, if you don't want to.

If your boyfriend isn't willing to go out with you, instead of having you around his mom all the time, then you should leave him.

As for how to stay a vegetarian, it is up to you.

The fact that you ate meat shows you probably don't consume mock meats.

Because imitation meats taste better and are healthier than actual meats.

Boca, Morningstar Farms, Lightlife, Amy's Kitchen, Annie's Homegrown, Yves, Tofurky, Tofutti, Worthington, and Quorn are brands of vegetarian products that can be found at Whole Food Stores/Health Food Stores, mainstream supermarkets like Pathmark, Stop & Shop, and Shop Rite, and some of these products can be purchased online.

Burgerking has a BK Veggie Burger. Subway has a veggie patty sub(not to be confused with the veggie delite).

If you like beef so much, worthington has vegetarian steak that tastes just like real steak, only it's lower in calories, fat, and cholesterol.

Morningstar farms makes vegan riblets and imitation bacon, if you like pork.

The choice is ultimately yours, if you want to be a vegetarian, though.

Good luck.

Vegetarian