My mom is letting me be a lacto-vegetarian, but i want to be a vegan. What do I say?!
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Show her exactly how you plan to get the nutrients you need. Research and list a week of meal plans with nutritional analysis to prove you know what you're doing.
Well, you need to find out why your mom thinks you need cows' milk and do the research to show her that only is cows' milk unnecessary for humans, but that it's harmful. Vegetarian Resource Group (www.vrg.org) has a list of plant foods that are rich in calcium (and a list of plant foods rich in iron as well).
Work with your mom to find vegan options--soy milk is often fortified with calcium, and so are some orange juices. Offer to help with the grocery shopping and the cooking. If you're the only vegetarian in the home, maybe she can make the sides vegan and prepare the entree for the rest of the family while you fix your vegan entree.
As others have said, do research to address your mother's concerns and try to work with her. The good news is, vegans are a growing market. Companies are producing food not only for vegans, but for carnists who are looking to reduce their animal foods intake. Unless you live in a rural area, you should be able to find vegan items easily.
1.) Acknowledge that you appreciate what she HAS done before you go talking about what she hasn't.
"Thanks for letting me be a lacto-vegetarian, Mom! I really appreciate you allowing me to make that change, even if you don't agree with or understand it."
2.) Remind her of what you want and why (no gory details and keep it short, please).
"I would eventually like to go vegan because I feel that it is healthier/better for the environment/whatever."
3.) Promise that you will respect her house rules for the time being.
"I will continue to drink milk while at home if that is what you want."
4.) Find out what it will take for her to allow you to go vegan in the future.
"I would like to know what I can do to increase the possibility that you allow me to go vegan in the future. What are your main concerns about me being a vegan?"
5.) Listen to her, and address the concerns respectfully and thoughtfully.
She says: "I'm worried about your health." (Variations are anything that mention calcium, protein, growing, etc.)
You say: "Okay, I understand that and I'm glad that you are looking out for me. We should keep an eye on my weight and energy levels as I am a lacto-vegetarian. I will research protein/calcium/nutrition/etc and talk about it with you to make sure that I am taking care of my needs. When we next go to the doctor, can we ask him to check my blood levels to make sure I'm doing okay? Also, if it looks like I am on track and healthy after my next physical, can I give veganism a try?" Sure, you want to go vegan now, but she probably thinks the lacto-vegetarian thing is crazy and borderline dangerous already. Showing her that you are responsible and healthy as a lacto-vegetarian is a good way to show her that you can take care of yourself as a vegan. It's kind of like the way that parents sometimes make kids get a fish before a hamster, or a hamster before a dog. Start with less responsibility, then add more.
She says: "I am worried that it will create more work for me."
You say: "I understand that and I definitely don't think it is fair for you to have to do a lot more work for me. What if I do my own cooking? (If you drive, offer to do the grocery shopping at least once a month.)" You could also see if she is willing to compromise with you and keep the eggs, dairy, and meat out of the side dishes so you can eat the same side dishes and just have different entrees.)
She says: "I am worried that it will cost more."
You say: "What if I buy any special ingredients that nobody else will eat? I am hoping to mostly eat fresh fruits and vegetables like we usually do, but if I want soy milk/tofu/whatever, I can pay for it out of my allowance/with my job." You could also find out if you can do some extra chores to get a "food allowance."
Basically, work with her rather than against her. Also, you can always stay vegan when you are away from the family so you have an idea of what you need to eat and changes you can make. This will make it easier for you to make the transition when you finally can be a full-time vegan.
I don't understand the concern that much considering that a lacto-vegetarian eats dairy when a vegan does not. Tell her that its your choice and if shes worried about nutrition than she should not because alot of common products include the nutrients. dairy, meats, or any other types of food nowadays have what you need to maintain your health.
Whatever you say to her, be sure to be respectful. Look her in the eye, and speak your truth. If eating animal products hurts you because you care about the animals' pain too, then communicate that sentiment with all the compassion you can. Make her realize that this is a life decision, not a phase. Parents appreciate it when you listen, so don't cut her off if she refutes you. Wait until she has her piece, then quietly and calmly prove her wrong with all the facts and data that are available for you to print out online--or better yet, make a powepoint presentation. That will show that you're invested and care enough to take the time to research and communicate effectively. Plus, seeing the nutrition information presented in that format will make it easier to comprehend than just arguing.
Tell her your reasons why you want to be vegan. If she's concerned about protein, she really doesn't have to be. Only 10-15% of your daily caloric intake should be protein, and it's in everything but fruit.
All you have to do is see her side of it, then explain your side, and she might come around. :)
you and your mother can look into the following information.wikipedia, the free online encyclopedia has information on veganism at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veganism
on vegetables at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegetable
on leafy green vegetables at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leaf_vegeta…
on lentils at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lentil
on legumes at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legume
on quinoa at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quinoa
on alternatives to meat at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meat_analog…
on soy beans/soy products at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soybean
on alternatives to dairy milk at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plant_milk
and on alternatives to dairy cheese at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheese_anal…
try the one-word-a-search-idea with words such as: raw, breakfast, lunch, sandwich, snack, dinner, casserole, souffle, tofu, dessert, and smoothie in the search box of the following websites on the internet:
vegweb.com
and vegetariantimes.com
for information on the vegan-friendly and vegetarian-friendly restaurants, vegan and vegetarian restaurants and the health food stores in and around the area where you live go to happycow.net on the internet.
try the internet with the phrase "textured vegetable protein recipes" or with the phrase "tvp recipes".good luck.
http://www.wikipedia.org
http://vegweb.com
http://www.vegetariantimes.com
http://www.happycow.net
http://www.google.com
http://www.yahoo.com
If you want to be vegan, let her know. You have probably done this already, but it's good to do some of your own reading on nutrition, even if just so she doesn't end up worrying about you! Be willing to talk to her about your veganism and about any concerns she might have.
When I first went vegan my dad was a little concerned but not anymore - because I am healthy and happy and get a lot of pleasure out of food and out of life in general!
There are a couple of good resources on this sort of issue - this is Jo Stepaniak's perspective:
http://www.vegsource.com/jo/qa/qanewvega…
Here are some of her other Q and A's:
http://www.vegsource.com/jo/qa/archive.h…
Cow milk is for baby cows.
Just tell her that is she'd just provide some milk from her breasts for you, it would be much better for your health... if you were a BABY! Only babies/small children need milk (from their own mothers). Once you stop breastfeeding, there is no longer any need at all to consume milk. No mammal on the planet consumes milk after the mother's milk feeding stage (only some humans).
Learn about the issues and sit down with her. Milk is not natural for humans. Babies need breastmilk, that's about it. She probably saw milk ads and thinks milk has some magical nutrients not found anywhere else, but that's not true.
Tell her you will drink soymilk, which is fortified with all the same nutrients. Get a free starter kit on vegkit.org and it will help you a lot!
its your choice, your body so you should be able to decide what goes in it. if you want to become vegan then do it, don't let your mum make up your mind for you!
"Yes Mum", and get some evidence to convince her otherwise.
http://health.org.au/
taste good
