For how long do I boil asparagus for?!

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Hi, I don't boil my asparagus, but I fry it in a little "butter" or olive oil until it's crisp and that takes about 10 mins in skillet.

After you cut the woody base off, put it into a pot of boiling salted water for 2-3 minutes at most.
As for eggplant, I would not boil it at all. It has a fairly mushy texture that doesn't lend well to boiling. It is much better if you soak it in salt water overnight, then dreain and rinse it. This will remove much of the bitterness. I personally think it is best grilled or sauteed.

For crisp and firm asparagus, (which are healthier)-10 to 12 minutes. Longer if you don't' want them to be well done.
Eggplant-It depends on the size. The smaller ones (Italian eggplant)-15 to 20 minutes.
The larger eggplants need to be tested with a fork for the tenderness desired.

you boil asparagus for only a few minutes not long at all

about two minutes.