Trail mix and gas?!


Question:

Trail mix and gas?

I started putting nuts and a kind of nut and raisin and dried fruit mix in with lunch... does it cause gas because this week i didn't have any and don't have any gas. lmao...


Answers:
If you are eating even small quantities of trail mix, and, as you say, you "didn't have any and don't have any gas," something is seriously wrong with your digestive system. You should be blowing enough odorous air to prompt those around you to hurl stones and rotten fruit in your direction before running gasping toward a breezy outdoor area.

The fact that you are not farting up a noxious storm suggests that you are a host to vast colonies of parasitic amoeba, and they are eating the trail mix before you can. They are probably eating most of your food, and consuming most of the nutrients your body desperately requires for basic cell maintenance.

Fortunately, there is a solution.

Instead of packing trail mix in your lunch, pack tequila. I recommend selecting one that is distilled with 100% agave azul -- avoid the blends, or your problem might get worse. Your best bet is white tequila, but if your palate is too delicate, reposado or a?ejo will do.

Do not eat any breakfast in the morning. Drink something carbonated instead. As soon as your lunch period begins, withdraw to a secluded location, like a bathroom stall, and pour yourself a 1.5 fluid oz. quantity. Down it immediately. Repeat this until the bottle is gone. 700ml is probably enough for most amoeba afflictions.

Good luck

Those items are all high in fiber, so that's probably it.

And your problem is?

YePPers

Yes, it can cause it. Try drinking at least 8 glasses of water though and it may take care of the problem.

yeah, all those things our fibrous--duh




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