Was I rude in the way I answered the question "can't you just pick the meat off?"?!
Was I rude in the way I answered the question "can't you just pick the meat off?"?
It was food day at work today and my department bought sandwiches for anyone but there were no veggie sandwiches. Someone told me I could just pick the meat off.
I told her that I know she is trying to be nice but that is disgusting and offensive to me. She asked me why I would find that offensive. I tried to explain to her that even if you could pick it up and remove all the grease it left behind the fact it was there in the first place turns my stomach. She didn't get what I was saying so I said let me put it like this. "What if I made you a sandwich and then sneezed all over it then wiped it all off off would she eat it?"
She said something like "well if your just going to make a joke about it then I'm done talking to you".
Do you think my answer was rude? I didn't intend it to be. I just thought I was putting it in a context she might understand.
Answers: No, I do not think that you were rude. Most people who eat meat automatically think that you are judging them, and often become defensive when feeling that their beliefs are being contradicted (which is not uncommon for anyone).
You did not just randomly make this comment. She asked you a question about something that made you feel uncomfortable, and you gave a response that you thought might make your situation more comprehensible. Enough said.
The fact that more people eat meat does not mean that the feelings of those who do not should be disregarded. It would have been just as easy to make one sandwich without meat as it to make it with the meat. no I wasn't there, so it's hard to say. Many times it is not the words we use that are offensive, but the manner in which we say the words that offends.
I get the point you were trying to make, but obviously your co-worker didn't.
Do your best to be polite, and that is all you can do. It may have been your co-worker was already irritated about something completely unrelated, and took it out on you... Who knows.
God bless! well clearly sneezing on a sandwhich and having meat on it are 2 very different scenarios
but u were just making a point
and she's too ignorant and probably too stubborn...just leave it alone I actually think that your answer was great.
Anyone with an ounce of brain matter will have understood your explanation and realized that you wasn't being rude, you was simply trying to give her an explanation that she would be able to relate to. yes that was rude, you can't compare stuff from your nose to a piece of ham, meat is not that gross, even to a vegan, you should have brought your own sandwich, knowing your other co-workers were meat eaters. Why would you wipe off the sandwich if you sneezed on it? Your answer to her was way beyond rude, especially since she was doing you a favor by bringing food. The fact is that about 95% of us eat meat, it's the standard. Like it or not, the world doesn't revolve around snotty vegetarians. Instead of replying in such an arrogant and insulting manner you should have simply said "no thank you" and left it at that. I'm not a vegetarian, and I understand why you wouldn't want to take the meat off and eat the rest. I think she was rude for questioning you twice about the same thing.
I think the full moon's effects hit late this month, people were rude everywhere today! it was very rude she was trying to help! I don't think that you were necessarily being rude, just providing a good analogy so that she would understand. However, some people are very sensitive and may take offense to answers like that. Don't worry about those people if you know that you weren't deliberately trying to offend them. I would have said more stupid than rude (no offence). You would have been better off to say "no thanks" and left it at that. Your words were not rude but I wasn't there to hear your tone. BUT, it sounds like she wouldn't let it go, she continued questioning you after you explained your feelings so in my opinion she was rude and quite pushy and insensitive and even it you had a tone to your voice you did nothing wrong. There was nothing wrong with your comparison. The meat on the sandwich was as repulsive to you as it would be to her if someone sneezed on her sandwich. It cannot just be removed that easily. You over reacted. Where is the meat that I can't see or taste so I can pick it off, Oh never mind this is sure good, May I have the recipe? They should have asked beforehand of course, but I don't think the meat transferred itself to the other ingredients in the short time they were "together".
Yes your answer was rude and was an unfair comparison.
And always remember, you get what you pay for. i think your point had it's merits. i think that she was doing what she could to restrain herself from being rude from the get-go.
vegetarian and vegan are not so common in many facets and you can't really condemn people for their ignorance. most times, much time and effort is required to deal with this issue. at this point, it almost tends to be an intrusion if you haven't clued everybody in so that they might consider preparing for your special needs.
you remember this one, "it's nice to be important, it's important to be nice." I would say "I would still taste the meat just the same as if it was still there, and I don't like the taste. It wouldn't taste good to me."
If she didn't understand that, I'd change the subject or just say "never mind."
I agree with Michael H here, if we pick fights about everything it gives meat eaters an excuse to say vegetarians are preachy. I personally don't understand people that say things like that. picking the meat off is practically the same as eating the meat (although not quite : p). I think that you were justified in saying what you did to get your point across. That woman is ignorant and needs to think before she speaks, or just needs to STOP speaking all together.
If you don't know anything about the subject, keep your mouth shut.
That's what I say.
SO .... I'm on your side.
: D. Oh boy, thumbs-down time!
You weren't rude at all, SHE WAS!
The next time someone uses that ignorant line about just picking the bits of flesh off, try using my analogy since it seems to sink into their pea-sized brains.
Calmly and politely ask them if they eat human flesh? When they answer no you then respond with this:
Well, what if I presented you with a sandwich that has some slices of human flesh? Would you just pick the human flesh out and eat the rest? To me eating anything touched by animal flesh is just as disgusting as eating anything touched by human flesh. We both agree that human flesh isn't for food, can't you understand that I'm additionally repulsed by animal flesh?
That's an analogy they can usually understand. For the few that still don't understand and still want to bug me about it. I then just point out that knife injuries are commonplace at meat packing plants and the lines move so fast they usually miss collecting all the human blood tainted meat. I then suggest they look up meat packing videos on the web to see how fast the lines move<evil grin>. I think we all know what videos they're going to find! '-) If I were you, I would be done talking to her and have walked away before she finished her sentence.
How is it rude to tell the truth when someone asks for an explanation? I think your answer was probably a bit rude and confrontational, yes.
Your analogy is a good one, but it might sound a bit preachy and rude.
I would have said "no thanks, i'm veggie"
her:" Well, pick the meat off / why would you find that offensive ?"
me:"it will still have meat on it, i'll pass thanks, its no bit deal"........walk away.....
99% of people don't understand veggie morals, its not in thier mind set at all that meat is wrong, so why would juice be wrong ??? They don't get it so you could have spend either more time explaining politely about cross-contamination, or you could have dropped the conversation. Your anology was right, but you didn't give her chance to learn.
if you are going to contront all of them you are in for a hard life.
I've had your situation a few times and never resorted to your type of reply, no need for it. If she was asking you the question sarcastically, then you answered well. But if she was asking you honestly and genuinely, then I think you were a bit rude. You could have just said "I don't do that" or "it would still bother me" without giving offensive examples. Some vegetarians do just pull the meat off, and she may know someone who does. not really, objectivly it was fine and valid... but then you gotta remember your a veg*n freak and you, some what unfairly have to exercise some reservation. I would have simply quitely gone hungry...
"why can't you pick the meat off?"
"i'd rather not thankyou"
"why?"
"it just wouldn't be the same" That is the way things are done at work, unless a manager is vegetarian. Not necessarily rude, but she doesn't understand, since she is not veg. More politically correct to say maybe just "no thanks" or similar.
Reminds me of the time when I put mushrooms in spaghetti sauce and expected to hide them from my sister who hates shrooms. She found them and cried and then we told her to just pick them out and she said there was shroom juice in it now, so it was ruined. sounds fair.... she finds snot sandwiches disgusting.... you find meat disgusting... she only saw it the way she did because it is not something her mind can relate. Whether you intended or not, a lack of proportionality is a sign of immaturity. Expressing it in a social situation to someone who was unaware of your "customs" is simply stupidity as well as rude. As someone noted, the comparison between meat and snot is unfair . . . actually it is offensive and ill-mannered.
To be quite honest, I find your ungracious behavior more the rule rather than the exception amongst strict veggie-heads in the US and UK. It truly do. I avoid strict veggie heads like the social plague they are, except in other cultures.
You can be sure your exchange will get around your office and, rightly so, you will be labelled as someone to be avoided. You were just being your average anit-social, obnoixious veggie-head. And you wonder why you catch a lot of flack!!!! I might not have used the words "disgusting and offensive" when it first came to how all the sandwiches were meaty, but oh, well. Some people just don't get it, and you have to be a little less than polite. no, I don't think you sounded rude..
'can't you just pick the meat of?' now that was very rude of her to say that in the first place. people should think before they say stuff like that and she clearly didn't use her brain.
haha she's the one who got all offensive and thought you were the one being rude?? oh my, how ridiculous.