Should i eat fish even if my boyfriend is against it?!
anyone have suggestions? should i tell him i'm going to eat it and only eat it when he's not around? i would really like to cook it at home, but is that disrespectful?
I'm not sure what kind of answers i'm trying to get. maybe just another opinion than my own.
Answers: ok, i have a small problem. i live with my boyfriend and we are both strict vegetarians (not vegan) of 7+ year. i've recently decided i'd like to try eating fish. my body feels like i need to eat something with rich protein. last time i mentioned this he gave me the "gross" look. i know he doesn't want me to eat fish. i was thinking of eating it and hiding it from him, but this doesn't sound like a good idea for our relationship.
anyone have suggestions? should i tell him i'm going to eat it and only eat it when he's not around? i would really like to cook it at home, but is that disrespectful?
I'm not sure what kind of answers i'm trying to get. maybe just another opinion than my own.
easy. you're your own person. have a discussion with him. let him know you're planning on TRYING OUT eating fish. This way you can easily change your mind if you find it's not right for you.
i agree that it would be disrespectful to cook fish in a home you share. Using a grill outside will be a nice compromise. Also, only order it when you're with other people if he's uncomfortable with it.
I'm sure you will work it out. It's only food!!
He's your boyfriend, not your owner. Eat what you want.
You should eat whatever you want to eat and it isn't your boyfriends decision about what YOU want to eat. Fish are high in omega-3 fats which are very good for the body. Eat up!
I am not vegan, but my boyfriend does not like seafood what so ever. I cook him his plate for the night what ever he likes,make my fish. Good luck. Stick to who you are, if you want it eat it. Don't hide it, no that means you feel like your doing something wrong.. there is a difference between doing something wrong, and something against another person's opinion.
Fish is very healthy, so what you decide to do is up to you. Your boyfriend is not your owner/keeper, so he will either get over it, or not.
It is your life and you can make your own choices. Stand up for yourself. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. If he is controlling, you need to leave the relationship.
Ultimately it's your decision, but I wouldn't hide it from him either way. Personally, I wouldn't cook it at home (it has a strong odor) if you share a living space, just out of respect.
If you want to eat fish, tell him you're going to start eating fish, and then talk with him about it so that you can reach an agreement (like when, where, etc).
WHY do you want to eat fish? If you want to eat something with "rich protein", eat tofu or fake meats, or even beans. The only reason why some people don't eat beans is because they don't like the taste. Beans are very healthy for you, and unlike fish, don't involve killing an animal.
If you want the fishy taste, eat sea plants.
If you want the essential fatty acids, take flax seed oil and/or borage oil.
Oh and this is not an issue of control. If I was with someone who was vegetarian, and she started doing something gross and immoral, I would object to it.
You can NOT be a vegetarian and eat fish. Feel free to call yourself a meat-eater and let your boyfriend know. He has to make the decision of whether he wants to continue the relationship.
Hey dont be concerned about your bf instead be more concerned about your health, if he truly loves you then he should respect you for heaven's sake and if he really would like to be with you forever ... Better explain though about why you should eat fish, im sure, he will understand ...
why not hold your breath
if he dictates you to kneel before him..??? DO YOU..??
you do as you please
his next idea may be a burka..
First of all, you are not a "strict vegetarian" if you eat fish. In fact, you are not a vegetarian at all if you eat fish. I do realize many vegetarians who eat fish, claim to be so.... my daughter is one of them. I certainly have no issue with that. If you are concerned about eating foods rich in protein, then make sure you've tested all your options. Do you eat bean dishes, like chili? Kidney beans, black beans, white beans and many more varieties are very rich in protein. Hummus is rich in protein, as well as some veggies, and surprisingly, raspberries. Then there are many "meat"/soy protein products that are protein rich. If your reason is more that you'd really like to add fish to your diet, then that's fine, and should be your choice. I can understand your boyfriend not being happy with that choice. He should be able to adjust, but if not, then you just might have to consider only having it when he isn't there. I would think there could be some sort of compromise though. It's not disrespectful to cook it at home. Talk to him about it some more. Let him know you respect his feelings. You certainly aren't expecting him to eat it. Maybe he'll reconsider your choice. But don't "hide it from him". If you have to have it when he's not around... fine, but let him know you intend to have it if that's your choice. Good Luck!
Is there a reason why you are a vegetarians?ie for religious purposes? If you are a vegetarian just because and there are no reason then I would suggest go ahead and eat fish, It's good for you and there are nutrition in there ie omega3 that's really good. My hubby do not eat some stuff I cook(I'm asian) he's (caucasian)..I just cook a dish or two that I know he'll eat and what I want to eat and we eat together..He respects me that there are some stuff I would like to eat and he doesn't (even if it gross him out)..
Wow he controls you.You are an adult so eat what you want when you want.Move into your own apartment and eat it.Adults should not dictate to each other.EVER and on any thing.It is hard to live with them and give them power and still put out.Stop giving him your power...
If you never have cooked fish in the home, then let me tell you, if you don't like fish, you are not going to want to walk through the front door, such as your boyfriend. But, I also agree there is a fine line between discussing, "honey I know you want to try it, but I just don't think I could stand it" and "Your NOT cooking or eating here!"....ya' know?..... That is your home too. But out of common courtesy or fear your not going to try fish at home. That is where only you can decide that. There has to be some form of Compromise, because whether he is your boyfriend or not, you have a right to eat what you want to for crying out loud! He's not your father!!! Your a grown woman for God's sake. Either he'll get over it, or if you just decide not to cook it at home, go out to eat with your mom or girlfriend or coworker and try it at a nice restaurant...You could also cook it outdoors on the grill so not to have the smell in the house.....Take aluminum foil, put the fish in it, if it has skin, skin side down. Little salt, pepper, garlic, slice of lemon, sprinkle it with juice of a piece of lemon, some butter, and seal it up, put it on the grill and in no time (depends on the fish and size) you should have cooked fish (it's done when it Flakes). Go to recipe sites like Foodnetwork.com, Allrecipes.com, Yahoo Food, and look up some good Salmon and other fish recipes for on the grill......Being a vegetarian is all well and good, but 20yrs ago no one ever heard of a vegetarian unless you were a hippie, and we've all stayed alive thus far eating fish and such. So do what you want to!!!
If approval from your boyfriend is what you want then don't eat the fish.
You aren't a vegetarian anymore if you eat it regularly though.
"Fish smells horrible when cooked."-----no it doesn't, maybe you're not a good cook?
I can tell there are a lot of touchy, reactionary feminists answering this question.
You're right. Hiding it from him is not a good idea for your relationship. While it is your life and ultimately you who makes your decisions, you are living with him and sharing the same cooking and eating utensils so some "rules" might have to be "reinforced".
I could imagine if my husband were to tell me he was going to start eating fish again. I, too, would probably give him a *gross* look... and in all honesty, I would probably do everything in my power to convince him not to eat fish for the obvious animal, health, and environmental purposes. But if he is really set on it, then I would have to accept it and respect his decision. Support, compromise, and understanding are all crucial for a successful relationship.
Work out a cooking schedule with your bf. It sounds like a good idea to eat it only when he's not around, and it isn't disrespectful if you want to cook it at home. You live there, too, and have a right to eat whatever you want to eat.
On a side note, you say you feel your body needs some rich protein, perhaps it will feel better after eating some homemade chili with all kinds of protein-rich beans. Or maybe some BLT sandwiches with tempeh fakin' bacon for the B. Or a Philly "cheese steak" made with seitan... just a few suggestions.
Best wishes! :)
I have several thoughts on this question.
1) I think he needs to allow you the space you need on this subject. You 2 need to talk about this. His wants & needs are not always yours or the other way around either. Respect is a 2 way street. Explain to him just what you said here..You feel your body needs it. Down the road I am sure there will be things he feels he needs that you will not be for 100%. Remember this time.
2) Have you explored other Veggie Proteins? Here's a great article on Veggie Source Proteins by Dr. John McDougal.
http://www.drmcdougall.com/misc/2007nl/a...
It sounds to me that you are still a believer in THE PROTIEN MYTH..That only flesh can provide you with "rich" proteins.
3) If you still feel it is important to you. Consider eating fish out. Or even when he's not there at home to join you for a meal. Realize it will change the smell of your house. I burn allot of incense at my home getting rid of cooked flesh smell.
I am a Raw Vegan with a more traditional eating spouse. We have been married 35 years & have work through many things with love & respect. Sometimes even a "fuss" or 2. I do make flesh dishes for him sometimes, but usually I'm in charge of the veggie side of things & he grills his meat, fish etc. He also is always looking for great recipes he can make me. Yeah I am luck, there is nothing sexier than a man who cooks well. ;-}
Slainté(to your health)
Amen to Celtic Tejas. My husband also does a lot of cooking, and it's a really nice thing when they do.
As for the "problem" at hand.... your best bet is to let him know you intend to cook the fish. If you try it and then decide "Yeah... he's right, it's gross" then you've really not hurt anything. Fix him a plate of what ever he likes, and fix your fish. It's not like you're eating a cow or chicken or something. Fish is very healthy for you.
If you find you cannot stomach fish, but still feel like you're missing out on something the fish has for you, try taking fish oil capsules. You'll get some of the same benefits from that, as you would from eating the actual fish. They kind of look like vitamin E capsules, only they're a little bit bigger.
Just remind him, too, that the Omge-3 fatty acids are important for good brain function. That's why fish is called "brain food".
Good luck.
You do know you won't be vegetarian anymore if you decide to eat fish.
What do you mean "rich protein"? Protein is protein. You can get plenty of protein from soy products, from beans, from seitan, fron quinoa. And if you eat too much protein, you'll be stripping calcium from your bones. As someone else pointed out, there are plenty of analogues that are good sources of protein. May Wah (www.vegieworld.com) even has vegetarian forms of seafood you can try.
You can get omega-3 fatty acids from flax, hemp, and walnuts. And you don't have to worry about mercury that now contaminates many forms of fish.
Fish smells horrible when cooked. It's simply vile, no way around it. You will NOT be able to hide that from your boyfriend,as the stench lingers. It would be incredibly disrespectful to cook that at home, especially since you live with someone who seems to think eating fish is gross.
However, you have to make the best decision for you. I can only give you my opinion.
Eat it when you go out to eat . . . that way, you don't have to prepare it in a vegetarian kitchen and it doesn't have to be around him. It's a compromise . . . in my house, there is one veggie and one meat eater and the meat eater doesn't cook meat at home and only has it in restaurants. The rest of the time, we do vegetarian at home.
It's up to you what you want to put into your own body. Even a loved one can only really claim objection to things that are bad for you, and that certainly does NOT include fish.
You won't be a vegetarian anymore, though.
Well ever see how they kill the fish? NOT pretty!! Also I wouldn't but if you are don't hide it!
There is other sources of rich protein, have you ever had tempeh? you can cook it up to taste like fish too.
you could go to a specific meat substitute restaurant together and you caould get fake fish there.
If you are set on eating fish then it is entirely your decision and if you want to do it then you should do it. however you will also have to deal with the consequences because it will then be up to him how to deal with it.
i dont think u should eat fish at all..
thats still meat in a way..
fish is a flesh of an animal..
plus why would you eat a lil innocent fishy?
=]
and i dont think u should hide it from him..think of how he'll be when he finds out..
and its cause you just wanted a more protien rich diet..
theres many other things which are high in protien, which doesnt involve animals.
for example tofu!
i love tofu..when u cook it right
and gluten is good too..
when u cook it right.
do research,
and i hope u and ur boyfriend will have a great relationship together!
=]
GO VEGANS!! =]
Well if what you choose to eat is a deal breaker as far as the relationship is concerned . . . you are in the relationship for the wrong reasons. And if the bf puts any undue pressure on you because of your choice ... you go the wrong bf.
Some how "I love you for your strict vegetarianism" sounds a bit silly, don't you think?
The only reason to eat fish is that you like the taste.
Protein can be found in any other whole plant food.
The two of you will just have to see if you can make it through that kind of change. Vegetarianism is more than what you eat; it is a belief system, and it's the way that the two of you have lived together for years.
Being with someone for years, and than discovering that they are changing their beliefs and the way they live (even if only one aspect of belief) is a big change. What you believe is part of who you are and part of who your boyfriend decided to be with. As we get older, we select partners by how well we mesh mentally, morally and emotionally.
If you decide to give up vegetarianism so you can eat fish, this will have to be a process the two of you will have to discuss and go through together.
Don't sneak it because regardless of what you sneak, keeping things hidden is a form of dishonesty in a relationship and will break it quicker than anything... especially if you know your partner is against what you are hiding from him. Maybe you can eat like a vegetarian at home and eat fish when you go out for dinner.
My man loves a pasta dish that I don't love, so that dish is like is special food for days I am at work or out with friends. Maybe fish can be a food you make when he is elsewhere.
However, as a strict vegetarian for 7+ years, you do know that whole *I need fish for lots of protein* stuff is bunk. You just want to eat the fishies. So it may be best to be honest in that area because he probably knows it's bunk too.
:)
Good luck in whatever you decide.
That's up to you.
But please don't eat fish and call yourself "vegetarian."
And all that stuff about having to eat animals to get "rich protein" is untrue--you can get just as much protein without eating animals.