My dad won't except my vegetarianism!!!?!


Question: I went to the grocery store today with my dad, and i asked him to get things like frozen vegetables, fresh vegetables, veggie burgers, and i also kept saying things like, "you can have meat, i just don't really want to eat it." And, "i don't like meat". Then i finally told him, "I don't want to eat meat anymore." He sort of excepted it, but he wouldn't let me get one vegetarian thing! He kept saying "Whats a matter with you?" and i replied "whats a matter with YOU?!". My mom is encouraging to me, and asked me to get recipes on the internet for things like hummus (she doesn't live with us, i stay with her every second week). I tried to look at the vegetables, but he gets impatient and wouldn't let me look for ones that don't have chicken, and ones with a variety in the bag. i am 14, so my parents give me the freedom to have a say in what we buy (what they buy). I am thinking about getting a part time job, then buy my own vegetarian things, but what can i do or say in the mean time?


Answers: I went to the grocery store today with my dad, and i asked him to get things like frozen vegetables, fresh vegetables, veggie burgers, and i also kept saying things like, "you can have meat, i just don't really want to eat it." And, "i don't like meat". Then i finally told him, "I don't want to eat meat anymore." He sort of excepted it, but he wouldn't let me get one vegetarian thing! He kept saying "Whats a matter with you?" and i replied "whats a matter with YOU?!". My mom is encouraging to me, and asked me to get recipes on the internet for things like hummus (she doesn't live with us, i stay with her every second week). I tried to look at the vegetables, but he gets impatient and wouldn't let me look for ones that don't have chicken, and ones with a variety in the bag. i am 14, so my parents give me the freedom to have a say in what we buy (what they buy). I am thinking about getting a part time job, then buy my own vegetarian things, but what can i do or say in the mean time?

chances are your dad thinks you might just be going through a teenage phase or something.

Since he still eats meat, the best thing you can do is just try to be as passive as possible.
(such as, I wouldn't say "what's wrong with YOU?" in response to his remark, but just answer him honestly with a calm "I don't want to eat meat" or "I don't like meat" rather).

Parents can be a little quick to judge teenage behavior as being dramatic or hormonal, etc (which, well, they can, but not all the time and not everyone T_T )
So the more you approach it as "not a big deal", he'll start to think so too and realize it's not a phase, but your new life choice :)

You should give him some time, keep letting him know that you don't want to eat meat. Explain to him why you want to be vegetarian. When i became vegetarian, it took my parents almost two weeks to get used to it and buy me different food. Research on the internet or in a book about how people of all ages can live on a vegetarian diet.

It's just a foreign concept for your parents. You should just give them some time to digest (no pun intended) you being a vegetarian. Ease them onto it slowly. Try clipping coupons for the things you like that they don't eat. It will impress them that you are being so considerate.

They will come around and have to learn to accept it. And they will.

Take care.

My parents are the same way. At least your moms accepting you. My parents wouldnt talk to me at all.

First things first…

If you’re going to vegetarian you should research how to be a *healthy* vegetarian by eating a balanced diet.
You can do this by consulting a dietitian or possibly by asking your doctor.
There are also numerous texts (i.e. Being-Vegetarian-for Dummies) on healthy vegetarian diets.
You may also want to consider taking a multi-vitamin, if you don’t do so already. (Again speak to a physician or dietitian for full details.)

Depending on where you live you may be able to shop at more vegetarian friendly places, such as Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. Both of these chains offer many options for vegetarians vs. the one shelf you may get at your local grocery store. One of my favorite brands is: http://www.amyskitchen.com/.

Finally, in terms of family… Because of your age, family members may think you are going through a "phase." I think if you commit to a healthy vegetarian diet and lifestyle, overtime they will tolerate/respect your dietary choices. One thing you don’t want to do is be defensive or argumentative about your diet choice. If someone is curious about why you are a vegetarian you can share your reasons… But be careful not to try and impose your opinions about vegetarianism on others, just as you don’t want the to impose their opinions on you.

Good luck!

It sounds like this might be new for you and your Dad. He'll take a while to get used to it.

You should research proper vegetarian nutrition and make sure what you do eat gives you enough calories, protein, vitamins, and minerals. If he knows you're eating right it might help.

At 14 you might not be very familiar with products in the grocery store. Ask your Mom if she will take you to the store so you can browse and read packages and put together a list for when you shop with your Dad. Or ask your parents if it is OK for you to go to the store by yourself to read packages and familiarize yourself with the products you're interested in. You could put together a list of products so when your Dad wants to get "frozen vegetables" you know exactly which ones to grab and he won't be impatient. Some people just want to get in and get out of the store, not browse. If you can shop with him and not take up more time, that might help too.

well being a vegetarian is actually really easy. you should still eat your veggies and all that, and you don't REALLY need to get those specialty vegetarian foods, but you pretty much just have to replace the meat with a good source of protein. if you really think about it, that's the only thing you have to worry about. i think its kind of unusual that your dad wouldn't let you get vegetables at all since everyone needs them and every house, vegetarian or not, should have them...

i for one LOVE being a vegetarian. i'm 15 and even though i dont get a say on what my parents buy, you don't have to change your diet all that much besides learning about what foods to replace the meat with. (think nuts, peanut butter, beans, eggs, and dairy) so a part time job shouldnt be neccessary since you can eat everything else in your house as long as it doesn't have meat in it

That's very strange that your dad won't buy vegetables, considering he should be eating them too, whether he eats meat or not.

Everyone has given you great advice so far.
I'm 22 and have been a vegetarian for about 5 years now-- my
family still doesn't totally understand it. I'm living at home for a little bit at the moment, and i've decided to cook some food and try to introduce my family to some of the things that i like to eat. That way they understand that i'm being very healthy, just not eating animals. I think it would be good for you to see if you can use what you have in the house to cook dinner for your dad. I'm sure he'll be impressed that you took initiative to try to ease him into your world (and maybe realize that you're not an alien and not going insane, like my dad thought at first).

I wanted to add a couple of websites that i use regularly and have found very helpful.

www.vegetariantimes.com
(on the left hand side, look under resources and click on 'Vegetarian Starter Kit'. Its a magazine that you can read online that has TONS of facts that you should be aware of so that you can eat healthy and get all of the nutrients that you need. There's also tons of really good, easy recipes)

www.vegcooking.com
is also great for anything vegetarian and vegan.

The best advice i can give you is to educate yourself. If you can back up your beliefs and practices, people will be more likely to respect your decisions.

Good luck! and congrats on your decision!! ;)

First of all, congratulations on deciding to give up meat!

It could be that he is concerned about your health or maybe worried about your motives. Some people go veggie as a way of hiding an eating disorder. Then again, some people feel vegetarianism is a sort of criticism of their own eating habits. Other people feel it goes against their religious beliefs or associate it with groups of people they disapprove of. Then again, it can be quite depressing for a parent to see their child make a major decision like that for themselves because it's a sign that they're growing up and they won't be around at home forever, because it can be very hard to let go. Maybe he feels like he's losing you.

On the other hand, i wish i'd had the courage to decide to go vegetarian when i was still living with my parents. I was very unassertive then, and did lots of things i didn't believe in to please them. Maybe you could convince him with delicious veggie food? Or show him evidence that veggies tend to be healthier? I think it's probably a question of balancing soothing the negative feelings like rejection or confrontation he may feel with evidence that you'll be fine and you aren't going to change your mind.

Stop eating meat and meat products.My mom did the same thing saying that I would have to eat meat sometimes but when she realized I wasn't going to eat any meat then she started helping me so I could healthy.

spelling = "accept"

Could be a number of things in your situation.
Such as, he's a man and thinks that meat is manly and makes you into a big and strong person and vegetables will just make you weak and sickly.

Or, he thinks this is all your mom's idea and won't go along with any of her weird wacko ideas.

Just don't mention the 'vegetarian' word. Just say you don't like the "idea" of meat anymore. If he tries to 'pull teeth' and try to get you into a debate of sorts, just tell him to go to the library and do his own research and leave you out of it.

just boycott the meat... Eventually he will have to start letting you look or else you want have any food. In the mean time just grap some boca products and look online for vegetarian products that way when you go to the store you can just grab it and go. Good luck on vegetarianism (my 1 year vegetarian anniversary was this past Monday yay.) I'm 13 and perfectly healthy just make sure you still get protein and your dad will finally accept it and work around it.

I began to be a vergetarian at camp... But since summe ris along ways away.... suggest to your father why you want to be a vegetarian. Don't say cause you want to lose weight... He'll think your being anerexic or something. Explain to him you'll be healthy and not only eat carbs.... I can tell you were being healthy by getting veggies. Good luck!

Pick up a good book on vegetarian nutrition, like "Becoming Vegetarian" by Vesanto Melina and Brenda Davis and learn as much as you can about eating healthfully. You'll have your facts straight that way when you go shopping with your dad.

Use the weeks you spend with your mom to come up with healthy eating plans and to figure out what you need to get at the grocery store. If you know exactly what you want, and you're not dragging out the shopping trip reading labels, your dad might be less resistant. He's got to eat vegetables, too, so you could point out that you're not really requiring anything that he shouldn't be eating himself.

Try not to turn it into an argument, though. If he asks what's the matter with you, just tell him that you're happier without meat. Ask him what his objection is. If he doesn't think you'll be healthy, show him how you can. If he thinks it's just a weird phase, let him... hell figure out it's not when it sticks. Make sure he knows you respect his right to eat as he sees fit and ask him to do the same.

Hunger strike.

Four more years, and you can do and be whatever the hell you want to.

You should be grateful that you have a dad who works to buy you food, and think about the starving kids in Africa who would kill you for that juicy chicken leg. When you're independent and pay for your own food you can do what you want, but don't complain about having a meal to look forward to when you get home.





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