Why not hurt the intruder?(original piece)?!
Why not hurt the intruder?(original piece)?
I came home one night and the front door was open. The dog was
outside. I heard someone in the kitchen and saw the sycamore stick
near the fireplace. A club, actually. There was a black dude in my
refrigerator and he was putting food in a plastic bag. I said "hello."
He whirled around and the club was already in motion. I hit him in
the knee cap, he yelled and fell over on his back. I took the club
and hit him as hard as I could in the other knee cap. He hollered.
"Man I can't get up! you tore my knees up. I walked over to the
back door and turned the overhead fluorescent on. "How did you get
in? Why are you taking my food? What in the hell are you doing
in my house?" Sweat was streaming down his face. He looked like
people you see sometime who mashed all the bumps when they got
chicken pox when they were little. "I just wanted some food.
I ain't got any money. I wouldn't a took nothin' else. No money, man.
"Why not? You spend it on cheap wine? Crack?" I replied.
This was violation. I was already
ticked off about some of my own problems, so this burglar
and vandal was about to get what I thought he deserved.
Probably more.
"Can you move?" I asked him. "How??" he said, and
he was scared, hurt. I don't know if he was mad, and did
not particularly care. I wanted to hurt him as much as I
could, and that was perfectly within reason.
"Here, let's fix you up. I went into my pantry, and lo and
behold a roll of silver duct tape. "What are you gonna do
with that?" He was trying to get up and I know he could only
crawl. But I wanted to make it so he couldn't move. Thought
about the sycamore stick, then remembered the crowbar I
never put back in the shed. I went to the spare bedroom and
came back into the kitchen with it.
He looked at me from over by the refrigerator where he had
crawled to. He saw the crowbar and said, "I wanna lawyer.
You gotta call the police." I walked over to him and with the
business end of the tool I hit him as hard as i could in his
shoulder with it. I heard two things. I heard a breaking sound
and I heard a sound like I had never heard before. It was like
the sound of a wildebeest being devourd by a pack of hyenas.
And one of the aliens being speared by Sigourney Weaver
in Aliens. I asked the burglar, a guy in dirty gray slacks with
a black shirt, dressed very well for walking in the streets at night,
if he could move his right arm. His eyes were glassy and he looked
like he did not feel very well. He rolled back his eyes and said,
whimpering, "No. " "That's good", I said. I thought that would
immobilize this person. I never thought I would handle this situation
this well.
1 month ago
But I wanted a little more satisfaction. Down the road this joker
might cross paths with me again, so I didn't have a lot to lose if
I hurt him some more. So I took the duct tape from the spare bedroom, where I could find just about anything,
and ran tape from the top of his head and around his jaw.
"I bet your feet are sore" I told the burglar. He was rolling his
head back and forth, his eyes were still glassy as hell, and then
he started coughing. Well I did not want him to choke, so I
rolled him over on his side. "That better? I asked.
1 month ago
> Seek professional help for who son?
> You?
..
1 month ago
....
It's pretty common, xavier, for a younger
person, who also must live in the USA,
to read a piece of prose and pick one
word out of it to pick on. If you care, I
have been published four times on the
internet, and once in a chapbook in
California. I live about 3000 miles from
the university there. You are pretty
average. No good kudos for you
tonight. The African-American gets
treated much better than the Native
American. Or did you know that.
Glad you saw the word.
....
1 month ago
...
Huh?
--v
1 month ago
...
I should have offered the guy milk and
cookies, invited him to my parents for
some Lean Quiseen, maybe let him
meet my sister and they get married.
.....
I'm subscribing to the New Age Super
Ultra Conservative Liberal.
/
I hope Susan Sarandon beats the
daylights out of me at our next pork
roast. Always liked it.
/
Answers:
1 month ago
But I wanted a little more satisfaction. Down the road this joker
might cross paths with me again, so I didn't have a lot to lose if
I hurt him some more. So I took the duct tape from the spare bedroom, where I could find just about anything,
and ran tape from the top of his head and around his jaw.
"I bet your feet are sore" I told the burglar. He was rolling his
head back and forth, his eyes were still glassy as hell, and then
he started coughing. Well I did not want him to choke, so I
rolled him over on his side. "That better? I asked.
1 month ago
> Seek professional help for who son?
> You?
..
1 month ago
....
It's pretty common, xavier, for a younger
person, who also must live in the USA,
to read a piece of prose and pick one
word out of it to pick on. If you care, I
have been published four times on the
internet, and once in a chapbook in
California. I live about 3000 miles from
the university there. You are pretty
average. No good kudos for you
tonight. The African-American gets
treated much better than the Native
American. Or did you know that.
Glad you saw the word.
....
1 month ago
...
Huh?
--v
1 month ago
...
I should have offered the guy milk and
cookies, invited him to my parents for
some Lean Quiseen, maybe let him
meet my sister and they get married.
.....
I'm subscribing to the New Age Super
Ultra Conservative Liberal.
/
I hope Susan Sarandon beats the
daylights out of me at our next pork
roast. Always liked it.
/
Weak. I've read better. Is this what you're handing in to your Lit professor-wait they call them instructors in community college. Actually I used to hand in writings like thisinto my creative writing classes. I would get sh**ty grades and all they would say is "come up with something more original". Later I found that it's true. It's easy to come up with something as simple and violent as that, it's only natural. I wanna hear the history of the guy who did the beating. You know, I can tell there's something going on with that guy. Something more than just having a bad day and he decides to go medevil on some "black guy" who's taking food from his house or claims to be taking food from his house.
You're hilarious. I am native.
Seek professional help.
ok...
Published on the internet? I wrote a Wikipedia article, does that count? I also have my own webpage where I can "publish" whatever I want. Maybe I'll write a MySpace blog. And isn't a chapbook just a copied pamphlet that's self-distributed?
Maybe when he comes into the kitchen the black guy could say "Oh, Lordy Lordy, master, I don't know nothin' 'bout stealin' no food!"
You didn't mistreat him bad, I would have permanently immobilized him. If I saw him in my frig about to take my beer I would have gone ballistic on him.Don't worry you did alright. CHEERS
I think you're a racist prick who needs to do some major soul searching to uncover the deeply rooted issues in your life before you even attempt to write another piece of anything!!!
you did the right thing but you should of not hit him in the shoulder or even both of the knees. you should of called the police or even called for help.
ok@y
good job