Tell me somthing funny?!
Tell me somthing funny?
or a story
Answers:
3 builders on a building site - obviously! 1 Englishman, 1 Scotsman and 1 Irishman, all having their lunch.
The Englishman opens his sandwiches and grunts, "bloomin' ham & mustard sandwiches, I've bleedin' well had enough of em! if the mrs does them again tomorrow thats it, gonna go to the end of that bridge there and top myself"
Scotsman opens his, "chicken erk, me too mate I'll join ya, I keep telling her"
The Irishman, "cheese (gag!) me too boys, I'll follow suit"
Next day true to form the men sat with their lunch Englishman opens his, ham and mustard sandwiches and with a salute goodbye off he jumps. Scotsman the same story and the Irishman too left with no choice.
A WEEK LATER all their wives stood weeping at their funerals.
The Englishman's wife stutters between tears and gasps, "why didn't he just say. I would've changed for something else. The Scotsman's wife nodded in agreement. The Irishman's wife looking slightly bewildered, looked up and said,
"I DONT UNDERSTAND - PADDY MADE HIS OWN FLIPPIN' SARNIES"
Enjoy! - you better!, hee! took me ages to type!!
I'm an idiot!
Why would I need to tell you something funny?
Because you sooo funny!
Funny lookin`!!! :]
Little Johnny and his family lived in the country, and as a result seldom had guests. He was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.
When the dinner was nearly over, Little Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest. Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.
This was too much for Little Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."
Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts can be bought around $2.Deer nuts can be found under a buck.
Since this is in the Beer, Wine and Spirits category...
What's quite funny to me is based upon observations of people who think Martinis are made with Vodka and those order Apple Martinis, Chocolate Martinis or any other flavored Martinis.
I find it hilarious that they don't know what they're talking about, but think they're so hip and cool while being total idiots.
It's like the Samuel Adams beer commercial, there's a ditzy broad that states, "Once you try Samuel Adams Lite, you'll never drink a domestic beer again." Her friend corrects her with, "Sam Adams is a domestic beer." Duh!!!!!
People know the "buzzwords" and try to throw it out there to show their hip, groovy, cool but in reality are being the fool.
Go look in the mirror, Now that is funny.You look funny. You smell funny. And your buddy there he funny too.
Not in this catagory
WE are serious into our subject
You want funny go to entertainment>
85 year old man is walking his dog one hot, 90 degree day, when he comes across the town bar. He figures the bar will have some air conditioning and he could grab a cold beer as well. So the old guy ties up the dog to a shade tree outside of the bar and he goes inside. The guy has about three beers in an hr, and about that time a police officer walks in the bar and says "who's dog is this outside here". The old guy raises his hand and says "that's my dog". The police officer walks up to the man and says "you know your dogs in heat". The old guy says "no she is fine, I tied her under a shade tree". The officer says "I'm sorry sir, I don't think you understand". "What I'm trying to tell you is your dog needs to be bread". The old guy says "no she is fine". "She ate before we left the house". The police officer is now getting slightly upset as he blurts out "sir you don't understand" "What I am telling you is your dog needs to be f---ed". The old guy says "go ahead". "I always wanted a police dog".
I'll tell you something funny.
Arizona raised the price on cigarettes to raise revenue.
Then banned smoking.
I was walking through a warehouse club the other day by the frozen foods with my shopping basket and trying to find an item in the frozen food lane when all the sudden I hit a pole with my cart head on. There was a little boy watching me who fell to the ground laughing...I couldn't laugh any harder.