Medical emergency, please help!?!
I am used to drinking huge quantities of gin and real ale, I've never touched this lager stuff. I always tell people that gin and ale is my tipple. At breakfast time perhaps I might enjoy a brandy. Please tell me I'm not going to die, or become some sort of common, gutter-dwelling peasant.
Have I ruined my life?
Answers: This evening, I have drunk a glass of 'lager'. Please don't judge me, I thought it would be a good idea at the time, and my friends encouraged me.
I am used to drinking huge quantities of gin and real ale, I've never touched this lager stuff. I always tell people that gin and ale is my tipple. At breakfast time perhaps I might enjoy a brandy. Please tell me I'm not going to die, or become some sort of common, gutter-dwelling peasant.
Have I ruined my life?
or yess serious man you are going to drop dead get a life peasant ha ha are you someone thats gone bak in time or summot yeah you have reuined your life big style or maybe you have just started to get a life
lol dont worry, i think you'll get through this! just keep away from lager in the future :)
you will be fine, go to bed with a stiff gin and take some senna in the morning...let this be a lesson to you! and what ever happens do not touch any cider! or you will almost certainly turn in to a burberry clad chain smoking sovereign wearning Chav! then your reputation and life will most definatley be ruined!
Lager is what your butler should drink! Shame, shame! A true English Lord should drink port and claret! You will be ousted from the peerage.
Yes, you will awake tomorrow a gutter-dwelling peasant with no hopes of ever returning to your previous life!
If you have a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1.
at least that's what my doctors office recording says!
Cheers!
sorry you dude once you drink lager you turn into ( now remeber this it will help when the cops pick you up ) a lager lout ,
sorry old chap but you are most likely going to go and just start randomly yelling incoherently in the street before going home to beat the little woman (not that she wont deserve it f course) and just rapidly sink to a level of debauchery that you will actually have to take a step up the ladder to become a gutter dwelling peasant
tsk tsk you won't be able to fly your sopwith camel if you drink lager. Get back to the gin man!
I see in your future a trip to Germany, my friend. You will reel around Oktober fest in a haze of lager and cheap German hussies in lederhosen. You will never know how you got there and it won't matter.
Your life *will* be ruined, but you will be in a perpetual state of amnesia, so you will neither know nor care.
Drink up, magic 8 ball says it is certain.
Are you taking the pils?
Sorry, but you are now a lout.......next you'll be gorging on kebabs on a Friday night....oh, the shame=]
x
Proppa SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you find your self reading the Sun and finding a track suit appealing I would attend my physician
What next? Vegetarianism, I'll be bound, or drag racing! Take a triple dose of Andrews Liver salts - that should get it out of your system in triple quick time.
Don't worry, the worst you'll get is and hangover at the moment lol. You can't be that bad otherwise you wouldn't be able to ask this question in the 1st place!
The most damage your going too do like every one who drinks, especially heavy is your liver...
I drink most days to be honest and pretty heavy and also mix drinks, I've done more damage in a short space of time than most people will do in a life time...
But I say as long as your not causing trouble and not hurting anyone else, and enjoy it who really worries...
Best Wishes from Michael
You'll be dead by morning.
Chill the **** out you godd*mn drama queen....
What part of the chemical composition of lager did you think would kill you exactly? considering thousands of licensed establishments sell it every day it would be rediculous for you to think it would kill you. If anything, gin has a far greateri chance of killing you, since it is a spirit and far greater in strength. I think if anything, gin is far, far, far worse for you.
oh by Jove what a dilemma still after all you have confessed and paid you due all I can say is let that be a lesson to you and prey to let
those underlings do what they do and never join forces with those again
Hmmmmmmmm I fear the worst Old Chum.
Having scanned through De Montplum's Aristocrical Illnesses and Social Faux Pas. It would appear whilst the drinking of Lager isnt in itself, dangerous..... it can if left untreated lead to the veering away of caviar, to fish paste...... and from reading Keats to the Sunday Sport for example.......
The only solution is to immerse yourself in pure upper class, and not to associate with any beneath you inc. servants and even waiters !!!
The best help I can profer is, I can wall you up in my East Tower, for a few weeks. We can winch up Fortnum and Mason hampers for you, and supply a radio so you can hear the Test scores...... Hope that assists
There you go showing your caring side again. You obviously only did this in order to experience similar feelings to those of the peasant massess, who so regularly congregate at the Manor gates on 'bin-day'. Let this be a lesson to you - Never touch the 'liquid violence' again. If you do, then you may well find yourself desiring to be clad in shiny two-piece attire from Mssrs K'pa or Feeler.
You bally fool! When we said 'drink' we didn't mean the whole glass!
Fortunately the effects of such a vulgar drink can easily be offset with a doubling of your gin intake at breakfast, lunch and dinner for a week.
In the meantime... take to your sick bed.
You haven't ruined your life old chap! I'm sure this 'medical emergency' will be just fine. Keep to your ale and G&T's in future. The occasional port, sherry or brandy would be ok for you to drink but keep away from lager, alcopops and Buckfast as these are drinks that 'common people' drink.
All is not lost old boy! but we must act quickly before this "lager" infects your system and you lose your refinement and upper crust quality's for ever. I'm sending my man Bongo over to drop off a twenty five year old bottle of cognac at your estate immediately. This must all be drunk down in one sitting, all we can do now is pray! pray and wait, pray and wait old chum. Tip top.
Your now a LAGER LOUT and presumably you now also piss on lamposts on your way home or spew up in your own loo when youy get home, you repugnant disgusting animal!
This is your Final Warning unless you abandon this utterly disgusting trait you will be berated, ridiculed and abused by all decent honourable British people for the rest of your life as well as going to Hell after you die.
And may God gave mercy on your soul!
It's no good duke answering that question in white high heels and orange make up with your 3/4 jeans.... it has happened... you know it is no use .... you will go back to the larger and the servants will find out. Seek help now!!!!
Ps Take off that BAseball cap and get the bowler back it does not suit you!
No honest it's a good pint when you are thirsty just don't let the butler know and you will survive.
Got away with a babycham myself last week!
you have a hang over take a paracetamol go back to bed you will live and be your normal self tomorrow
My god sir...quickly check your attire, and pray you have not slipped so far into a stupor that you have inadvertently donned the attire of the common villager such as the track suit or the trainer wearing folk, if so check for the common folk sign of six webbed fingers, if sir your affliction by consumption has not yet reached said proportions it is not to late...the cure is to log ones staff within an inch of their lives...then sir you shall be redeemed and a full recovery shall be swift, and pray you never venture unto the beastly indulgency of lager again.