Would you feel comfortable drinking in the company of an alcoholic?!
I have a friend who had a terrible problem with alcoholism, she's been 'dry' for almost 2 years!.
My problem is that she has suggested we all (us and hubbies) go out next weekend around town, now I know that she knows herself better than I know her but I'm not sure I feel comfortable drinking alcohol around her but she say's its fine and she doesn't mind!. I don't go out very often and when I do go out I like to let my hair down but feel I should maybe stay on soft drinks!.
What do you all think, could you go out and drink alcohol around someone who's had a previous problem with the demon drink!? Or if she said it was fine would you have a tipple or two!?Www@FoodAQ@Com
My problem is that she has suggested we all (us and hubbies) go out next weekend around town, now I know that she knows herself better than I know her but I'm not sure I feel comfortable drinking alcohol around her but she say's its fine and she doesn't mind!. I don't go out very often and when I do go out I like to let my hair down but feel I should maybe stay on soft drinks!.
What do you all think, could you go out and drink alcohol around someone who's had a previous problem with the demon drink!? Or if she said it was fine would you have a tipple or two!?Www@FoodAQ@Com
Answers:
It is considerate of you to think about this!.
I am 25 yrs sober!. I have mixed with many sober alcoholics!. Many of them have drank again!. We have to take responsibilty for our own decisions, ie!. whether we are ready to go out and mix etc!. and there is no shame for her to admit she isn't up to it!. Most alcoholics do not want to cramp the choices of drinkers and with few exceptions we do not let the behaviour of others dictate whether we pick up a drink or not!. If someone 'chose' to go on a night out after 2 years and drank, then in general, their thinking was not solid and they were vulnerable anyway!. It has very little to do with others and part of getting sober is to take responsibilty for our own choices, regardless of other peoples actions!.
If you don't drink in front of her, someone else will and with respect it is not for you to take her responsibility away from her!. If she is going to stay sober long term you have to get used to it and much, much more!.
Have fun!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I am 25 yrs sober!. I have mixed with many sober alcoholics!. Many of them have drank again!. We have to take responsibilty for our own decisions, ie!. whether we are ready to go out and mix etc!. and there is no shame for her to admit she isn't up to it!. Most alcoholics do not want to cramp the choices of drinkers and with few exceptions we do not let the behaviour of others dictate whether we pick up a drink or not!. If someone 'chose' to go on a night out after 2 years and drank, then in general, their thinking was not solid and they were vulnerable anyway!. It has very little to do with others and part of getting sober is to take responsibilty for our own choices, regardless of other peoples actions!.
If you don't drink in front of her, someone else will and with respect it is not for you to take her responsibility away from her!. If she is going to stay sober long term you have to get used to it and much, much more!.
Have fun!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I think you should have a few drinks if she's okay with it!. She might feel more uncomfortable if she felt that people were conciously changing their normal behaviour because of her, it will make her feel as if everyone is treading on egg shells around her and she will be on edge!. I think you're a fantastic friend for caring about her feelings but I think behaving normally around her is more supportive as it sends the message that you believe in her!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I applaud you for consideration of your friend's problem - and her too for staying strong!. As I understand it, alcohol addiction is a constant temptation (as is any other problematic vice)!.
But I see no reason that you can't enjoy a drink or two in the company of your friend - as long as you don't get tipsy yourself!.
You could ask her if she would mind if you had a drink, or if that would make her feel uncomfortable - then take your cue from there!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
But I see no reason that you can't enjoy a drink or two in the company of your friend - as long as you don't get tipsy yourself!.
You could ask her if she would mind if you had a drink, or if that would make her feel uncomfortable - then take your cue from there!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
Someone in my family is a recovered alcoholic!. We don't drink around him, out of respect and to show our support!. But in your case, if she really doesn't mind, why not!? Don't go overboard, and keep an eye on her to make sure she doesn't slip up--if she seems about to give in to temptation, switch to nonalcoholic!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
I am an alcoholic and I am fine with people drinking!. She said she will be fine and she will!.We have to face our demons and we resist them as they are there and we are aware that others do drink, so just relax, enjoy yourself and stop worrying!. Your friend knows she can cope, after all it has been two years!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
If you do I say get **** faced just so she can have a laugh!. I mean if you all are around i dont see the harm of her jumping back on the wagon!. Cuz once she gets that one drink that alcholism is started back all over again!. Its a serious disease and if she takes it seriously she knows that first drink will doom her!. I dont see why you should put a pause on your fun because of her mistake!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
If you're going to a restaurant, and your friend REALLY doesn't mind, I don't think ONE glass of wine or ONE drink would hurt!.!.!. but, why can't you abstain for just that night!? !.!.!.!.!. I think it would be terribly inconsiderate to take her to a bar though!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Www@FoodAQ@Com
i dont drink in front of a recovering alcoholic!.!.!.just the temptation that may make the person get back on booze again - and who knows if they'll be able to get off the next time!.!.!.
bad idea to do this IMOWww@FoodAQ@Com
bad idea to do this IMOWww@FoodAQ@Com
had it not been for the fact she has been dry for 2 years I would have said no!. As she has been, then have a few drinks!. big kudos to her for staying so strong for so longWww@FoodAQ@Com
Just hold your drink real tight!. ;-)Www@FoodAQ@Com
First thing there is no such thing as a recoverd alcoholic once a alcoholc always an alcoholic!. I personeley as a recovering alcohlic dont mind beining in the company of people drinking in fact i often find it very helpfull when i look round people in a bar and see the state that some get themselfs into and think to myself good god did i used to be like that and i did and think to myself just how lucky i was to realize that i have a problem and doing somthing about it!. So if your freind wants to go out with you she will know her limits go and enjoy yourselfWww@FoodAQ@Com
Having been in your situation numerous times over the decades, GO AHEAD - but do try to limit yourself to 1 drink per club, unless you stay at the one spot for the evening, then go ahead & have 2 or 3!. You know your own limit, and presumably, she &/or her companion will be the Designated Driver!. I'm sure she misses the social scene, & alcohol plays a big part in the image & memories!. Don't mean to come off sexist, but it's equally important that the males in your group try to behave themselves!. Especially so if your friend has substituted religion for alcohol - many do, but usually not those that want to go out 'around town'!.Www@FoodAQ@Com